# A Root is Not A Fruit!! A Subway Rant. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 27, 2005, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458 "2005-03-27T13:36:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/21 "2005-03-27T18:16:31Z")
It’s like the coke/pepsi thing. If you ask for coke, and they offer you pepsi, they’re offering the closest thing they have. Nobody’s arguing that they’re the same thing. They’re just letting you know your options. You can decline. Being a pedantic prick to someone who makes minimum wage isn’t good karma. Now. Does anyone know where I can find a recipe for chipotle wasabi sauce? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/22 "2005-03-27T18:22:05Z")
> [@TJdude825](#): > > Fine. They’re different types of spicyness. But it is logical to think that some people would want the pepper spicy if the horseradish spicy became unavailable. As he had no idea whether you might be one such person, it was good that he asked. Well, I do think the OP’s rant is silly and explaining the difference between a fruit and vegetable to the Subway employee is a bit rude, if not condescending. It’s never in good form to talk down to somebody who is simply trying to be helpful. However, in my opinion, horseradish and chiles are not logical substitutes at all. Would you put chile peppers on a rueben or horseradish on a taco? Mustard would be a logical substitute for horseradish, not chile peppers. Honestly, I’m not trying to be a nit-picky prick here, and I agree with your main points re: the OP. It’s just that to me the two are not logical substitutes. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/23 "2005-03-27T18:32:06Z")
I guess I should offer some background. I grew up in an Eastern European household where horseradish and stone-ground mustard were feasted upon, but chile peppers were absolutely intolerable to my parents. My father could eat horseradish by the spoon, but give him the mildest jalapeno and he’d be in dire agony. (I, on the other hand, can withstand up to the habanero and Scotch bonnet end of the Scoville scale.) I find this to be true with most Central and Eastern Europeans: they love the horseradish and mustard, but cannot handle the merest hint of capsaicin. So I just grew up never even thinking the two substances as interchangeable, or even similar for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/24 "2005-03-27T19:29:58Z")
> [@zenith](#): > > I pointed out that a pepper is a fruit,eaten as a vegetable, and that horseradish is a root. He stood there dumbfounded by the idea that “heat” from a root was different from “heat” from a fruit. No argument that horseradish and hot peppers are different. However, what makes you think that the difference is somehow related to what part of the plant they’re from? That doesn’t even make sense - most fruits don’t have capsaicin, and most roots don’t have whatever it is that makes horseradish hot, so it doesn’t follow that the distinction between a root and a fruit is important. I’m just mentioning this because others have pointed out what an absolute fucking asshole you were to the poor kid who was just doing his best to serve you with what the chain provided him. I wanted to make it clear that you’re a complete fucking moron with no grip on logic as well. Hopefully one day we will find the gene that causes people to be total dicks to customer service personnel about things that are beyond their control. And then we will execute those people in a suitably brutal manner and thus remove that gene from the gene pool. ---
**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/25 "2005-03-27T21:45:57Z")
> [@zenith](#): > > I ordered our usual and was told that I could no longer get dijon horseradish sauce. The kid said that if I wanted something spicy, I should try the new chipotle pepper sauce. > > I pointed out that a pepper is a fruit,eaten as a vegetable, and that horseradish is a root. He stood there dumbfounded by the idea that “heat” from a root was different from “heat” from a fruit. No he didn’t. He stood there dumbfounded that a suggestion for an alternative to your no-longer-sold horseradish sauce was met with some botanical litany on the differences between fruits, vegetables and roots. I mean, what the fuck does that have to do with anything? :rolleyes: It’s dipshits like you who make the [customerssuck.com](http://customerssuck.com) website so popular. Get a life. Max. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2005, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/26 "2005-03-27T23:10:31Z")
[A happy Muffin sighs with satiation.]Yummers! That recipe on [recipezaar](http://www.recipezaar.com/82591) to which more than one of you kindly referred me is delicious. [/A happy Muffin sighs with satiation.] ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/27 "2005-03-28T00:03:34Z")
**zenith** : People like you are exactly what makes any customer service job hellish. For fuck’s sake, the kid was trying to give you something else that you’d like. “Sorry, we’re out of (spicy thing 1) how about (spicy thing 2)?” You have to respond like an asshole and lecture the kid? Why not just say “My wife can’t eat peppers, sorry. Do you have anything else?” If it’s any consolation, I’d almost be willing to bet money that the Subway employees were laughing over ‘that asshole customer who got all upset about peppers.’ The kid wasn’t dumbfounded by the facts your gave him, he was dumbfounded that someone would be an asshole over such a minor detail. ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/28 "2005-03-28T00:04:24Z")
> [@monstro](#): > > As a biologist, I know that a horseradish is a vegetable and that a pepper is a fruit, but I didn’t know that the spicyness from the two aren’t comparable. > [@Sattua](#): > > [This](http://www.horseradish.org/facts.html) says that horseradish’s heat comes from isothiocyanate (or something vaguely like that… follow the link!) while, as I understand it, the heat in peppers comes from capsaicin. Two different chemicals, two different agonies. Makes sense. [Yes they are different types of heat; Sweet Thundering Cecil, I wrote a whole column on this.](http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mmustard.html) ---
**Author:** ![Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/eada6e/32.png) [@Go\_You\_Big\_Red\_Fire\_Engine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Go_You_Big_Red_Fire_Engine)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/29 "2005-03-28T00:46:29Z")
I’m not sure what’s more idiotic, you lecturing a kid for giving you a helpful suggestion, or for coming in here and pitting him. “Some 15-yr-old at subway didn’t know the difference between horseradish and pepper heat! WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![stockton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5a626/32.png) [@stockton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stockton)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/30 "2005-03-28T03:56:46Z")
At the risk of looking like a pile-on here, did he explain to you the difference between a smartass and a jackass? I’m still not sure which term is appropriate here. No, wait. Jackass. You probably didn’t know that his wife was allergic to smartass and it mighta gotten all over him if you were one of those. **Una** , that’s still one of my favorite and most informative columns ever. Thanks for the revisit. ---
**Author:** ![zenith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e19b73/32.png) [@zenith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zenith)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/31 "2005-03-28T15:23:19Z")
I can see that I had not made myself clear in my OP. I left out a paragraph that would have made clear that once I politely refused the kid’s offer of pepper sace in place of horseradish, the idiot manager got involved in our conversation. I gave the lecture to the IM, with the instruction to pass it on to his IDM (idiot district manager). The kid, who obviously thought I was right and IM was wrong, told me what I already knew about the nearest location of an Arby’s from which I could nick a couple packets of Horsey Sauce. Subway has 2 kinds of peppers as well as pepper sauce. I prefer my heat from horseradish and the condiment bar obviously has room for one more sauce bottle–so why can’t us horseradish people have our sauce, too? ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/32 "2005-03-28T16:21:38Z")
You were still being a cock. No matter what the manager said, coming off like your OP appears to detail: > [@](#): > > The kid said that if I wanted something spicy, I should try the new chipotle pepper sauce. > > I pointed out that a pepper is a fruit,eaten as a vegetable, and that horseradish is a root. He stood there dumbfounded by the idea that “heat” from a root was different from “heat” from a fruit. It doesn’t matter that it’s a fruit, or a root. He doesn’t care, his manager doesn’t care and neither does the District Manager. The kid offered you what he had, as did the manager of the store. Treating them as if they are fucking dummies and explaining the difference of where the produce comes from, and generally sounding like a condescending asshole makes you “bad customer of the day”, and proof that “the customer is not always right”. Sam ---
**Author:** ![Stonebow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Stonebow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stonebow)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/33 "2005-03-28T16:51:05Z")
> [@zenith](#): > > I can see that I had not made myself clear in my OP. I know that you meant for this post to be some sort of justification for your behavior…but it just wasn’t. I say this as someone that has been called a snob, elitist, and asshole, both on this board and in real life. Rule #1 of being a successful snob: be nice to the plebes. They outnumber us 10,000 to 1, and they control access to our food sources. If you want someone that knows the ins and outs of sandwich garnish, then you’d better take your $4.95 down to the country club and leave these poor folks alone. Otherwise, you suck it up, politely decline, and take your sandwich home with you. No one wants to be ‘educated’ on these matters, least of all the wage slaves making your damn sandwich. fast food is not gourmet. Get over it. I’ll tell you what the guy behind the counter is hearing as you rail about the subtle yet important differences in spicy sandwich garnish: “Please, oh please spit in my food. I know that it would be difficult to do out here in the open, with this glass front counter, but I’m sure you can find a way if you apply yourself. Perhaps you could surreptitiously wipe your ass with my lunch meat before adding it? That would be super.” ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/34 "2005-03-28T16:56:14Z")
> [@zenith](#): > > Subway has 2 kinds of peppers as well as pepper sauce. I prefer my heat from horseradish and the condiment bar obviously has room for one more sauce bottle–so why can’t us horseradish people have our sauce, too? If this was your Pitting, Ok, then I would understand it. “Why can’t Subway carry horseradish sauce?” But, and I’m not trying to pile on, but explain, _the kid was only trying to help_! ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/35 "2005-03-28T17:16:54Z")
> [@Stonebow](#): > > Rule #1 of being a successful snob: be nice to the plebes. They outnumber us 10,000 to 1, and they control access to our food sources. > > If you want someone that knows the ins and outs of sandwich garnish, then you’d better take your $4.95 down to the country club and leave these poor folks alone. Otherwise, you suck it up, politely decline, and take your sandwich home with you. No one wants to be ‘educated’ on these matters, least of all the wage slaves making your damn sandwich. fast food is not gourmet. Get over it. > > I’ll tell you what the guy behind the counter is hearing as you rail about the subtle yet important differences in spicy sandwich garnish: > > “Please, oh please spit in my food. I know that it would be difficult to do out here in the open, with this glass front counter, but I’m sure you can find a way if you apply yourself. Perhaps you could surreptitiously wipe your ass with my lunch meat before adding it? That would be super.” Wow, way to show respect for customer service people. What an utterly shitty thing for someone to say. I’m young. I’ve been short on cash, and as with many young Dopers, I’ve worked a number of low-end jobs, the worst of which inevitably involve customer service. When I worked at the grocery store, I once sat at my cashier station reading _Gravity’s Rainbow_ between customers. No one recognized it. Smart people work these jobs too, you know. Yeah, even at Subway. To suggest that the kid working at Subway is necessarily dumber than the OP is really giving the OP a lot of credit; I myself would pit my intelligence against his, if only because of his bizarre inability to apply punctuation properly and the illogic of claiming that the difference between “fruit” and “root” is somehow significant. I do like horseradish, though. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/36 "2005-03-28T17:24:14Z")
> [@Excalibre](#): > > Smart people work these jobs too, you know. Yeah, even at Subway. To suggest that the kid working at Subway is necessarily dumber than the OP is really giving the OP a lot of credit… He didn’t say people who work at Subway are dumb. He suggested that those of us in customer service jobs are a few rungs down the social totem pole (Yes, I know totem poles don’t have rungs) and that other people thereby feel free to be snobbish assholes to us. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/37 "2005-03-28T17:32:24Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > He didn’t say people who work at Subway are dumb. He suggested that those of us in customer service jobs are a few rungs down the social totem pole (Yes, I know totem poles don’t have rungs) and that other people thereby feel free to be snobbish assholes to us. Meh. Maybe you’re right. Ire retracted. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/38 "2005-03-28T19:03:48Z")
> [@Muffin](#): > > And thanks too to **Contrapuntal** and **leander**. I’m off to the kitchen to make a hopefully tasty mess. I am totally indifferent to every element of this thread save your post. How did things go? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/39 "2005-03-28T19:14:50Z")
> [@zenith](#): > > Subway has 2 kinds of peppers as well as pepper sauce. I prefer my heat from horseradish and the condiment bar obviously has room for one more sauce bottle–so why can’t us horseradish people have our sauce, too? See, this is what you should be Pitting. I too hate that subway has done away with my beloved horseraddish sauce. But it wasn’t the kid’s fault (who you appreared to Pit), nor was it the manager’s fault for trying to satisfy you. ---
**Author:** ![MisterThyristor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ecccb3/32.png) [@MisterThyristor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MisterThyristor)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2005, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458/40 "2005-03-28T19:27:37Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > See, this is what you should be Pitting. I too hate that subway has done away with my beloved horseraddish sauce. But it wasn’t the kid’s fault (who you appreared to Pit), nor was it the manager’s fault for trying to satisfy you. pssst, **BD** , post #26. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-root-is-not-a-fruit-a-subway-rant/296458.md?page=3)