# A question for guys **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 11, 2011, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094 "2011-06-11T08:14:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![sangin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@sangin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/1 "2011-06-11T08:14:07Z")
How many of you have not paid attention to your spouse or wife or gf when she came and hugged u? Let me put it this way, your girl gave u a hug and u still glared at the television because you were tired and just wanted to sit peacefully by yourself. Girls, if u r still reading this, pls answer if u got offended or did u understand that u have to give space and moved away leaving ur guy at peace with the tv? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/2 "2011-06-11T08:36:33Z")
Yes. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/3 "2011-06-11T09:17:59Z")
The way I see it, deliberately ignoring someone is rude. If I know I need some time to myself, I tell my husband something like ‘I’m just going to chill out in front of the tv for a bit and have some me time’. He then understands I want to be alone and respects that. ---
**Author:** ![SSgtBaloo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ac91a4/32.png) [@SSgtBaloo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSgtBaloo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/4 "2011-06-11T09:28:10Z")
Until you stop substituting letters for entire words I will remain uncommunicative on this subject. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/5 "2011-06-11T09:34:23Z")
> [@SSgtBaloo](#): > > Until you stop substituting letters for entire words I will remain uncommunicative on this subject. As will I. OP, please use entire English words, correctly spelled. You might get better responses if you do. ---
**Author:** ![MostlyClueless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@MostlyClueless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MostlyClueless)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/6 "2011-06-11T10:50:36Z")
If you don’t think your post deserves proper attention, neither will we. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/7 "2011-06-11T11:03:03Z")
I think u meant to post the OP at that board way, way over there, where they talk like u. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/8 "2011-06-11T11:55:11Z")
The OP is probly txtng, u no? ---
**Author:** ![sangin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@sangin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sangin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/9 "2011-06-11T17:29:58Z")
Ok, i am reposting, apologies for the previous post. How many of you have not paid attention to your spouse or wife or girl friend when she came and hugged you? Let me put it this way, your girl gave you a hug and you still glared at the television because you were tired and just wanted to sit peacefully by yourself. Girls, if you are still reading this, please answer if you have got offended or did you understand that you have to give space and moved away leaving ur guy at peace with the tv? ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/10 "2011-06-11T17:33:40Z")
Thanks for the repost. I would be offended if he expected me to just read his mind and thought that “glaring at the TV” was somehow the polite way to convey his message. “Glaring at the TV” is sending the signal that he thinks I’m somehow doing something wrong by being affectionate. If he says “Hey, I need some space for a bit to chill, ok?”, I’m fine with that because I often say the same thing, and because the message is “Here is this thing you need to know”, not “How did you not see I didn’t want you around, bitch?” ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/11 "2011-06-11T17:41:03Z")
If he’s sitting in front of the TV and I give him a hug and he just doesn’t respond, I would be hurt. A quick hug back isn’t going to kill him or make him miss much of his show if any. If I’m bugging him by hanging all over him while he’s not in the mood, then he just needs to say so. I’m not a mind reader. ETA: **Suburban Plankton** has never done this. I’m not speaking from experience. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/12 "2011-06-11T17:49:27Z")
> [@Rhiannon8404](#): > > . I’m not a mind reader. No kidding. Years of cultural training have taught me thats THE mans job 🙂 And woe be to him when he fucks it up. ---
**Author:** ![Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/left_hand_of_dorkness/32/7156_2.png) [@Left\_Hand\_of\_Dorkness](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Left_Hand_of_Dorkness)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/13 "2011-06-11T18:05:43Z")
It’s an asshole move. If it was a one-off move, as the girlfriend I’d leave, wait until later, and ask what the hell that was about: maybe he’d gotten in a huge fight at work and didn’t trust himself to speak due to residual fury or something, and I’d make it clear that next time he’d need to, through gritted teeth if necessary, tell me he needed some time alone. If he does that thing regularly, DTMFA. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/14 "2011-06-11T18:30:02Z")
Have you ever seen a parent with a toddler who’s having a hissy fit? The phrase that comes to mind immediately is “Use your words.” There’s a reason we have vocal chords. I may have my own stuff that’s bothering me, and may not notice the clenched fist warping the remote control. Regardless, it should not be expected that I know, recognize, and cater to the emotional whims of someone who is presumably an adult when they can’t be arsed to tell me that something’s going wrong. tl:dr - if you need space or you’re pissy, for God’s sake, just say so. You don’t get an award for manly monosyllabic grunts and huffy sitting posture. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/15 "2011-06-11T21:02:16Z")
I never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend, but I had me a cat once, and every time I would hug her she’d give me that look. But heaven forbid, I should do that to the cat when she wanted to head butt my ankles 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/16 "2011-06-12T00:21:41Z")
No way. If my wife hugs me, I hug back. I’m never too busy for that. ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/17 "2011-06-12T04:14:08Z")
I’ve never ignored or rejected a hug–or any other gesture of affection–from a girlfriend. Or really, from anyone with whom I have an affectionate relationship. Hell, a complete stranger with whom I had just been swordfighting hugged me today, and I made sure to give as good as I got. Each of these little contacts is a stone in the wall between us and loneliness. They are precious. ---
**Author:** ![Dallas\_Jones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dallas_jones/32/3277_2.png) [@Dallas\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dallas_Jones)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/18 "2011-06-12T04:30:16Z")
What is on the TV? Could be important. Fix us a sandwich and we can talk about it. After the TV show, of course. Yes, I’ve been married 3 times. Why do you ask? ---
**Author:** ![Taomist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/53a042/32.png) [@Taomist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taomist)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/19 "2011-06-12T04:44:11Z")
If my sweetie did that I’d assume something was wrong, and ask if everything was ok. If he says ‘just watching the tv’ or whatever, I ask again a few minutes later until he tells me wtf is up. I understand the space thing, but if he really gave me no recognition at all, I’d _assume_ something was wrong, so…yeah. Guys/gals if you don’t want your partner nagging you, use your words, even if it’s just ‘I don’t want to talk about it right now.’ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2011, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094/20 "2011-06-12T05:26:02Z")
If having a girlfriend who can stand you enough to give you a hug is such a burden, I’m sure you’ll be relieved of it at some point. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-guys/585094.md?page=2)