# A question for the Doper Dom/subs **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 23, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541 "2003-04-23T05:34:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/1 "2003-04-23T05:34:55Z")
I’ve run into a few from each group around the boards in different threads and I have a question… As a Master how do you punish? I mean what inventive ways have you come up with to punish your sub/slave/pets? Sexual or not. To the sub/slave/pets, what is the most creative thing your Master has come up with? I wouldn’t consider myself a switch but at one point in time I did have a friend online that I used to be a Mistress to. I keep the Mistress title in my sig line because it has meant many different things so it is still fairly fitting. But, I am a pet. My Lord adores me but he can be wicked when it comes to punishment. If I over-step my bounds he has be known to shave his face because he knows I adore it when he doesn’t shave. At times there are certain words or phrases I am not allowed to use and when I do it can mean that he won’t speak in my direction for a time. I’ll share a bit more when a few others share. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/2 "2003-04-23T18:50:52Z")
I am not experienced enough to help answer your questions, I have never found a partner willing to explore more than light bondage and spanking. I am a switch, or maybe more correctly a Dom who can also appreciate the pleasures of pain. This thread deserves some more posts, does anyone have any good tips on finding a compatible partner? ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2003, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/3 "2003-04-23T18:56:28Z")
I just want to know what’s with all the bdsm threads lately. I think a trend is starting here. bippy, just google “bdsm personals” - you’ll get a million hits. If you’re going the online route for searching, that is. ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/4 "2003-04-24T01:00:58Z")
I doubt I’d trust on line even for vanilla relationships. And the nearby munches that I have been to seemed to be all couples. b.t.w. I don’t think it is an sdmb thenominon, bdsm is becoming more open in general arround San Francisco and I susspect elsewhere. I have sertainly noticed many more black and blue (with red heart) bumper stickers. ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/5 "2003-04-24T02:26:12Z")
Hold on, I’ll direct my best friend over to this thread… ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/6 "2003-04-24T02:29:25Z")
I punish my pet by refusing to let her kiss me. I can get pretty cruel with that one. It makes her whimper like a puppy, which is gratifying. ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/7 "2003-04-24T03:33:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by kung fu lola \* > \*\*I punish my pet by refusing to let her kiss me. I can get pretty cruel with that one. It makes her whimper like a puppy, which is gratifying. \*\* Oh, that one drives me crazy as well. That and not being allowed to touch him. Sexually or not. And Bippy, I wouldn’t think of you as a switch. Because as a Master you could have your sub pleasure you with pain. Unless of course you like serving others to recieve your pain? ---
**Author:** ![moi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@moi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moi)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2003, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/8 "2003-04-24T06:20:37Z")
We just had an interesting discussion about this as I am primarily punished through pain (as opposed to the almost emotional blackmail of kung fu lola and kricket’s posts). As the BDSM side of our relationship isn’t 24/7, however, my dom has made the point of never punishing me for “real life situations,” e.g. I show up late from school, I don’t empty the dishwasher…but either makes up generalizations (my attitude, my dirty thoughts) or puts me in situations where this is no real right answer (damningly frustrating and a great position to be in as a sub! :D). I’m interested to see what qualifies as punishment in other relationships (and believe my partner and I can pick up an idea or two from this thread!), but also am interested to know if others have similar reality/fantasy lines or what, in fact, they’ve been punished for (if **Kricket** doesn’t think it’s an overwhelming hijack of her thread?). ---
**Author:** ![Kricket](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f14d63/32.png) [@Kricket](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kricket)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/9 "2003-04-25T13:14:12Z")
Not at all moi, jump right in. We are not 24/7 either and I do take some pain but mostly light stuff so far. Spanking, riding crop, and the like. No nipple clamps or anything since I am pierced. I have a friend who is a pain slave and I cringe when she tells me what is in her little toy chest. I can’t have marks left on me. I would have a hard time explaining them in my home life. And could you please explain a bit more about the reality/fantasy lines? ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/10 "2003-04-25T20:32:15Z")
Not that I know about any of this personally, mind you, but here are some ideas that I have heard can be very successful: 1. Being forced to watch some really boring program - wrestling, MacNeil/Lehrer, the Weather Channel - for several hours. 2. Earphones taped to ears, insert CD of Yanni or Billy Ray Cyrus or whatever kind of music subbbie hates. 3. Write “I am very sorry I did [whatever] and promise never to do it again” 500 times in longhand. Must be neat and legible the whole time. 4. Scrub bathroom floor with a toothbrush. 5. Cut the grass with nail scissors. 6. No orgasms for a week/month/whatever. (Make sure bad little subbie REALLY wants one.) 7. No contact with dom for X days (obviously this doesn’t work if you live together). 8. Completely ignore subbie if you do live together - pretend she/he is not even there. 9. Deprive subbie of something she/he likes or enjoys regularly - no TV or no ice cream or no sugar in her coffee - for a week. 10. Have subbie sleep in another room, not with dom, if they normally do. 11. (If at a kink-friendly event): have subbie wear a sign with offense written on it: “I was snotty and rude.” Encourage others to ask for details. Oh, I could go on and on. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/11 "2003-04-25T20:40:21Z")
Please tell me that **missbunny** is a dom. I’d just love the irony given the username. ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/12 "2003-04-25T21:00:42Z")
I’ll never tell, I’ll never tell, repeat repeat repeat. ---
**Author:** ![Padeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@Padeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Padeye)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-for-the-doper-dom-subs/170541/13 "2003-04-25T21:21:12Z")
Punishment doesn’t enter into this part of our relationship. Oh yes, I’ll tease and threaten a “punshiment” which usually gets a barely contained giggle and an “ooh goody” expression from TLL but never real punishment. I’m sure part of it has to do with our maturity and background. When two people our ages get married it’s better to realize you’re both set in your ways. The only thing punishing will accomplish is earn me a bed next to the dog. Bigger still I think is I won’t want to remind her of the worst aspects of growing up. Not that this is something we see as mere “spice.” We take it seriously but think it should be filled with joy and laghter from both dom and sub. Sometimes muffled laughter.