# A salad Howl **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568 "2003-01-19T01:49:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/1 "2003-01-19T01:49:39Z")
I saw the best salad of my dinner destroyed by madness, clothed hysterical naked. laying itself there though leafy greenness at dinner looking for an angry fork. Artichoke hearts and snow peas, burning for the crunch dark flavor of pumpernickle croutons among the crisp dynamo of celery and chives. who broccolli and carrots and shooty goodness of beansprouts sat tossed up mixed in the supernatural depths of raduccio and romaine floating across the slices of radishes conteplating pepper. who mushrooms sat in earthy goodness with subtle cool flavors hallucinating shitake and button blessings among the scholars of salad. who were expelled amidst the lettuce where crazy & sprinkling exotic herbs on the stems and stalks. who bared their fronds to accept the blessing of the sacred unguent only to find, unknown and too late, that the dressing had passed it’s illuminated expiration date. Fenris Ginsberg ---
**Author:** ![Ice\_Wolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/dfb087/32.png) [@Ice\_Wolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ice_Wolf)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/2 "2003-01-19T02:05:10Z")
Bummer. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/3 "2003-01-19T02:05:57Z")
So, your dressing expired? Or am I missing the deeper meaning of life? Whoosh! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![happyheathen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5e925/32.png) [@happyheathen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/happyheathen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/4 "2003-01-19T02:17:42Z")
Too literate for the room, **Fenris** , just too literate… ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/5 "2003-01-19T02:23:12Z")
Not one of your “Salad Days”, huh? ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/6 "2003-01-19T02:33:30Z")
::snap:: ::snap:: ::snap:: ::snap:: ---
**Author:** ![Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/50afbb/32.png) [@Duck\_Duck\_Goose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duck_Duck_Goose)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/7 "2003-01-19T02:36:12Z")
did somebody just have sex on a pile of greens? is that what he’s talking about? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/8 "2003-01-19T02:41:08Z")
What happens if you eat salad dressing that’s past date? ---
**Author:** ![JonScribe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/3be4f8/32.png) [@JonScribe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JonScribe)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/9 "2003-01-19T02:45:48Z")
I come not to praise a Caesar salad, but to eat it. ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/10 "2003-01-19T02:56:25Z")
When a salad dressing conspires to go bad, And its rancid and aborted contents breed tiny monsters, Good eating is dead. Awkward instant, and the first bottle is jettisoned, Legs furiously pumping, their green-faced gallop, And heads bob up Poise Dry heave Pause Vomit In loud stomach agony Carefully cleaned up And sealed over. Airman Morrison ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/11 "2003-01-19T02:59:54Z")
“Meanwhile, back at the ranch…” Get it? Ranch? Dressing? I kill me. 😃 Put those rocks down!!! ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/12 "2003-01-19T03:13:34Z")
**Fenris** the entire time I was reading your “Ode to Salad”, I was drooling, and thinking to myself, ‘but what kind of dressing did he have? What kind? What kind? Tell me now! Don’t keep my in agony!’ Then, to come to the last line of your post. I’m crushed! ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/13 "2003-01-19T03:42:05Z")
This Is Just to Say I have eaten the dressing that was in the icebox and which you were probably saving for your salad Forgive me it was delicious I left the expired one. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/14 "2003-01-19T03:54:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by hello32499 \* > \*\*So, your dressing expired? \*\* Yes. But discovered only after I poured it on. > [@](#): > > **Or am I missing the deeper meaning of life?** Possibly. Never being fluent with **JarbabyJ** -style compound-invective (I can do it, but without her artistry), I chose to do my rant in the style of famed beat poet Alan Ginsberg’s magnum opus poem: “Howl” Fenris ---
**Author:** ![hello32499](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cc9497/32.png) [@hello32499](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hello32499)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/15 "2003-01-19T04:08:37Z")
See, I took “unknown and too late” to mean that you couldn’t tell it was bad until you tasted it and you didn’t have time to get to the store, or make more. I didn’t realize you spoiled your salad with bad dressing. I hope you had something else to eat other than salad. Oh, and Happy, I understood that he seemed upset about his salad and the dressing. I was just unsure as to why. But, thanks for your comment anyway. ---
**Author:** ![betenoir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/258eb7/32.png) [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/16 "2003-01-19T04:12:52Z")
And you realized this during your naked lunch? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/17 "2003-01-19T04:22:18Z")
How did it taste? You know, someone told me barbecue sauce makes a decent dressing in a pinch… Don’t know if that helps. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/18 "2003-01-19T04:32:09Z")
To die. In the rain. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/19 "2003-01-19T05:18:38Z")
I think I’m gonna head on down to the kitchen and fix me a salad before I go to bed. Mmmmm…salad…with Italian dressing. Yeah. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2003, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/20 "2003-01-19T05:28:25Z")
I would’ve eaten it anyway. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568.md?page=2)