### Author:  [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2011, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/47 "2011-07-03T06:27:39Z")
> [@Tibbytoes](#):
>
> This thread reminds me so much of my long-gone days of wonton sexual diaspora… or, what I refer to as my _“special gift”_ to womankind. You see, I’ve always put the pleasures of women far, far ahead of my own simple desires—character flaw or saintly conduct?..you decide.
>
> Back in the day, when the hour-of-lovemaking came for me to “pleasure” the current woman in my life (be they fiancées, girlfriends, acquaintances or wives of acquaintances) I would carefully arrange a series of custom-manufactured, 9.5 inch extra-depth, [Toms Collins glasses](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.styleathome.com/img/photos/biz/Style%2520at%2520Home/cocktail-highball.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.styleathome.com/food-and-entertaining/wine-and-spirits/classic-cocktail-glass-ideas/a/32102/2&usg=__K4OP2K1Vwc_QaexkBAIeYm_SRe8=&h=550&w=550&sz=83&hl=en&start=88&sig2=sxeBoCNMoCfPiOowFjfqMw&zoom=1&tbnid=JfkqMc3QF6vUsM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=113&ei=WdgPTvviE4m50AGRnf3GDg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dtom%2Bcollins%2Bglass%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DO0s%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D590%26tbs%3Disz:m%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=464&vpy=173&dur=54&hovh=224&hovw=224&tx=133&ty=108&page=6&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:88) on the bedside table and fill them with a variety of dipping sauces—typically _“sweet and sour”, “honey-mustard”, “teriyaki”, “guacamole” , “Jamaica Jerk”_ and a few others.
>
> Then, to the sheer delight of my lady (s) of the evening, I would invite her (them) to dip my penis into the sauce of their choice, then consume, with wild abandon, to their hearts desire. They’d then have the option to repeat the process with the same sauce or move on to the next. Repeat customers were even allowed to B.Y.O. sauce, as long as it was Kosher and contained no cayenne pepper (ouch).
>
> Caring person that I am, I’d always provide a fat-free dipping sauce for the fatties, a sugar-free sauce for diabetics and a lactose-free sauce for lactose-intolerants (sorry, but fulminating flatulence is even more than I, altruistic as I am, should be expected to endure).
>
> Sometimes, when in a particularly giving mood, I’d even arrange themed “tastings” (like wine tastings, only longer and more adorable): Example: _Fiesta Night_ for m’lady, her friends and family, complete with pineapple ring toss ‘n munch and mock cock fights).
>
> Yes, men, I know what you’re thinking with regard to penis dipping—_\_.But, you know what, I feel a great deal of indebtedness to our women of the world…what with their having to put up with the pain of childbirth, yeast infections, high heels, smaller brains and whatnot. I consider it a privilege, in fact my duty, to do my small part (not to imply that my “part” is small), giving immense joy these fellow earth dwellers of ours, whenever possible.
>
> As currently a married man, I’m, in a way, officially off the market, so to speak, when it comes to pleasuring vast numbers of ladies, as once I could, off the record. So men, I implore you to take up the reigns which I’ve partially had to forfeit, stock up on a variety of dipping sauces and continue to bring pleasure to Earth’s fairer sex. God will reserve a special place in heaven for your efforts.
>
> (You’re welcome, ladies) 🙂
How about that.
---
### Author:  [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2011, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/48 "2011-07-03T06:37:12Z")
I saw this in a ventriloquist’s act, once. Weird act.
---
### Author:  [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)
#### Post date: [July 3, 2011, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/49 "2011-07-03T07:05:33Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#):
>
> How about that.
I took that post as a wind up. It is isn’t it?
---
### Author:  [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2011, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/50 "2011-07-04T02:05:35Z")
> [@xoferew](#):
>
> “I would like to make a life-sized plaster cast replica of your penis, for future use. Please dip in this jar of molten plastic, pull out, and wait for it to cool and harden. Sorry, it’s like the plastic used for clamshell packaging, so you will undoubtedly lacerate your hands badly when you cut it off. You know, to kill two birds with one stone, let’s first coat your penis with this burn cream, which will also keep the plastic from sticking too much.”
Cynthia, is that you?
---
### Author:  [@Jinx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jinx)
#### Post date: [July 4, 2011, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/51 "2011-07-04T10:22:42Z")
A dip in plain water? Yeah, I’d like to see you trust your suregeon or even a dentist, or how about your barber with that! Yeah, water - the universal sterilizer! Works everytime! 😉
---
### Author:  [@Khendrask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khendrask)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/52 "2011-07-06T15:15:03Z")
Maybe she just had a misconception about the term “Teabagging”.
---
### Author:  [@brewha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brewha)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/53 "2011-07-06T16:06:52Z")
> [@Happy\_Lendervedder](#):
>
> I believe the correct phrasing is [“shoehorn butterhorse.”](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=38764)
I was just going from memory - but I knew it didn’t quite have the right beat to it. Thanks for the correction!
---
### Author:  [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/54 "2011-07-06T17:22:49Z")
As I understand it serving a Post-coitus glass of water penis dip by itself is not a good idea.
Better to compliment it with a chilled vulva.
Add some fresh titties garnished with frozen peas or just plain ice shavings for a real treat.
Glad to help,
Bubba
---
### Author:  [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/55 "2011-07-06T17:33:24Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#):
>
> Better to compliment it with a chilled vulva.
Meeting a talking vulva would be the only thing scarier than children in horror movies.
---
### Author:  [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/56 "2011-07-06T17:47:45Z")
I wonder if she expected it to behave something like [this](http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/additional/large/drinking_bird_beak.jpg)?
---
### Author:  [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/57 "2011-07-06T17:56:42Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#):
>
> .
>
> Better to compliment it with a chilled vulva.
Just make sure you let it breath first.
Trust me on this.
---
### Author:  [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/58 "2011-07-06T17:57:14Z")
> [@chaoticbear](#):
>
> Meeting a talking vulva would be the only thing scarier than children in horror movies.
[http://cgi.ebay.com/CHATTERBOX-1977-Candice-Rialson-TALKING-VAGINA-POSTER-/220534049239](http://cgi.ebay.com/CHATTERBOX-1977-Candice-Rialson-TALKING-VAGINA-POSTER-/220534049239)
> **[Chatterbox! (1977) ⭐ 5.0 | Comedy, Fantasy](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075830/)**
>
> 1h 13m | R
[http://www.sell.com/2485WV](http://www.sell.com/2485WV)
…and there’s another:
> **[Le sexe qui parle (1975) ⭐ 5.5 | Adult, Comedy, Fantasy](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190780/)**
>
> 1h 10m | X
> **[Le Sexe qui parle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Sexe_qui_parle)**
>
> Le Sexe qui parle is a 1975 French adult film by Claude Mulot. It was the first exclusive hardcore feature film produced and released in France to meet international success, and has been called a cult film. In 1977, Mulot directed the sequel Le Sexe qui parle II, which starts with the "infection" passed by Eric to a prostitute.
> Joëlle (Pénélope Lamour) is a beautiful executive at an advertising company who is married to Eric (Jean-Loup Philippe). Her vagina becomes infected with a mysterious af...
---
### Author:  [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/59 "2011-07-06T19:11:04Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#):
>
> [http://cgi.ebay.com/CHATTERBOX-1977-Candice-Rialson-TALKING-VAGINA-POSTER-/220534049239](http://cgi.ebay.com/CHATTERBOX-1977-Candice-Rialson-TALKING-VAGINA-POSTER-/220534049239)
>
> [Chatterbox! (1977) - IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0075830/)
>
> [http://www.sell.com/2485WV](http://www.sell.com/2485WV)
>
> …and there’s another:
>
> [Le sexe qui parle (1975) - IMDb](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0190780/)
>
> [Le Sexe qui parle - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Le_Sexe_qui_parle)
Oh god, I’m at work and can’t imagine clicking any of those links. I think a pop-up siren would come out of the monitor.
PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT!
(yes, they do have aggressive internet-filtering software here, why do you ask?)
---
### Author:  [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)
#### Post date: [July 6, 2011, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364/60 "2011-07-06T19:15:50Z")
> [@Tibbytoes](#):
>
> This thread reminds me so much of my long-gone days of wonton sexual diaspora… or, what I refer to as my _“special gift”_ to womankind. You see, I’ve always put the pleasures of women far, far ahead of my own simple desires—character flaw or saintly conduct?..you decide.
>
> Back in the day, when the hour-of-lovemaking came for me to “pleasure” the current woman in my life (be they fiancées, girlfriends, acquaintances or wives of acquaintances) I would carefully arrange a series of custom-manufactured, 9.5 inch extra-depth, [Toms Collins glasses](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.styleathome.com/img/photos/biz/Style%2520at%2520Home/cocktail-highball.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.styleathome.com/food-and-entertaining/wine-and-spirits/classic-cocktail-glass-ideas/a/32102/2&usg=__K4OP2K1Vwc_QaexkBAIeYm_SRe8=&h=550&w=550&sz=83&hl=en&start=88&sig2=sxeBoCNMoCfPiOowFjfqMw&zoom=1&tbnid=JfkqMc3QF6vUsM:&tbnh=113&tbnw=113&ei=WdgPTvviE4m50AGRnf3GDg&prev=/search%3Fq%3Dtom%2Bcollins%2Bglass%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26hs%3DO0s%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D590%26tbs%3Disz:m%26tbm%3Disch&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=464&vpy=173&dur=54&hovh=224&hovw=224&tx=133&ty=108&page=6&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:9,s:88) on the bedside table and fill them with a variety of dipping sauces—typically _“sweet and sour”, “honey-mustard”, “teriyaki”, “guacamole” , “Jamaica Jerk”_ and a few others.
>
> Then, to the sheer delight of my lady (s) of the evening, I would invite her (them) to dip my penis into the sauce of their choice, then consume, with wild abandon, to their hearts desire. They’d then have the option to repeat the process with the same sauce or move on to the next. Repeat customers were even allowed to B.Y.O. sauce, as long as it was Kosher and contained no cayenne pepper (ouch).
>
> Caring person that I am, I’d always provide a fat-free dipping sauce for the fatties, a sugar-free sauce for diabetics and a lactose-free sauce for lactose-intolerants (sorry, but fulminating flatulence is even more than I, altruistic as I am, should be expected to endure).
>
> Sometimes, when in a particularly giving mood, I’d even arrange themed “tastings” (like wine tastings, only longer and more adorable): Example: _Fiesta Night_ for m’lady, her friends and family, complete with pineapple ring toss ‘n munch and mock cock fights).
>
> Yes, men, I know what you’re thinking with regard to penis dipping—_\_.But, you know what, I feel a great deal of indebtedness to our women of the world…what with their having to put up with the pain of childbirth, yeast infections, high heels, smaller brains and whatnot. I consider it a privilege, in fact my duty, to do my small part (not to imply that my “part” is small), giving immense joy these fellow earth dwellers of ours, whenever possible.
>
> As currently a married man, I’m, in a way, officially off the market, so to speak, when it comes to pleasuring vast numbers of ladies, as once I could, off the record. So men, I implore you to take up the reigns which I’ve partially had to forfeit, stock up on a variety of dipping sauces and continue to bring pleasure to Earth’s fairer sex. God will reserve a special place in heaven for your efforts.
>
> (You’re welcome, ladies) 🙂
I think this deserves more attention than it got. 🙂
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364.md?page=2)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-ive-been-wanting-to-ask-for-years-re-post-coitus-glass-of-water-penis-dip/587364.md?page=4)