# A salad Howl **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 19, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568 "2003-01-19T01:49:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/41 "2003-01-20T21:20:43Z")
**lieu** : I’d rather eat the rancid salad dressing. :yuk: **Scablet** : in point of fact, that’s what I did, but it wouldn’t have been conducive to the anguished-howl-of-outrage tone of the OP to say so. Although I’d run out of pumpernickel croutons!!! Fenris ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/42 "2003-01-20T22:11:11Z")
Yeah, it’s like if Devo made a dressing. ---
**Author:** ![scablet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/53a042/32.png) [@scablet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scablet)\ **Post date:** [January 20, 2003, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/43 "2003-01-20T22:39:35Z")
Salvaged scablet salad! with unspoilt dressing! ---
**Author:** ![senor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@senor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/senor)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 10:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/44 "2003-01-21T10:48:12Z")
Hola! Another stupid pothead pretending to be intellectual. Fenris, please tell me what your smoking, or I will get the angry fork to stab you in the heart until you are dead. Also, quit with the fuckwad poetry. SENOR ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/45 "2003-01-21T16:09:33Z")
**Fenris** , maybe you should [clean out your shelves a little more often](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=2879916#post2879117). Not that I should talk; I’ve got stuff on my basement shelves that may date back to the early 90s myself. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/46 "2003-01-21T23:49:19Z")
That’s poetry? It didn’t rhyne. I like my iceberg lettuce with a dollop of the ol’ Hidden Valley Ranch. Anybody who can’t appreciate a good basic salad like that is a Communist pervert, if you ask me. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [January 21, 2003, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/47 "2003-01-21T23:55:01Z")
Oh, hell. **Humble Servant** beat me too it. I am the very essence of “square.” _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/48 "2003-01-22T00:36:58Z")
I saw the best outer leaves of my Iceberg rot. So I fed them to the dog. _“Throw me into the quicksand Beat me with armadillo tails Let me be eaten by starving baby elephants If I can’t have you”_ ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/49 "2003-01-22T01:19:48Z")
This thread brought to you by Moloch’s Creamy Italian Salad Dressing. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/50 "2003-01-22T01:33:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus \* > \*\*This thread brought to you by Moloch’s Creamy Italian Salad Dressing. \*\* Bwah-hahaha! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/51 "2003-01-22T06:04:11Z")
Fenris, “getting” your OP made my entire English minor in college worthwhile. And that’s saying a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Fatwater\_Fewl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/4491bb/32.png) [@Fatwater\_Fewl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fatwater_Fewl)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/52 "2003-01-22T06:56:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*Anything can be enhanced with a William Carlos Williams parody, I’ve found. He’s just so parodiable. \*\* ```auto Anything can be enhanced with a William Carlos Williams parody, I've found. He's just so parodiable. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [January 22, 2003, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/53 "2003-01-22T16:19:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Podkayne \* > \*\*Oh, hell. **Humble Servant** beat me too it. > > I am the very essence of “square.” _sigh_ \*\* Hey, it’s more important to be _right_ than original. In fact, I’ll let you have the iceberg line; I’ll do meat and potatoes instead. I go out to eat. [A] I tell my waiter: \*\* A slab of rare meat [A] And a nice baked tater. \*\* Notice how each line has five syllables? See how the final word in the first line and the third line rhyme? How the final word in the second and fourth line rhyme? That’s not so hard, is it? Or, be like **Fenris** and wallow in dressing and sexual innuendo for all I care. ---
**Author:** ![Benwa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@Benwa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Benwa)\ **Post date:** [March 12, 2003, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/54 "2003-03-12T17:57:34Z")
so much depends upon a red tomato glazed with ranch dressing beside the green lettuce 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/55 "2003-03-13T01:33:03Z")
I think that I shall never see A poem as tasty as one by thee! Thank you, Fenris! Patty ---
**Author:** ![LotSeven\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ea5d25/32.png) [@LotSeven\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LotSeven_K)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/56 "2003-03-13T02:15:52Z")
The Bowl Not Eaten (with apologies to the late R.F.) two tines diverged on a silver fork, and joyful that I could use them both, with just one aperture, long I ate, and shoving it down as fast as I could, To where it bent in my large intestine. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/57 "2003-03-13T02:32:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by betenoir \* > \*\*And you realized this during your naked lunch? \*\* Y’know, I was surpised to see this pop back up, but it was worth it: I missed this post first time around. All I gotta say isL Bwah-hahaha! 😃 Thanks **betenoir!** ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/58 "2003-03-13T03:42:03Z")
I ate a jar of salad dressing in Tennessee, And ranch it was, upon a bolus of lettuce. It made my slovenly gastric juices Surround that lettuce. My gorge rose up to it And growled around, no longer mild. The jar of salad dressing was stable on the table And tall and of a stink in air. It took dominion all over me. My face went gray, and there… I did not give of crouton or sprout, But made it to the john. In Tennessee. [sub]Yes, I can hear Wallace Stevens spinning in his grave. But I was feeling left out.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/59 "2003-03-13T20:28:13Z")
Have the salads stopped screaming, Clarice? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 13, 2003, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568/60 "2003-03-13T22:45:14Z")
/Evita voice/ Don’t pour that stuff on my salad. Because then I just can’t eat it. All of those wild greens And red tomatoes. I just can’t eat it. With all that dressing. I’ll eat too much And all that dressing isn’t good for you. Because it’s not low calorie. And it’s expired, too… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-salad-howl/149568.md?page=4)