# A rant to the 'other' grandmother. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2016, 9:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142 "2016-11-16T09:03:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/21 "2016-11-17T16:17:15Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > We’re not talking about taking the kid for a couple of hours so mom can go bar-hopping. … This would be an improvement. ZPG Zealot – well said! I’d offer to shake your hand, but … 😛 ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/22 "2016-11-17T16:17:42Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > She’s living in her daughter’s house rent-free and is pissed because her daughter is selling it, so she’s acting like a spoiled child. She deserves all the outrage anyone wants to give her. She’s probably jealous of the kid, too. Maybe this is the daughter’s way of paying her mother back for the sacrifices the mother made during her childhood. While my own mother was a selfish bitch who made my childhood a living hell, I have always been willing to provide for her monetarily (though I will not have anything more to do with her) because it is a duty and responsibility owed. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/23 "2016-11-17T16:35:00Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Maybe this is the daughter’s way of paying her mother back for the sacrifices the mother made during her childhood. While my own mother was a selfish bitch who made my childhood a living hell, I have always been willing to provide for her monetarily (though I will not have anything more to do with her) because it is a duty and responsibility owed. Perhaps your mother was one of those people who didn’t like children either. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/24 "2016-11-17T16:52:07Z")
ZPG, you like to kill babies, so shut the fuck up. …Fuck it, I can’t do the rest. Just go away. You have nothing to offer. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/25 "2016-11-17T17:37:06Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > And I guess grandma should start supporting herself with her own resources, too, right??? Apparently she is by now. **kambuckta** says other grandma is living five minutes away, so she’s not living there anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Calatin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@Calatin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Calatin)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/26 "2016-11-17T17:56:12Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Perhaps your mother was one of those people who didn’t like children either. Can you blame her? ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/27 "2016-11-17T18:02:06Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > ZPG, you like to kill babies, so shut the fuck up. > > …Fuck it, I can’t do the rest. Just go away. You have nothing to offer. The realization that some people do not worship babies is always shocking to breeders. Civilization was created by adults not babies. ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/28 "2016-11-17T18:11:23Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > The realization that some people do not worship babies is always shocking to breeders. Civilization was created by adults not babies. The other grandmother is, by definition, a breeder. All adults were once babies. Some were raised right. Some, alas, were not. ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/29 "2016-11-17T18:15:49Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Which she should have adequately prepared for ahead of time in a manner that did not assume using another person for free child care. Some people don’t like babies. New parents need to get over it and realize that crying machines that spew bodily waste are not everyone idea of a good time. Thank you for rising out of the primordial ooze to rejoin us and contribute, my Troll Queen. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/30 "2016-11-17T18:20:56Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > Apparently she is by now. **kambuckta** says other grandma is living five minutes away, so she’s not living there anymore. I misread the OP. It looks like DIL owns the house her mother lives in, so _mea culpa_. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/31 "2016-11-17T18:27:55Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Civilization was created by adults not babies. And the adults sprang fully formed from the mud of the Nile. Man, you continue to impress with your stupidity. Your asshole schtick is consistent, I’ll give you that. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/32 "2016-11-17T18:30:21Z")
> [@Bridget\_Burke](#): > > The other grandmother is, by definition, a breeder. > > All adults were once babies. Some were raised right. Some, alas, were not. But becoming adults, not staying babies is what created human civilization. Breeder is usually reserved in childfree circles for those adults who view spewing babies (without any concept of responsibly raising them) as the end all and be all of human existence. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/33 "2016-11-17T18:35:50Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > And the adults sprang fully formed from the mud of the Nile. > > Man, you continue to impress with your stupidity. Your asshole schtick is consistent, I’ll give you that. Adults are raised by other responsible adults who know not to take on the burden of children without an adequate support net. Expecting relatives to provide free child care when living in a Western style nuclear family is not responsible. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/34 "2016-11-17T18:44:28Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > \*\*Which she should have adequately prepared for ahead of time in a manner that did not assume using another person for free child care. \*\*Some people don’t like babies. New parents need to get over it and realize that crying machines that spew bodily waste are not everyone idea of a good time. How do you know that she didn’t? The mother strikes me as the kind to withdraw from an offer of help because she was “insulted” (angry about losing her free ride). ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/35 "2016-11-17T18:45:52Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > But becoming adults, not staying babies is what created human civilization. Breeder is usually reserved in childfree circles for those adults who view spewing babies (without any concept of responsibly raising them) as the end all and be all of human existence. So tell me, how do babies avoid growing into adults? > [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Adults are raised by other responsible adults who know not to take on the burden of children without an adequate support net. Expecting relatives to provide free child care when living in a Western style nuclear family is not responsible. Aren’t close relatives, particularly grandparents, part of an adequate support net? Damn, **ZPG Zealot** , you’re some fucking piece of work. ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/36 "2016-11-17T18:47:25Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Adults are raised by other responsible adults who know not to take on the burden of children without an adequate support net. Expecting relatives to provide free child care when living in a Western style nuclear family is not responsible. But the mom in the OP had an adequate support net. She was managing. Had no grandmother come over, she would have been fine–just miserable. No one would have died, no irreparable harm would have been done. She didn’t require help. She didn’t even ask for it. It was just appreciated when it came. The OP is upset that a mother has ignored her daughter’s suffering even when she had the means to help. ---
**Author:** ![Helena330](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/helena330/32/531_2.png) [@Helena330](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helena330)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/37 "2016-11-17T18:50:53Z")
And… **kambuckta** ’s vent thread goes all to hell. ---
**Author:** ![Whiskey\_Dickens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/9fc348/32.png) [@Whiskey\_Dickens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whiskey_Dickens)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/38 "2016-11-17T19:03:10Z")
Gather 'round and marvel at the full-grown child, railing against actual children for having the audacity to exist. It ain’t a party till **ZPG** shows up spewing garbage! _Now_ we has ourselves a Pit thread related to children. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/39 "2016-11-17T19:04:03Z")
> [@cochrane](#): > > So tell me, how do babies avoid growing into adults? Physical maturity is not the same as mental and emotionally maturity. I lot of people grow up physicially to the point where they can biologically produce a baby, but lack the mental maturity to understand that they have to be responsible. > [@cochrane](#): > > Aren’t close relatives, particularly grandparents, part of an adequate support net? > > Damn, **ZPG Zealot** , you’re some fucking piece of work. Close relatives, particularly grandparents, can be part of an adequate support net, if they have agreed to be that support network ahead of time. Assuming they are going to be the support network is wrong however. It’s the difference between volunteering and being conscripted. ---
**Author:** ![ZPG\_Zealot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e47c2d/32.png) [@ZPG\_Zealot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZPG_Zealot)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142/40 "2016-11-17T19:07:33Z")
> [@Helena330](#): > > How do you know that she didn’t? The mother strikes me as the kind to withdraw from an offer of help because she was “insulted” (angry about losing her free ride). If the offer of a free house was made in exchange for help with child care the grandmother damn well should feel insulted and withdraw any offer for help. The daughter strikes me as the type of new mother that thinks everyone should tailor their lives to supporting her reproductive choices. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-rant-to-the-other-grandmother/772142.md?page=3)