# A quickly needed Monty Python GQ **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 24, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823 "2004-04-24T18:22:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![davidm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/davidm/32/225_2.png) [@davidm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/davidm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/61 "2004-04-26T20:56:05Z")
We’ve got lumps of it 'round the back. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 9:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/62 "2004-04-26T21:44:40Z")
…a man with a tape recorder up his _brother’s_ nose. ---
**Author:** ![sqweels](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f19dbf/32.png) [@sqweels](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sqweels)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/63 "2004-04-26T21:55:11Z")
My hobbies outside summarizing are: [ul] [li]Golf[/li][li]Strangling Animals[/li][li]Maturbating[/li][/ul] But I understand that golf’s not very popular around here. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/64 "2004-04-26T22:08:16Z")
What are you, some sort of poofta? ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2004, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/65 "2004-04-26T22:58:35Z")
It’s hot enough to boil a monkey’s bum in here, your majesty. ---
**Author:** ![Sampiro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sampiro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sampiro)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/66 "2004-04-27T00:30:24Z")
Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? (I guarantee you that somewhere- probably on these very boards- is somebody who knows that full name without having to do a cut & paste, and I’ll wager kidneys to donuts that person has never had a date.) ---
**Author:** ![Captain\_Carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f0a364/32.png) [@Captain\_Carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Carrot)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/67 "2004-04-27T00:54:21Z")
And by this country, I mean Great Britain. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/68 "2004-04-27T01:09:28Z")
Perhaps he was dictating. ---
**Author:** ![Etherman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/958977/32.png) [@Etherman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Etherman)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/69 "2004-04-27T04:55:46Z")
In the bleak days of 1983, as England languished in the doldrums of a ruinous monetarist policy, the good and loyal men of the Permanent Assurance Company - a once-proud family firm recently fallen an hard times - strained under the yoke of their oppressive new corporate management… Pushed beyond the bounds of decent and reasonable victimisation - the aged retainers take their destiny in their own hands and… MUTINY! And so - the Crimson Permanent Assurance was launched upon the high seas of international finance! Yeah it’s a cut & paste, but it’s a cool little skit. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/70 "2004-04-27T16:44:55Z")
Let me go back in there and face the peril! No, it’s too perilous. Bet you’re gay. …No I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![Aholibah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Aholibah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aholibah)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/71 "2004-04-27T17:57:38Z")
Strange women lyin’ in ponds, distributin’ swords is no basis for a system of government! (I could do the rest, but then somebody might think I’ve never had a date.) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/72 "2004-04-27T18:56:19Z")
If I showed up in England with a scimitar that some moistened bint had lobbed at me, do you think they’d make me king? ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/73 "2004-04-27T19:33:17Z")
You must be a loony. ---
**Author:** ![Of\_Cabbages\_and\_Kings](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/49beb7/32.png) [@Of\_Cabbages\_and\_Kings](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Of_Cabbages_and_Kings)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/74 "2004-04-27T20:06:18Z")
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Our chief weapon is surprise…surprise and fear…our two weapons are fear and surprise…and ruthless efficiency. Our three weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope…Our four…no…amongst our weapons…amoungst our weaponry are such elements as fear, surprise…I’ll come in again (exit and exeunt) ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/75 "2004-04-27T21:22:09Z")
Brothers, brothers! We should be struggling together! ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/76 "2004-04-27T21:34:46Z")
Is your uh, is your wife interested in…photography, ay? ‘Photographs, ay?’, he asked him knowingly. ---
**Author:** ![YellowTail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/b5ac83/32.png) [@YellowTail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YellowTail)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/77 "2004-04-27T23:32:20Z")
Now stop it! I’ve noticed a tendancy for this thread becoming particularly silly. Now, nobody enjoys a good laugh more than I do. Except perhaps my wife. Oh, yes, and Capt. Gooding. Come to think of it, most people enjoy a good laugh more than I do. ---
**Author:** ![Kizarvexius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/da6949/32.png) [@Kizarvexius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kizarvexius)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2004, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/78 "2004-04-27T23:39:02Z")
The one in the braces. 'E done it. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/79 "2004-04-28T03:27:42Z")
Ni ---
**Author:** ![kalex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dfb087/32.png) [@kalex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kalex)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2004, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/80 "2004-04-28T04:00:43Z")
They mean to take Wimbleton! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823.md?page=5)