# A question on Virginity(Adult Content?) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 14, 2002, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824 "2002-08-14T11:36:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![glass\_onion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@glass\_onion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glass_onion)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/1 "2002-08-14T11:36:38Z")
This is a question for the Gay men of the SDMB. What do you consider to be losing your virginity? Is it Giving Anal Sex for the first time, or Getting Anal Sex for the first time. I know that “straight” virginity involves vaginal sex, and that people who have only have had Anal sex are not strictly virgins(ymmv), but do the gay community make a distinction? ---
**Author:** ![John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ccd318/32.png) [@John\_Kentzel-Griffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Kentzel-Griffin)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/2 "2002-08-14T12:50:30Z")
This is more of a poll than a General Question with a factual answer. I’ll move it to IMHO. My own opinion: I lost my virginity the first time I had sex – Sex isn’t necessarly anal. **DrMatrix** - General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/3 "2002-08-14T15:45:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by glass onion \* > \*\*This is a question for the Gay men of the SDMB. > > What do you consider to be losing your virginity? > > Is it Giving Anal Sex for the first time, or Getting Anal Sex for the first time. I know that “straight” virginity involves vaginal sex, and that people who have only have had Anal sex are not strictly virgins(ymmv), but do the gay community make a distinction? \*\* Either way, I consider it losing ones virginity. ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/4 "2002-08-14T17:13:34Z")
There are differents even in normal sexual relationship. I think the RC Curch teaches that any vaginal penatration by a penis grounds for loss of virginity and any willful action that leads to ejaculation is also grounds. So it short if a guy masterbates it qualifies as loss of virginity (the 1st time) but a girl can have cliteral stimulation and still be a virgin. That was quite a while back where I remember hearing it and please correct me if I’m wrong. If I’m right then if the guy cums that is loss of virginity. ---
**Author:** ![mandielise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/58956e/32.png) [@mandielise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mandielise)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/5 "2002-08-14T20:55:02Z")
I just wanna know how lesbians lose their virginity? The first time rubber enters the picture??? ---
**Author:** ![Serendipity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Serendipity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serendipity)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/6 "2002-08-14T21:27:44Z")
On a similar note, can a person be sexually active, but still a virgin? My younger sister and her friends claim that you can only be sexually active after losing your virginity (which, to them, means engaging in vaginal intercourse). To them, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc., isn’t “real sex,” and therefore doing any of those things doesn’t make a person sexually active. I disagree, but I’m wondering if any other Dopers have encountered this opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2002, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/7 "2002-08-14T21:44:54Z")
There is no universal homosexual standard as to what specific acts must be performed in order for the state of virginity to be lost. Most people seem to consider oral sex enough to do the job, but there are plenty of exceptions. I’ve even known a few who didn’t consider _any_ form of homosexual activity “real sex” and considered themselves virgins until they engaged in heterosexual intercourse. Weird. ---
**Author:** ![Sivalensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Sivalensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sivalensis)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/8 "2002-08-15T03:35:30Z")
I’ve always thought of actual penetration as the loss of virginity. I don’t consider oral and manual to NOT be sex, I think they are a form of it. But I think that if all you ever engage in is oral or manual sex, then you’re still a virgin. ---
**Author:** ![TVGuy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/82dd89/32.png) [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 5:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/9 "2002-08-15T05:04:12Z")
I’m in the “first time with another person that leads to ejaculation” camp on this one. I guess in the strictest sense of the concept, penetration would qualify as “the” event that causes the transition from virgin to non-virgin. But the reason that I think of it as simply having sexual contact, relations, whatever, with another is that it signifies a first time intimate experience. And with men, since you don’t have the traditional vagina-penis model to go by, I think the “he made me come” model works well. Gee, why did I answer this thread? It was warm enough in this house to start with this evening. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/10 "2002-08-15T17:36:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by TVGuy \* > \*\*I’m in the “first time with another person that leads to ejaculation” camp on this one. > \*\* I think this is rather silly. Sex is still sex even if no one has an orgasm – it’s just not very _good_ sex. ---
**Author:** ![brandiwine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed8c4c/32.png) [@brandiwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brandiwine)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2002, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/11 "2002-08-15T21:39:58Z")
Take turns giving & receiving anal sex. Then have a meeting of the swords _smack smack smack_ And Top it off with a little mutual beefstick kissie. Then there won’t be any question. 😃 I would say though, the first time you penetrate, or are penetrated - either way. You are both playing a role that straight folks play when they lose theirs. And if the straight folks lose theirs by giving, or receiving… then I dont see why you’d be any different. (Unless you’d like to keep note of when you lost it - for both instances) Ex: 15 Aug: Got Poked! 18 Aug: Poked Back! ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/12 "2002-08-16T01:46:12Z")
There’s a lot of grey area. My standard is, if someone says they’re not a virgin, then they’re not. Their standards for whether they’re a virgin may be radically different from mine, but it really is up to them. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/13 "2002-08-16T14:12:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Serendipity \* > \*\*On a similar note, can a person be sexually active, but still a virgin? My younger sister and her friends claim that you can only be sexually active after losing your virginity (which, to them, means engaging in vaginal intercourse). To them, oral sex, manual stimulation, etc., isn’t “real sex,” and therefore doing any of those things doesn’t make a person sexually active. I disagree, but I’m wondering if any other Dopers have encountered this opinion. \*\* According to former President Bill Clinton, this is the case. And I agree. As far as heterosexual sex goes, anyway. But I choose to leave it up to the individuals involved. I engaged in oral-genital stimulation, and mutual masturbation, etc before I engaged in intercourse. I was 15 when I started getting into the heavy kissing, fondling, that sort of thing. It progressively increased in intensity until I engaged in sexual (that is, vaginal penetration with a penis…this is for the heterosexual community, in my opinion. As I said, I leave it to others to define it themselves) intercourse for the first time at the age of 20. That is when I considered my virginity lost. ---
**Author:** ![Babar714](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@Babar714](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Babar714)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2002, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-on-virginity-adult-content/123824/14 "2002-08-16T16:41:04Z")
Yes, there does seem to be a lot of gay area here.