# A Really Pathetic Attempt to See Me Naked
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 13, 2008, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389 "2008-09-13T02:58:00Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Merhouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merhouse)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2008, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/21 "2008-09-13T22:53:48Z")
[QUOTE=Green Bean]
The point is that there are many real women out there that he could talk to who would willingly share a nude photo etc. It wasn’t more valuable because it was from me. It was more valuable because by getting one, he would have had to put one over on me. And some people like to do that.
[/QUOTE]
Hey, he was just hoping you weren’t going to send him another picture of Pamela Anderson. He already has 55 of them 😃
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### Author:  [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2008, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/22 "2008-09-14T00:45:23Z")
> [@Cat\_Fight](#):
>
> What does his reply even _mean_? ‘Honest’? ‘Just me’? Does he need a second person to lift his gut and expose his junk while another snaps a pic?
I was wondering that too. Punctuation would have helped. Did he mean “I don’t have one, that’s honest!” (I honestly don’t have a nude photo of myself) or “I don’t have one that’s honest” (I don’t have a nude photo that accurately portrays my appearance). I personally read it as the guy trying to weasel out because his own nekkid pics are unflattering, but who knows.
I took “It’s just me” to mean “It’s just me who’ll be seeing your nudie picture”, although you may be right that he was claiming he _couldn’t_ get a good nude photo without another person to take it for him.
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### Author:  [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2008, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/23 "2008-09-14T15:18:23Z")
[Quote=dba Fred]
I also see it as a nude photo from you would be more “valuable” to him than just some random Internet photo as you are a real person (you are, aren’t you?). In addition to the potential to actually meet you. “I talked her into step 1, I talked her into step 2 … and penis ensued.”
[/QUOTE]
**Green Bean’s** reply:
> [@](#):
>
> The point is that there are many real women out there that he could talk to who would willingly share a nude photo etc. It wasn’t more valuable because it was from me. It was more valuable because by getting one, he would have had to put one over on me. And some people like to do that.
(I apologize for not being able to properly parse quotes within a post)
Okay, you’re probably righter than I :smack: , I guess we were approaching the scenario from different directions. I can sorta see how he was trying to put one over on you/a dominance angle; being a woman you’re seen that/dealt with that before. I was trying to put my logical, rational, non-game playing self (that’s how I see me and try to be) into the situation and come up with a way it would make sense to me.
I’m also naive because I’ve never located (nor looked for) places where “… there are many real women out there that he could talk to who would willingly share a nude photo ect.” And I’m not looking for a cite 🙂
I’ll end this by saying I hope you have better luck with representatives of my gender but it looks like you can take care of yourself.
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2008, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/24 "2008-09-14T20:43:36Z")
**Cat Fight** and **Lamia** : I’ve pondered that line too. The best thing I can come up with was that he was at a temporary loss for words, so he just vomited out a bunch of stock phrases that had been useful to him in the past.
> [@dba\_Fred](#):
>
> Okay, you’re probably righter than I :smack: , I guess we were approaching the scenario from different directions. I can sorta see how he was trying to put one over on you/a dominance angle; being a woman you’re seen that/dealt with that before. I was trying to put my logical, rational, non-game playing self (that’s how I see me and try to be) into the situation and come up with a way it would make sense to me.
Well, you’ve inadvertently summarized exactly what I find so annoying about these types of situtions. I’m also a “logical, rational, non-game playing” person, and so this kind of behavior makes no sense at all to me. And that can be frustrating. I mean, this particular guy was such an obvious game-player (and his goal was so obvious) that the whole thing is just funny.
But I’ve spent a good bit of time talking to other guys only to realize that they were playing games, too. For example, in a few cases, I’ve realized after a while that the guy had no intention of ever actually meeting, but really liked to receive my attention online and/or on the phone. Maybe they were secretly married and just wanted a “mental affair” or something. But if that’s what they wanted, why were they bothering with me? Why didn’t they find some woman who also had no intention of ever actually meeting? Then they could happily enjoy their imaginary sex life, leaving people like me free to enjoy a real one.
> [@](#):
>
> I’m also naive because I’ve never located (nor looked for) places where “… there are many real women out there that he could talk to who would willingly share a nude photo ect.” And I’m not looking for a cite 🙂
But you’ll be checking your PM box every five minutes hoping to get one, right? 😛
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### Author:  [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/25 "2008-09-14T23:09:48Z")
You could have sent him a naked picture of somebody else with your head photoshopped onto it.
It’s a terrible idea but think of the fun possibilities.
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 12:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/26 "2008-09-15T00:20:38Z")
Ha ha! Good idea! But would it be better if I sent him my face pasted onto the body of Heidi Klum or Divine?
Would you believe that some guy sent me a couple of pics of himself, except that the pictures were of Chris Noth? :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/27 "2008-09-15T00:28:06Z")
Dunno if it’s just me, but the bloke seems a bit sociopathic or something - as if you exist as an object that functions to provide a nude photograph, but you’re malfunctioning in that role and need to be coerced to do your job. Creepy, IMO. More creepy than some more overt approaches would be.
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### Author:  [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 12:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/28 "2008-09-15T00:58:09Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> But I’ve spent a good bit of time talking to other guys only to realize that they were playing games, too. For example, in a few cases, I’ve realized after a while that the guy had no intention of ever actually meeting, but really liked to receive my attention online and/or on the phone. Maybe they were secretly married and just wanted a “mental affair” or something. But if that’s what they wanted, why were they bothering with me? Why didn’t they find some woman who also had no intention of ever actually meeting? Then they could happily enjoy their imaginary sex life, leaving people like me free to enjoy a real one.
>
> The problem is they found out you’re _too much woman_ for them Babe, what you deserve is a real man, someone like me (only better) 😉
> Some of your disappointers may have been playing games from the get-go, some may have not known what they were getting into.
> Trying to understand/figure out “why” people behave the way they do can be fun but often ends up making my head hurt.
> I always liked the explanations “Never attribute to malice that which can adequately be explained by stupidity.” and “People are just no darn good, except for you & me and sometimes I wonder about you.”
>
> But you’ll be checking your PM box every five minutes hoping to get one, right? 😛
[☹ Drat, she’s onto my evil plan, shift gears] (practices innocent expressions) I’m new here, what is this PM box of which you speak? You seem like a nice person, perhaps you could hold my hand and walk me through it. Why yes, I guess you would have to send me something to illustrate how it works, hmm, what could that be? You know what would be nice? I wouldn’t ask this of just anyone but you’re special and you know I respect you …
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### Author:  [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/29 "2008-09-15T01:02:57Z")
> [@Autolycus](#):
>
> You could have sent him a naked picture of somebody else with your head photoshopped onto it.
> It’s a terrible idea but think of the fun possibilities.
Or more fun, send a blank email then follow it up with another asking “Did you like what you saw?”
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/30 "2008-09-15T02:31:12Z")
> [@Mangetout](#):
>
> Dunno if it’s just me, but the bloke seems a bit sociopathic or something - as if you exist as an object that functions to provide a nude photograph, but you’re malfunctioning in that role and need to be coerced to do your job. Creepy, IMO. More creepy than some more overt approaches would be.
I don’t find overt approached creepy, actually. A little misguided perhaps, but not creepy. At least they’re dealing with me on the level.
I do like the idea of myself as a naked-photo dispensing robot… (Oh great, I just imagined what Rosie the Maid on the Jetsons would look like without her little apron on!)
**dba Fred** : I think you have to be a paying member to use PMs. I did get the message you sent me before, but the board won’t let me respond for some reason! (And just for the record–he sent me a message BEFORE I started this thread about something unrelated. Just don’t want you guys to think he’s a perv. Well, he may well be a perv, in which case he’ll fit in great here, but I have no evidence of perviness other than what has been publically posted on this board. If anybody DOES have evidence that he’s a perv, please forward it to me. I like pervs. Just not creepy and manipulative ones.)
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### Author:  [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/31 "2008-09-15T03:36:59Z")
think about it.
All the guy wants is some sexual something, almost anything.
And you are one of many for whom this request is a stand alone deal breaker.
Don’t let yourself be fooled, he gets lots of pictures. Lots and lots. From folks who put his name on lists that get him lots more pictures. He is a pathetic looser. First request for pictures, even ordinary pictures is a telltale. The attempt to change you mind is the clincher.
There is only one response for this guy, No response at all.
Tris
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/32 "2008-09-15T03:53:15Z")
**Tris** –while I agree most of your post, I don’t get why a request for “ordinary pictures” is a “telltale.”
As it happens, I have enough pictures up for someone to get a pretty accurate idea of what I look like. But not everybody does. I don’t bother to talk with someone who has no pictures up, but if if a guy does have a pic up but I feel like I need to see more to judge whether he meets my minimum standard of non-hideousness, I’ll ask for more pictures. What’s wrong with that?
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/33 "2008-09-15T08:32:13Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> I don’t find overt approached creepy, actually. A little misguided perhaps, but not creepy. At least they’re dealing with me on the level.
Dunno - I just think this roundabout-guilt-manipulation thing is creepier than if he’d just banged on an on about really wanting to see you naked - it just seems a bit calculated.
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### Author:  [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/34 "2008-09-15T10:55:57Z")
[quote=“Green\_Bean, post:30, topic:463389”]
I do like the idea of myself as a naked-photo dispensing robot… (Oh great, I just imagined what Rosie the Maid on the Jetsons would look like without her little apron on!)
If I claimed I had Photoshop skills and could morph you into a naked **Green Bean** the Robot, would you send me photos to work with???
Sadly, I can’t lie, I don’t have Photoshop skills; if I did I’d be all over the net as a tall blond surfer stud.
More importantly, what was Rosie’s operating system? Windows or OS X or Linux or Unix? USB-1 or USB-2 or Firewire or serial or PS-2 ports?
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### Author:  [@dba\_Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dba_Fred)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 11:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/35 "2008-09-15T11:06:12Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> **dba Fred** : I think you have to be a paying member to use PMs. I did get the message you sent me before, but the board won’t let me respond for some reason! (And just for the record–he sent me a message BEFORE I started this thread about something unrelated. Just don’t want you guys to think he’s a perv. Well, he may well be a perv, in which case he’ll fit in great here, but I have no evidence of perviness other than what has been publically posted on this board. If anybody DOES have evidence that he’s a perv, please forward it to me. I like pervs. Just not creepy and manipulative ones.)
Should I try to clarify this for the audience? I had made a silly remark (… _I also never get the girl in the end_.)
in the _Does anyone sorta still wish the SDMB was P2P?_ thread, **Green Bean** posted quoting my remark and said _Er…how you doin_? Being curious (and flattered?) I clicked on the link to her profile, not realizing my viewing was logged and she could see I had stopped by. When I saw I would show up as a viewer, so as she wouldn’t think I was some weirdo stalker, I left a Visitor Message (not a PM) on her Profile page (I believe it was something like
“Re: Er…how you doin? How am I doing **what**?”)
I think I thank you, **Green Bean** , for casting ambiguity about my perviness. It’s probably best that folks find out whether I am a perv or the extent of my perviness on their own (sorta like opening that odd-shaped package under the Christmas tree, it could be socks from Grandma or that neat-o 1920s-style death ray). Then again, considering your respect and stature on this board, I would, **Green Bean** , be honored and humbled by a positive endorsement from you (can I bribe one out of you? It doesn’t have to be much, a simple “he may be an amateur perv but he’s not creepy or manipulative” would suffice).
**Green Bean** , for forwarding to you purposes, what would constitute evidence that I’m a perv? There are no police files or court records and I don’t know that I could get an affidavit from any ex-partners. The 17 year old waitress at the coffee shop I asked tonight didn’t think I was a perv but she really doesn’t count since even if I was a perv, I’d have some standards. Even if I’m not now a perv, I am trainable, according to an former girlfriend (but apparently not trainable enough for her or she wouldn’t be a former [I don’t recall her trying to train me to be a perv or pervier]).
Should I consider changing my UserName? I’m thinking either:
**Perhaps a Perv or Maybe Not** or **Yes Ladies, He’s Still Single**
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### Author:  [@Influential\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Influential_Panda)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/36 "2008-09-15T13:35:39Z")
Whoah dang, lookit that post above me. Man, what a perv.
😛
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### Author:  [@Triskadecamus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Triskadecamus)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/37 "2008-09-15T15:15:08Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> I feel like I need to see more to judge whether he meets my minimum standard of non-hideousness, I’ll ask for more pictures. What’s wrong with that?
Well, it is hard on those of us who are hideous, but, that’s just your personal groove in cyberspace. He has his.
In the one place in our world where conduct can overwhelm class, coolness, race, religion, and trivialities, it always feels sad to me when people try to see through the veil. I always find it sad when people mention baggage which, for perhaps the first time in their lives they could actually not carry.
Tris
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### Author:  [@Arglefraster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arglefraster)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/38 "2008-09-15T16:49:44Z")
> [@Green\_Bean](#):
>
> It’s funny…I related the story of this guy to a very wise friend of mine. She posited that he was attempting to establish dominance by getting me to do something that I had said that I did not want to do.
I had a guy do exactly this to me a while back. We met on a dating site and started chatting in IM. I made it very clear what I was and wasn’t ok with. He was willing to go along with it at first. Then he started trying to manipulate me into doing things I wasn’t comfortable with (topless pics, cybersex, coming over to his place without meeting in public first). It slowly dawned on me that he was going down my list of “Don’ts”, in order even. I called him on it, and he said he was trying to “push my boundries” and that he wasn’t interested in being with someone who wasn’t willing to experiment outside of her “comfort zone”. :rolleyes:
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### Author:  [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/39 "2008-09-15T17:56:56Z")
**dba Fred** , I think I like you. You big ol’ perv. 😃
**Arglefraster** , that would scare me a little bit. I would think about changing my email address and stuff after encountering someone that bent (not saying you should, but that is really off).
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### Author:  [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-really-pathetic-attempt-to-see-me-naked/463389/40 "2008-09-16T01:02:14Z")
**Arglefraster** –Thanks. Nice to know that someone else has been there. (Well, I’m sure a lot of people have, but it’s nice to have in the thread.)
> [@dba\_Fred](#):
>
> Then again, considering your respect and stature on this board, I would, **Green Bean** , be honored and humbled by a positive endorsement from you…
Respect and stature? Moi? I doubt it. And I just blew any respect I may have had by posting a thread that could easily be construed as just a pathetic attempt at getting people to think about me naked. 😛
> [@Triskadecamus](#):
>
> Well, it is hard on those of us who are hideous, but, that’s just your personal groove in cyberspace. He has his.
>
> In the one place in our world where conduct can overwhelm class, coolness, race, religion, and trivialities, it always feels sad to me when people try to see through the veil. I always find it sad when people mention baggage which, for perhaps the first time in their lives they could actually not carry.
I agree with you about the internet being cool that way, but we’re not talking about online-only relationships. We’re talking about chatting on the internet with the express purpose of determining whether we’d want to meet in person. So on the SDMB, it totally doesn’t matter if you look like the bride of Cthulhu. I still want to hear what you have to say. But if I’m going to go out on a date with you, it does matter.
And you’re totally not hideous. I’ve seen your picture. (You were fishing for compliments, weren’t you? You manipulative boy, you!)
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