# A quickly needed Monty Python GQ **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [April 24, 2004, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823 "2004-04-24T18:22:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![WmBrent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f0a364/32.png) [@WmBrent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WmBrent)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/141 "2004-04-29T18:51:39Z")
. . . the not-to-soon to be released “Dead Parrott’s Society.” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/142 "2004-04-29T18:54:33Z")
Did anyone bring pie? :o ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/143 "2004-04-29T20:49:31Z")
> [@Runestar](#): > > Now then; the purpose of this year’s expedition is to try and find any trace of last year’s expedition. > The researchers spent six months living like penguins — and consequently dying like penguins, only quicker — proving that the penguin is a tough old sod in his own environment. These IQ. tests were thought to contain an unfair cultural bias against the penguin. For example, it didn’t take into account the penguins’ extremely poor educational system. To devise a fairer system of test, a team of our researchers spent eighteen months in Antarctica living like penguins, and subsequently dying like penguins - only quicker - proving that the penguin is a clever little sod in his own environment. ---
**Author:** ![PsychoSoma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/74df32/32.png) [@PsychoSoma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PsychoSoma)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/144 "2004-04-29T21:14:49Z")
> [@as\_u\_wish](#): > > I’ve always wanted to say “No one expects the Spamish Inquisition”…but that’s just silly. Noooooobody expects the Spammer’s Imposition! Our weapon is offshore servers. Offshore servers and feeble laws. Feeble laws and off… Our TWO weapons are feeble laws and offshore servers and fake headers. Our THREE weapons are feeble laws and offshore servers and fake headers and gullible horny lamers. …AMONGST our weapons are… Oh, I’ll come in again. (trottrottrottrottrottrotSLAM) ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/145 "2004-04-29T21:49:10Z")
What have the Romans ever done for us? ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2004, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/146 "2004-04-29T22:10:21Z")
Alma Cogan is dead. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Rieux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/aeb1de/32.png) [@Dr.Rieux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Rieux)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/147 "2004-04-30T00:27:14Z")
Mr William Shakespeare’s _Gay Boys in Bondage_." ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/148 "2004-04-30T00:43:18Z")
Constable Clitoris and I are from the hygiene squad. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/149 "2004-04-30T00:49:52Z")
Do you _waaaaaant_…do you _waaaant_ to go back to my place, bouncy bouncy? ---
**Author:** ![rockle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/73ab20/32.png) [@rockle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rockle)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/150 "2004-04-30T01:06:40Z")
Someday, son, all this will be yours. _What, the curtains?_ ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/151 "2004-04-30T01:20:09Z")
Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër ? ---
**Author:** ![Tenar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/35a633/32.png) [@Tenar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tenar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/152 "2004-04-30T03:16:59Z")
QUOTE=Quixotic]Intercourse the penguin! [/QUOTE] With a gamey leg? Tenar “Two Sheds” Johnsen ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/153 "2004-04-30T04:13:44Z")
Mi grandmøther shøt a møøse ønce. ---
**Author:** ![Warnas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b77776/32.png) [@Warnas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Warnas)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/154 "2004-04-30T09:59:41Z")
**We, on the other hand…** are the Knights who say: ‘Eki Eki Eki t’peng ZOO pong \ NI!’ You Must Bring Us… A SHRUBBERY!!! Damn, I’m really getting my money’s worth out of this subscription! ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 12:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/155 "2004-04-30T12:23:59Z")
Hello Mum, Hello Dad…There’s a dead bishop on the landing… ---
**Author:** ![GrizzRich](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/7ba0ec/32.png) [@GrizzRich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrizzRich)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/156 "2004-04-30T12:35:22Z")
I like traffic lights I like traffic lights I like traffic lights I like traffic lights I like traffic lights ---
**Author:** ![BwanaBob](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bwanabob/32/2985_2.png) [@BwanaBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BwanaBob)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/157 "2004-04-30T13:22:56Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Why is it that the world never remembered the name of Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern- schplenden- schlitter- crasscrenbon- fried- digger- dingle- dangle- dongle- dungle- burstein- von- knacker- thrasher- apple- banger- horowitz- ticolensic- grander- knotty- spelltinkle- grandlich- grumblemeyer- spelterwasser- kurstlich- himbleeisen- bahnwagen- gutenabend- bitte- ein- nürnburger- bratwustle- gerspurten- mitz- weimache- luber- hundsfut- gumberaber- shönedanker- kalbsfleisch- mittler- aucher von Hautkopft of Ulm? > > (I guarantee you that somewhere- probably on these very boards- is somebody who knows that full name without having to do a cut & paste, and I’ll wager kidneys to donuts that person has never had a date.) I am extremely insulted by your “guarantee”. Firstly, I can recite this name from memory. I taught it to myself in 1975 (in High School) by listening to audio tapes of the show. My own transcription turned out to be pretty damn accurate. And I taught it to my older brother. Both of us have had dates, are married, have children, are upright pillers of the community etc, etc. So you can take your kidneys to donuts wager and stick it where the sun doesn’t shine! ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/158 "2004-04-30T13:43:14Z")
> [@GrizzRich](#): > > I like traffic lights > I like traffic lights > I like traffic lights > I like traffic lights > I like traffic lights But only when they’re green ---
**Author:** ![av8rmike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/edb3f5/32.png) [@av8rmike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/av8rmike)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/159 "2004-04-30T14:16:13Z")
The goat’s done a bundle! ---
**Author:** ![Runestar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/74df32/32.png) [@Runestar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Runestar)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2004, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823/160 "2004-04-30T14:45:45Z")
My husband, like many men his age, is 50. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-quickly-needed-monty-python-gq/241823.md?page=9)