# A question of relationship semantics **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 23, 2010, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093 "2010-01-23T07:07:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/1 "2010-01-23T07:07:00Z")
Help me settle a light-hearted argument I’ve been involved in. Your choices are relatively simple. You are, hypothetically, an unmarried individual. You are, however, involved in a committed, romantic relationship. By committed, I mean that you two have agreed that you and your partner are dating each other exclusively, with no intention or desire to date anyone else. Under these circumstances, do you consider yourself to be “single”? The poll is specifically designed to be a yes or no question, but I welcome any and all comments about it in the thread. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/2 "2010-01-23T07:16:13Z")
Unless someone (more likely, some form) explicitly is asking about your marital status, specifically, you are definitely not “single”. ---
**Author:** ![MitzeKatze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ad7895/32.png) [@MitzeKatze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MitzeKatze)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/3 "2010-01-23T07:35:36Z")
As above, except for in a legal-definition sense of the word, not single at all. After all single means “one”, an individual, alone. If you are in a committed relationship and your partner agrees, then you are very definitely part of a couple. ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_C](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Captain\_C](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_C)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/4 "2010-01-23T07:36:20Z")
My girlfriend and I have an understanding that we are allowed to “have a good time” with others, but at the end of the day we come home to each other, since we live together and all. I’d say if I’m flirting with someone I am single, if not I am in a relationship. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/5 "2010-01-23T07:45:22Z")
In practical terms single=available. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 8:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/6 "2010-01-23T08:59:02Z")
Single, if the alternative is married/de facto. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/7 "2010-01-23T09:00:02Z")
I hate having to check “single” on a form, in spite of a 22-year committed relationship. We are married, in every sense of the term but legally. ---
**Author:** ![Teacake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Teacake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Teacake)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/8 "2010-01-23T14:13:11Z")
We’re not married, but we’ve been together for ten years, own a house together, etc. I am most definitely not single, and I think my partner would be pretty upset (and possibly question my motives!) if I went around telling people I was. Even on forms, more and more these days they have “cohabiting” as an option, so I tick that. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/9 "2010-01-23T14:18:35Z")
Strictly speaking, you’re singe. However instead of answering “single” I would usually say “I’m not married but I’m in a serious relationship”. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/10 "2010-01-23T15:16:19Z")
As above. There are two distinct definitions / criteria for “single”: legally married vs. not, and available for dating vs. not. Only the rest of the context can tell you which question is being asked and therefore which answer is correct. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/11 "2010-01-23T15:50:00Z")
> [@elfkin477](#): > > In practical terms single=available. **elfkin** nailed it in one. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/12 "2010-01-23T15:54:42Z")
Exactly. I’m single on the census, but I’m not single at the bar. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/13 "2010-01-23T19:05:16Z")
The only entity that can consider me single is the IRS. Fuckers. ---
**Author:** ![Pray\_for\_peace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Pray\_for\_peace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pray_for_peace)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/14 "2010-01-23T22:58:01Z")
I answered “no” in the poll, but at my workplace, which is decidedly conservative, most of my married colleagues think that not married = single. ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/15 "2010-01-23T23:27:29Z")
Single = not married ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/16 "2010-01-23T23:30:33Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > I hate having to check “single” on a form, in spite of a 22-year committed relationship. We are married, in every sense of the term but legally. Where do you live and do you co-habitate? Most legal documents that I’ve seen around here (e.g. census type forms, and employment benefits) “common-law relationship” has been an option for awhile. Edit: I get a bit befuddled when I have only the options of “married” “single”, “divorced” etc., but forms with such restrictive options are few and far between. ---
**Author:** ![SciFiSam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/47e85d/32.png) [@SciFiSam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SciFiSam)\ **Post date:** [January 23, 2010, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/17 "2010-01-23T23:40:54Z")
No. Even in a legal sense (in the UK, at least) if you’re living with your partner then you’re not treated as single - your partner’s income counts if you apply for any state benefits, for example. ---
**Author:** ![Eats\_Crayons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/278dde/32.png) [@Eats\_Crayons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eats_Crayons)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 12:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/18 "2010-01-24T00:07:38Z")
> [@scifisam2009](#): > > No. Even in a legal sense (in the UK, at least) if you’re living with your partner then you’re not treated as single - your partner’s income counts if you apply for any state benefits, for example. This is my experience in Canada as well. ---
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/19 "2010-01-24T01:22:07Z")
When filling out forms, you’re single. When someone asks you if you’re single, the answer is no. ---
**Author:** ![chicken\_wire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a88e4f/32.png) [@chicken\_wire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chicken_wire)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2010, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093/20 "2010-01-24T01:49:31Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > You are, hypothetically, an unmarried individual. You are, however, involved in a committed, romantic relationship. By committed, I mean that you two have agreed that you and your partner are dating each other exclusively, with no intention or desire to date anyone else. I say you’re single. If someone asks, you’re single, but you have a boyfriend / girlfriend / significant other. There’s no mention above of living arrangements, property, or time. If you are ‘dating’, you are single. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-of-relationship-semantics/526093.md?page=2)