# A remake of The Magnificent Seven **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 4, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094 "2010-08-04T02:41:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/1 "2010-08-04T02:41:57Z")
I see there was [a thread about recasting the remake](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=511532) about a year ago. But seeing all the trailers for _The Expendables_ has got me thinking about a remake again. One film that come to mind is _Tears of the Sun_, a Bruce Willis flick a few years back. It was very close to the same story line, but the good guys were a Navy Seal team instead of independent mercearies, and there was no conscious attempt to recapture the essence of TM7. At the other end of the spectrum as far as tone goes, I guess the best example is the remake of _The A Team_, that is if you think it should be a fun serio-comic adventure rather than a dark somber film. Does it need to be set in the 19th century West? It could be a modern day adventure, which opens up while new vistas of technology and firepower. Maybe one of the guys could be an attack helicopter pilot? Present day technology means you could also dramatically up the number of bad guys to hundreds or even thousands. The problem with that is – who are the ‘villagers’ that hire our heroes? Somehow a government needs to be involved, at least as far as providing the weapons. Claymore mones and gattling guns and aircraft are expensive? I suppose you could go for a comic relief ‘survivalist’ character, who has a massive and private weapons cache that he opens up for the project. And hey, you can take your shot at re-casting as well. In fact, I’ll start with two recastings, one for a serious remake and one for a serio-comic remake. The ‘serious’ cast: Yul Brynner = Bruce Willis Steve McQueen = Matt Damon Charles Bronson = Russell Crowe James Coburn = Brad Pitt Robert Vaughn = Tom Cruise Brad Dexter = Nicholas Cage Horst Buchholz = Jude Law Eli Wallach = Javier Bardem The serio-comic version cast: Yul Brynner = Bruce Willis (I think he could handle funny too) Steve McQueen = George Clooney Charles Bronson = Ahnold the Governator James Coburn = Tom Hanks Robert Vaughn = Danny McBride Brad Dexter = Jack Black Horst Buchholz = Michael Cera Eli Wallach = Oliver Platt I also wanted to make a comment on the a post by **Zeldar** in the previous thread suggesting that the good guy roles could be re-cast as all gorgeous women. I kinda like the idea, but we would have to rename it as _The Magnificent 14_. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Reno\_Nevada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Reno\_Nevada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reno_Nevada)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/2 "2010-08-04T14:32:32Z")
Wait, I’ve got a better idea…set the movie in _ancient Japan._ The gunfighters become **samurai swordsmen.** Japan is cool, samurai are cool, what could go wrong. Cast genuine Japanese actors, of course. Hire a \*really \*good director. Film it in black&white for the arthouse cred. That or the 7 gorgeous women idea. I like that too. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/3 "2010-08-04T14:41:08Z")
Oooh, make it about a bunch of bugs, instead of humans. Let’s throw in a case of mistaken identity and a lovable misfit, too. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/4 "2010-08-04T14:46:00Z")
If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire… ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/5 "2010-08-04T15:11:08Z")
[quote=“Reno\_Nevada, post:2, topic:549094”] Wait, I’ve got a better idea…set the movie in _ancient Japan._ The gunfighters become **samurai swordsmen.** Japan is cool, samurai are cool, what could go wrong. Cast genuine Japanese actors, of course. Hire a \*really \*good director. Film it in black&white for the arthouse cred. …QUOTE] I thought the OP said only 5 heroes? ---
**Author:** ![lexi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lexi/32/6806_2.png) [@lexi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lexi)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/6 "2010-08-04T15:13:17Z")
> [@Reno\_Nevada](#): > > Wait, I’ve got a better idea…set the movie in _ancient Japan._ The gunfighters become **samurai swordsmen.** Japan is cool, samurai are cool, what could go wrong. Cast genuine Japanese actors, of course. Hire a \*really \*good director. Film it in black&white for the arthouse cred. I came here to say this… ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/7 "2010-08-04T16:15:32Z")
Perhaps you could change the premise: you have a helicopter with crew that has to ditch near a village. But if I were to remake it, I’d do it swords-and-sorcery style with big budget SFX. Adventurers versus monsters. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/8 "2010-08-04T17:15:25Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > …Adventurers versus monsters. You mean like, “This is a game preserve. We are the game.”? ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/9 "2010-08-04T17:17:54Z")
First off: Thanks for reviving the idea, and for the kind words on the old thread. And now: What about a 3D CGI version where all the action and intrigue has the emotional impact of one of the latest Star Wars things with cartoons fighting toys. Or maybe some manga or anime version. Or an Eddie Murphy version where he’s everybody! ---
**Author:** ![ministryman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@ministryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ministryman)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/10 "2010-08-04T17:21:09Z")
> [@Reno\_Nevada](#): > > Wait, I’ve got a better idea…set the movie in _ancient Japan._ The gunfighters become **samurai swordsmen.** Japan is cool, samurai are cool, what could go wrong. Cast genuine Japanese actors, of course. Hire a \*really \*good director. Film it in black&white for the arthouse cred. > > That or the 7 gorgeous women idea. I like that too. Wouldn’t that be called “The 7 Samurai?” ---
**Author:** ![vd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b19c9b/32.png) [@vd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vd)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/11 "2010-08-04T17:32:19Z")
> [@Zeldar](#): > > Or an Eddie Murphy version where he’s everybody! The good guys are all Eddie Murphy, the bad guys are all Mike Myers, and the villagers are all Tyler Perry. ---
**Author:** ![mcgato](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac8455/32.png) [@mcgato](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mcgato)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/12 "2010-08-04T19:27:00Z")
A remake could be set in a small Mexican border town where an evil drug cartel has been taking over other small towns, either forcing the people to work for them or killing them. The cartel is protected from the Mexican authorities since they have associates in high government positions. The small Mexican town finds out that they are in the way of the cartel from a relative who escaped a similar situation nearby. Someone in town knows an old friend/relative living in Arizona who used to do mercenary work in Iraq and Afghanistan for a Halliburton type company. He rounds up six others who go and protect the town. Motivations of the seven could include disgust with America, loyalty to saving Mexico, an illegal or two fleeing Arizona’s new immigration law, etc. In the end someone will probably uncover the cartel’s ties to evil groups in America … ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/13 "2010-08-04T20:14:34Z")
Maybe Bruce Willis could star in an updated version of _A Fistful of Dollars,_ or maybe _Yojimbo_. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/14 "2010-08-04T20:17:44Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > James Coburn = Brad Pitt Brad Pitt as “Britt.” There’s a joke there somewhere. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/15 "2010-08-04T20:20:31Z")
> [@garygnu](#): > > Oooh, make it about a bunch of bugs, instead of humans. Let’s throw in a case of mistaken identity and a lovable misfit, too. Done. [A Bug’s Life](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120623/) ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/16 "2010-08-04T20:30:08Z")
> [@mcgato](#): > > A remake could be set in a small Mexican border town where an evil drug cartel has been taking over other small towns, either forcing the people to work for them or killing them. The cartel is protected from the Mexican authorities since they have associates in high government positions. The small Mexican town finds out that they are in the way of the cartel from a relative who escaped a similar situation nearby. Someone in town knows an old friend/relative living in Arizona who used to do mercenary work in Iraq and Afghanistan for a Halliburton type company. He rounds up six others who go and protect the town. Motivations of the seven could include disgust with America, loyalty to saving Mexico, an illegal or two fleeing Arizona’s new immigration law, etc. In the end someone will probably uncover the cartel’s ties to evil groups in America … I like this concept, but most studios don’t have the budget for seven big named actors. Let’s just make it 3. You can even go meta and make them washed up actors. And the “evil, illegal, Mexican…” blah blah blah. Just call the bad guy “infamous.” Viewers will get the idea. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/17 "2010-08-04T20:34:09Z")
> [@ministryman](#): > > > [@Reno\_Nevada](#): > > > > Wait, I’ve got a better idea…set the movie in _ancient Japan._ The gunfighters become **samurai swordsmen.** Japan is cool, samurai are cool, what could go wrong. Cast genuine Japanese actors, of course. Hire a \*really \*good director. Film it in black&white for the arthouse cred. > > > > That or the 7 gorgeous women idea. I like that too. > > Wouldn’t that be called “The 7 Samurai?” Are you on the deck of an aircraft carrier? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/18 "2010-08-04T20:36:28Z")
Washed up TV heroes are even cheaper. Lee Majors Eric Estrada That drunk burger eater who’s about to get roasted on Comedy Central . . . ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/19 "2010-08-04T22:20:58Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > James Coburn = Tom Hanks “Somebody’s poisoned the waterhole!” ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2010, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094/20 "2010-08-04T23:01:10Z")
Can we put Lindsay Lohan in the role played by Robert Vaughn? Not in the serious version, of course. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-remake-of-the-magnificent-seven/549094.md?page=2)