# A real-life handicap-parking story
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [June 23, 2011, 3:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524 "2011-06-23T03:28:31Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 5
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/81 "2011-06-23T19:37:26Z")
> [@Meyer6](#):
>
> This is exactly what I thought when I read the OP. This guy has proved to have a pretty abrasive manner in his posts here, and I’m guessing he’s a bit like tbat in real life too. I find it very hard to believe that this is the first time he’s made waves at this gym, and they’re probably just done with dealing with him. Given that this is a gym attached to a hospital and apparently specializing in accessible equipment, I really doubt he was kicked out due to some kind of specific discrimination against the handicapped.
>
> Even if you feel that you’re fighting the good fight, deliberately being an asshole is not often a good way to get people over to your side. The squeeky wheel gets the grease, but the _squeekiest_ wheel gets replaced.
I am really sorry you see it that way, but i was in NO way deliberately being an asshole. Not in the slightest, most remote way.
---
### Author:  [@Steophan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steophan)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/82 "2011-06-23T19:39:15Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#):
>
> I am really sorry you see it that way, but i was in NO way deliberately being an asshole. Not in the slightest, most remote way.
So you accidentally parked blocking that guys car in? Lying, sanctimonious deliberate arsehole.
---
### Author:  [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/83 "2011-06-23T19:39:52Z")
It’s funny, a couple of years ago handicap parking vigilantes were all in the news about how out of control they were, to the point that people without visibly obvious disabilities were getting harassed. Going from the last couple of threads here, it seems that’s completely out and people are taking the spots illegally with abandon. Strange.
---
### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/84 "2011-06-23T19:40:27Z")
First of all, let’s not miss the irony of someone going to a gym and being so lazy he has to park in the handicap spot rather than out in the lot which might cause him to walk another, oh, 30 feet. Now that’s out of the way:
[QUOTE=article]
there were at least five other handicapped spots open
[/QUOTE]
Blocking and confronting was a dick move. Doesn’t sound like the walking dude was about to directly inconvenience someone who needed the parking spot as much as he just wandered into somebody’s crusade. So he was a thoughtless dick, big deal. People offend me all the time and I let it go, I’m pretty sure people are cutting me the same slack more often than I realize.
---
### Author:  [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/85 "2011-06-23T19:47:07Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#):
>
> First of all, I’m only “abrasive” in response to the posts that are snide or attacking in nature.
You are _absolutely_ on the wrong message board, then. There is active competition to be snide and abrasive in clever ways on this board, kind of a natural selection process for smart-asses. So I suggest you either get used to being reflexively abrasive _all the time_, learn to shrug it off, or learn to fight back.
> [@](#):
>
> When I say “there is more to this story”, it does not include other incidences where my behavior has been called into question.
I’ll hazard a guess that were you to describe some of these incidents, your behaviour would definitely (if not immediately) be called into question. After all, we’d only be hearing your side of the story, so it’s fair to question that side.
> [@](#):
>
> I had been a member at this gym for a decade. The manager, who was responsible for both the exercise “banning” and the gym-membership cancelling, had only been in that position for about a year (if that). I had been performing the exercise in question for years up to the point it was arbitrarily taken from me.
I’d suggest you write up a letter for the manager’s supervisor describing your situation and why this particular exercise at this particular gym is beneficial to you along with expressing the clear desire to maintain a friendly professional relationship with the gym and no desire to cause further difficulties, with no finger-pointing to the gym or this manager. I know it sucks and all to have to promise to be on your best behaviour, but the gym is under no obligation, moral or contractual, to indirectly facilitate a parking-lot crusade.
---
### Author:  [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/86 "2011-06-23T20:07:57Z")
You sound like a giant pain in the ass. No doubt the gym wanted to get rid of you and used this as the final straw.
---
### Author:  [@Uber\_the\_Goober](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uber_the_Goober)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/87 "2011-06-23T20:46:48Z")
I gotta tell you, in this and the other thread about airplanes, \*\*jamiemcgarry \*\*comes across as an arrogant fucktard with some serious entitlement issues. You seem like the kind of guy who would bring an uzi to a knife fight, knowing it was a knife fight.
Look man, it sucks balls that you’re paralyzed. But that doesn’t give you license to be a dickbag to everybody else, or to assume you’re owed anything. _What you’re owed can’t be given back to you_. Everybody deals with situations that aren’t ideal, that go against the way society set them up to be, and we move on. How long are you gonna spend being pissy about this stuff? Do you also scream at God every night?
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/88 "2011-06-23T20:54:32Z")
> [@echo6160](#):
>
> I gotta tell you, in this and the other thread about airplanes, \*\*jamiemcgarry \*\*comes across as an arrogant fucktard with some serious entitlement issues. You seem like the kind of guy who would bring an uzi to a knife fight, knowing it was a knife fight.
>
> Look man, it sucks balls that you’re paralyzed. But that doesn’t give you license to be a dickbag to everybody else, or to assume you’re owed anything. _What you’re owed can’t be given back to you_. Everybody deals with situations that aren’t ideal, that go against the way society set them up to be, and we move on. How long are you gonna spend being pissy about this stuff? Do you also scream at God every night?
What is it that you think I feel I am owed?
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/89 "2011-06-23T20:55:36Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#):
>
> You sound like a giant pain in the ass. No doubt the gym wanted to get rid of you and used this as the final straw.
You sound like a clueless dipshit.
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/90 "2011-06-23T20:59:59Z")
> [@Steophan](#):
>
> So you accidentally parked blocking that guys car in? Lying, sanctimonious deliberate arsehole.
Noooooo,:smack: I deliberately PARKED behind him, I didnt do it to be an ASSHOLE though. I know it’s probably difficult for you to discern btwn the two concepts but try to bear with me. I parked behind him so that the authorities could do their job. If I had merely done it to be an asshole, I would have just parked there. Taunting him.
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/91 "2011-06-23T21:02:21Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> You are _absolutely_ on the wrong message board, then. There is active competition to be snide and abrasive in clever ways on this board, kind of a natural selection process for smart-asses. So I suggest you either get used to being reflexively abrasive _all the time_, learn to shrug it off, or learn to fight back.
>
> I’ll hazard a guess that were you to describe some of these incidents, your behaviour would definitely (if not immediately) be called into question. After all, we’d only be hearing your side of the story, so it’s fair to question that side.
>
> I’d suggest you write up a letter for the manager’s supervisor describing your situation and why this particular exercise at this particular gym is beneficial to you along with expressing the clear desire to maintain a friendly professional relationship with the gym and no desire to cause further difficulties, with no finger-pointing to the gym or this manager. I know it sucks and all to have to promise to be on your best behaviour, but the gym is under no obligation, moral or contractual, to indirectly facilitate a parking-lot crusade.
I’m simply going to ignore all further posts from you. There is nothing to be gained whatsoever from any interaction with you. Goodday.
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/92 "2011-06-23T21:06:48Z")
> [@Inigo\_Montoya](#):
>
> First of all, let’s not miss the irony of someone going to a gym and being so lazy he has to park in the handicap spot rather than out in the lot which might cause him to walk another, oh, 30 feet. Now that’s out of the way:
> Blocking and confronting was a dick move. Doesn’t sound like the walking dude was about to directly inconvenience someone who needed the parking spot as much as he just wandered into somebody’s crusade. So he was a thoughtless dick, big deal. People offend me all the time and I let it go, I’m pretty sure people are cutting me the same slack more often than I realize.
I didn’t “block and confront” him. I blocked him in and went straight inside the building. I didnt do any sort of confronting. And PLEASE, I was polite and courteous well into the exchange. It was HIM that got belligerent. “Are you fucking security?” I started the exchange genuinely not knowing if he was indeed a handicapped individual or someone who didn’t realize where he had parked his car, these things can happen. “Wandered into someone’s crusade”. Wow.
---
### Author:  [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/93 "2011-06-23T21:08:18Z")
> [@Bryan\_Ekers](#):
>
> You are _absolutely_ on the wrong message board, then. There is active competition to be snide and abrasive in clever ways on this board, kind of a natural selection process for smart-asses. So I suggest you either get used to being reflexively abrasive _all the time_, learn to shrug it off, or learn to fight back.
>
> I’ll hazard a guess that were you to describe some of these incidents, your behaviour would definitely (if not immediately) be called into question. After all, we’d only be hearing your side of the story, so it’s fair to question that side.
>
> I’d suggest you write up a letter for the manager’s supervisor describing your situation and why this particular exercise at this particular gym is beneficial to you along with expressing the clear desire to maintain a friendly professional relationship with the gym and no desire to cause further difficulties, with no finger-pointing to the gym or this manager. I know it sucks and all to have to promise to be on your best behaviour, but the gym is under no obligation, moral or contractual, to indirectly facilitate a parking-lot crusade.
You are failing MISERABLY on the “clever” part.
---
### Author:  [@Mr.Greenjeans](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Greenjeans)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/94 "2011-06-23T21:33:00Z")
Despite a pretty overwhelming response both here and in your airline thread, you seem to not want to entertain the notion that you may be wrong here and that perhaps you are (as best stated by Living Well Is Best Revenge) a “giant pain in the ass.”
Maybe we should try it this way: Everything you say is true. You’re right. The other driver is wrong. The gym is wrong. The cops are wrong. The airline is wrong. Everyone here is wrong. And so on and so on.
Is that what you’re after?
ETA: The other driver _is_ wrong. That still doesn’t justify your actions.
---
### Author:  [@srzss05](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/srzss05)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/95 "2011-06-23T21:35:35Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#):
>
> You are failing MISERABLY on the “clever” part.
I thought you were ignoring him.
---
### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/96 "2011-06-23T21:49:39Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#):
>
> You are failing MISERABLY on the “clever” part.
And you are failing MISERABLY on the “ignoring” part.
---
### Author:  [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/97 "2011-06-23T22:23:09Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#):
>
> Some police departments train and deputize volunteers who then have the legal authority to issue tickets. If the OP had that authority then it would be reasonable for him to park behind a car he was ticketing. In a ‘citizen’s arrest’ kind of sense I’m not sure it was so terribly wrong even not having that explicit authority.
If that were the case, he would have that authority while ticketing the vehicle. He would not have that authority to block a traffic lane hwile he goes on a hunt for the person he’s chosen to be angry at.
> [@](#):
>
> But he’s not charged with a crime for carrying out vigilante justice, the big issue is over a private gym membership. They probably reserve their option to cancel at any time, for no reason at all. It might be a better use of time and effort to lobby the local police department to start up a volunteer ticketer program than trying to fight the gym.
Yeppers. He was rightly seen as a liability to the business. The business owner chose to terminate his membership because it’s simply not a good idea to have someone looking to start fights on gym property.
---
### Author:  [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/98 "2011-06-23T22:34:34Z")
> [@jamiemcgarry](#):
>
> I didn’t “block and confront” him. I blocked him in and went straight inside the building. I didnt do any sort of confronting. And PLEASE, I was polite and courteous well into the exchange. It was HIM that got belligerent. “Are you fucking security?” I started the exchange genuinely not knowing if he was indeed a handicapped individual or someone who didn’t realize where he had parked his car, these things can happen. “Wandered into someone’s crusade”. Wow.
Look, I don’t think you’re stupid or socially inept. I think you know, as any normal person would, as even I would, that you wouldn’t have addressed the dude if you didn’t strongly suspect he wasn’t entitled to the parking spot.
Therefore, you addressed him because you reckoned he wasn’t. In addressing him with the assumption he was being a douche (which he was, I’m with you on that) you allowed one of two scenarios to play out: you were about to learn of his not-readily-identifiable disability, or you were going to put him on the defensive. Do you really not know how powerful a wheelchair can be in a situation like that? You called his hand and didn’t leave him an out. One of you was going to HAVE to back down. If that’s not confrontational I don’t know what is.
You had the opportunity to be the bigger man: “Dude, disabled parking is for disabled folks, like me, so we don’t have to deal with being vulnerable in parking lots. Reconsider you parking space next time.” and move on. Instead, you chose to start a pissing contest without leaving an escape for your adversary.
I don’t know what his thought process would have been had you let him off with a mild sermon, maybe he’d rethink things and start behaving more thoughtfully toward the disabled, maybe not. But the path you chose more than likely sent him on his way thinking of you as a dickeaded cripple. Whom does _that_ serve?
And yeah, “Wandered into someone’s crusade.” He’s not in a chair, it’s not part of his daily life, it’s not on his mind. To the extent of “But it’s clearly marked” how unreasonable is it, really, for him to note, yeah, it’s clearly marked, but so are another 5 vacant spaces and I’m only gonna be a minute." You were being pretty sensitive and intolerant–a crusader for a cause YOU understand too well, but that few others do.
---
### Author:  [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/99 "2011-06-23T22:36:18Z")
**Jamie** , most of the posters on the Dope are with you regarding able bodied people abusing handicap parking spaces (even those you are ignoring), but you need to come correct regarding your reaction to it when it’s in your face. We understand your outrage, even some of us who are disabled feel and have expressed it here many years before you. This is the place to vent your outrage…most Dopers here liken it to their own therapy session for the low price of free. Everyone here hopes the offender gets his karma back in spades for all of the annoyances and wrongs done on us or the rest of humanity.
But there is one thing you shouldn’t do…don’t be a jerk.
We (who take the Dope seriously) know this rule and try to live it and abide by it here on the board and in real life. At times, we may have disagreements on what constitutes a jerk, but I believe most of us knows what’s a jerk move and what’s not…and your response to the offender is almost unanimously jerkish among the Dopers.
I believed you pissed away all of your power when you parked behind the offender’s vehicle, EVEN if it was to buy time for security to show up to see the infraction firsthand. Others have stated it as a dick move. Their choice of words may be harsh when it’s pointed to a new poster such as yourself, but you have to understand that we’ve seen and heard of many other instances like this over the years and some posters here will not always be eloquent with their responses to your personal situation, they would rather be blunt and to the point…kind of like “house rules” to someone who is just visiting or new to the house. You’ll get used to it if your gonna stay beyond your first batch of OPs.
As for getting back into your original gym…approach them with some humility rather than with a disability. Own your part in the situation that you took part in, and humbly ask for your gym privileges back (membership is a privilege after all, not a right) after you apologize for your behavior and promise them that you won’t pull that stunt again. Tell them that you will do nothing more than to report it to security or call the police yourself. Also assure them that you will not confront anyone else regarding the handicap spaces. A reasonable manager would allow a reasonable and humble patron back into the fold if they are truly sorry for their part in the situation.
Good luck.
---
### Author:  [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)
#### Post date: [June 23, 2011, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524/100 "2011-06-23T22:37:29Z")
> [@CarnalK](#):
>
> So you’re saying that in general the SDMB is hypocritical but you can’t think of any specific poster. Interesting stance.
Oh, I can.
> [@BobLibDem](#):
>
> There’s a difference between protesting a state government attempt to destroy unions and whining “WAAAAAAAHHHHH! Someone parked in a handicapped spot! That only leaves me four to choose from! WAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!”
[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524.md?page=4)
[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-real-life-handicap-parking-story/586524.md?page=6)