### Author:  [@Dirty\_Earthworm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dirty_Earthworm)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/1 "2002-05-29T15:56:29Z")
To be quite blunt about it, I have to know: what is the deal with (some) guys’ fascination with lesbian sex? As a heterosexual male, I can’t see what the fuss is. Granted, everyone has their own thing that gets them going, but I can’t understand what is so appealing about two women having sex with each other. I see nothing wrong with it, mind you, but I personally can’t relate to lesbian sex, so I can’t get into it. Pornography and sexual fantasies, for me anyway, have to have a penis involved somewhere so that I can ‘relate.’ (and by penis, I’m not referring to a sex toy; I’m talking about one that is attached to an actual person, so I can think, ''Wow, what if I was that guy?") Where are the penises in ‘hot girl-on-girl action’?
As I said, everyone has their own fetish or turn-on, and I’m not at all trying to offend or flame anyone who enjoys watching lesbian sex. I’m just curious as to _why_ you like it. I’ve asked hetero women if they are turned on by the sight of two homosexual men having sex, and I have never once gotten a ‘yes’ response. But the majority of guys I’ve asked about lesbian sex almost start foaming at the mouth. I don’t understand it. A little help, please?
-Dirty
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### Author:  [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/2 "2002-05-29T16:02:09Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Dirty Earthworm \*
> \*\*
> I’ve asked hetero women if they are turned on by the sight of two homosexual men having sex, and I have never once gotten a ‘yes’ response.
> \*\*
You’re asking the wrong girls. \
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### Author:  [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/3 "2002-05-29T16:10:24Z")
I’ve only met one woman who said she liked looking at two guys doing it, I think they are in the minority. They exist, but there’s not a lot of 'em.
I personally like watching two women, because I like to see beautiful women having sex, and this of two of 'em at once. What a deal!
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### Author:  [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/4 "2002-05-29T16:14:05Z")
**I’ve asked hetero women if they are turned on by the sight of two homosexual men having sex, and I have never once gotten a ‘yes’ response.**
Ditto to what **Athena** said. While not heterosexual, I am a woman who enjoys sex…in a variety of forms. So, seeing two guys together is a turn on to me, too.
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### Author:  [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/5 "2002-05-29T16:21:21Z")
I once read (ages ago in a print magazine - no cite possible) the viewpoint of a sexologist who said that straight men find women’s bodies sexy, full stop. They find sexual women’s bodies (ie women having sex) even more sexy. Double the women can be double the appeal, plus with girl-on-girl action there is no “threat” of another man in the way.
You relate to being the man in the film, as I would probably relate to being the woman if I watched hetero porn (I am not turned on by man-or-man because I just can’t relate to it like you say). I could sort of relate to seeing a woman being turned on by another women, in so far as I can imagine what it would be like to have any human stimulate a part of my body. Like you, I would need a member of my own gender there to feel “involved”.
But some men might be turned off by the idea that another man is “in the way” or have hang-ups about seeing another man’s naked body.
I also think there is a difference between being turned on by homosexual sex and being turned on by the body of someone of the same sex. ie: you could be turned on by what the actors were doing, but not actually by them or their bodies. This is true for me anyway. And probably the reason so many unattractive people still make lucrative careers in porn.
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### Author:  [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/6 "2002-05-29T16:23:07Z")
I asked a male friend this question once; he got a quite glazed look in his eyes, began drooling, and finally managed to mutter something about “I don’t know, it just seems like it would be so…y’know…SOFT.”
Other guy friends have commented that maybe since women understand female responses differently, that maybe they could pick up some tips from the girls.
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### Author:  [@MachV](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MachV)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/7 "2002-05-29T16:31:53Z")
[QUOTE]
And probably the reason so many unattractive people still make lucrative careers in porn.
[QUOTE]
Well, they’re definitely more relatable. I’ve always been more partial to the non-barbie doll type of girls. Something about those unique little imperfections that can make a woman so beautiful.
As far as girl/girl pairing goes, I consider myself a fan. Sensuality is 90% visual with me, so the sight of more than one woman doing _anything_, well…you know.
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### Author:  [@Pablito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pablito)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/8 "2002-05-29T16:51:41Z")
I was generally in agreement with the OP, not being especially focused on or fantasizing about FF sex (in my absence). But recently I saw, on video, the movie “Mulholland Drive”! Not a porno (though some ultra-conservatives might disagree), but there are a couple of lesbian scenes in that movie that I found to be amazingly hot and exciting, almost to the degree that I felt I was having a conversion experience of sorts. I think that the two (beautiful) women were both doing it for the first time really added to the erotic appeal.
For other guys (and gals 😉 ) who don’t see the appeal of two women together, haste thee to the video store to pick up this strange David Lynch movie.
Ok, so I haven’t exactly answered the original question yet: what is it I like about it? Women’s bodies are exciting; raw sensuality is exciting. Mix the two together and put in the oven for a few minutes: OMG.
I guess if I can imagine (fantasize) myself watching and then joining in, it works for me. All those beautiful curves, that smooth feminine softness and sensitivity, that wonderful aroma (cassoulet), the flexibility and gentleness–aaaahhhh!
Time for a cold shower.
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### Author:  [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/9 "2002-05-29T17:19:36Z")
**Revtim** and **istara** have pretty much nailed it. Espcially this bit:
> [@](#):
>
> …straight men find women’s bodies sexy, full stop. They find sexual women’s bodies (ie women having sex) even more sexy. Double the women can be double the appeal, plus with girl-on-girl action there is no “threat” of another man in the way.
My only modification to this would be that I don’t see a man as a “threat”, just a _hindrance_ to me watching women having a _really_ good time. In other words, he’s mucking up the view.
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### Author:  [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/10 "2002-05-29T17:24:07Z")
I’ve heard the thing about “two women, no threat of another man, no dealing with homophobia” explanation before, and I gotta say, that’s just not it for me.
I don’t know what it is, but it’s more magical than that.
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### Author:  [@mack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mack)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/11 "2002-05-29T17:48:13Z")
Well I can’t explain it, but what fogs my spectacles is when two girls do it for the first time. There’s maybe a little seduction, exploratory glances, tenuous touching, the first kiss, hoo boy! After the first time, it’s not that big a deal.
I guess it’s related to the multitude of scenes of women masturbating. To me it looks like it feels so good. You don’t see many scenes of men masturbating, even though you can certainly relate to it.
And yeah, that scene in that David Lynch movie is awesome.
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### Author:  [@blowero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blowero)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/12 "2002-05-29T18:24:18Z")
If you’re looking for a logical explanation, you won’t find it. Sexual turn-ons are not about logic. I heard a pretty compelling theory that goes something like this: As heterosexual males, we go though life desiring women, but in many cases are thwarted by the woman’s reluctance to engage in sex with us, which is frustrating. So subconsciously, the ultimate turn-on is for us to see women engaging in sex purely for enjoyment, and not for procreation. Two women having sex symbolizes the idea of a woman freely exploring her sexuality. It seems like this would also explain why a woman masturbating is often a turn-on.
That, and not having to look at some guy’s hairy doo-dads getting in the way.
I mean, c’mon guys - tell me you’ve ever watched Xena without imagining those two going at it.
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### Author:  [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/13 "2002-05-29T19:15:38Z")
I think one more qualification is in order…
“Lesbians” having sex together = no guys
“women” having sex together = The guy might have a chance 'cuz they’re bisexual!
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### Author:  [@rjung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjung)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/14 "2002-05-29T19:26:38Z")
Never underestimate the appeal of a guy fantasizing himself stepping into the scene and making it a threesome. 🙂
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### Author:  [@archmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/archmichael)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/15 "2002-05-29T19:30:51Z")
**GrizzRich** beat me to it. Us guys who like it, don’t think of the women as Lesbians, but as two uninhibited women going at it. This means that if you were to walk in on them, they would be happy you showed up.
Also, a hetero woman who would be willing to have sex with another woman is very sexy. She is doing something that is taboo, which means that she is probably willing to do other taboo acts.
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### Author:  [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/16 "2002-05-29T19:31:32Z")
…ah yes - letting the ladies warm themselves up and then stepping in to “show them how it’s done properly”…
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### Author:  [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/17 "2002-05-29T19:34:04Z")
I agree with some of the sentiments about the women being Bi. If they are both lesbians, then I ain’t into it. It’s a tease to me. If they are both Bi then, hey, I gots a shot!
With porn though I’m not into it, because how do I know if they crave man meat…but on the other hand, it is twice the naked ladies…
Shoot. I suppose their is only one way to find out. Now I’m going to have to go out and get a bunch of porn…Thanks a lot.
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### Author:  [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/18 "2002-05-29T20:40:51Z")
I’d like to advance my own theory, maybe some of the men who posted here will identify with it:
Straight relationships are mainstream. They’re _establishment_ institutions with lots of rules and restrictions - _prisons_, if you will. Deviations from established gender roles are generally looked upon with suspicion.
Gay relationships are already outside the box. You’ve already broken the most important rule, the one about _who_ you can love, so all the rules about _how_ you can love them are essentially out the window. It’s basically about freedom. Plus, the perception is that a gay person knows his/her partner is with them out of love. I have seen so, so, so many straight relationships that exist solely because society hates single people and the boyfriend, girlfriend, or both are tired of living as second-class citizens. Gays are already second-class citizens.
So why don’t women drool over gay men? The answer: They do. Just ask **Athena**. I’ve known more than a few women who’ve told me that the idea of two men getting it on was totally hot to them.
And why, if all these people are so hard for homosexuality, don’t they just get into a gay relationship themselves? The answer: They’re just not built that way. I don’t think I could ever date a man, it’s just not an appealing idea to me. The lesbian deal is an escapist fantasy for me, with all the appeal of existing outside the sexual mainstream without the downside of having to suck dick.
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### Author:  [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/19 "2002-05-29T20:41:10Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by istara \*
> \*\*…ah yes - letting the ladies warm themselves up and then stepping in to “show them how it’s done properly”… \*\*
Ah, no.
It’s a fine point, but **archmichael** captures it pretty well. Uninhibited is hot, simply being a warmup until I get there isn’t.
One of the hottest things I ever heard was in the movie “Henry and June,” when the character of Anais Nin told one of two women, “stop pretending you’re a man.”
Shower time.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [May 29, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363/20 "2002-05-29T22:37:17Z")
There are _lots_ of women who are turned on by the thought of men doing it together. Most slash (male/male erotic fanfiction for such series as Star Trek) is written by women. (For some women, a lot of gay porn written by straight girls is a lot better than that written by gay boys.)
In Japan, housewives and schoolgirls are the major consumers of _shounen ai_ and _yaoi_ manga and anime (the first refers to gay romance, particularly between teenage boys; the second refers to the same, except in the form of erotica). Anime series with _shounen ai_ elements almost always fall into the class of _shoujo_ (“girl”) anime.
Hell - [Boy Meets Boy](http://boymeetsboy.keenspace.com) is drawn by a woman. (And what a woman!)
So yes - there are a _lot_ of women who are into the faygelehs.
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-straight-guys-regarding-lesbians/111363.md?page=2)