# A secret you will never tell anyone **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 27, 2012, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798 "2012-08-27T08:42:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/21 "2012-08-27T17:26:14Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I once killed a drifter just to get an erection. His or yours? ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/22 "2012-08-27T17:28:26Z")
> [@simster](#): > > oh the stories I could tell if we were allowed to use socks… If you ever go near Leaffan’s shower, you should be sure to wear _several_ pairs of socks. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/23 "2012-08-27T17:31:04Z")
> [@simster](#): > > oh the stories I could tell if we were allowed to use socks… I’m really glad I understand what this means in Internet parlance. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/24 "2012-08-27T17:33:57Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > What part of the word secret do you not understand? My wife’s family drives me crazy. “I told your sister about your father’s problem, but don’t tell him that I told her, because he wanted to keep it a secret, so please keep it secret that you know this. And don’t mention to your sister that I told you that she knows, because it would hurt her feelings because I promised to keep it secret that she knows this secret.” You know what I do when I want to keep a secret? Don’t tell anyone. ---
**Author:** ![EmilyG](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/emilyg/32/364_2.png) [@EmilyG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EmilyG)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/25 "2012-08-27T17:52:56Z")
> [@badger5149](#): > > I wish my handle was more anonamous, I use the same one everywhere. I have lots of secrets that would be fun to share, Oh well. Similarly, I use the name EmilyG fairly often on the internet (though it’s not the only name I use.) It’s also part of my actual name (my first name and last initial), so I try not to share anything too, too secret here for fear of someone I know from real life finding me out. ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/26 "2012-08-27T17:58:02Z")
[We gave Rex to a nice farm family](http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-gave-rex-to-a-nice-farm-family-vs-they-had-me-p,11544/) ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/27 "2012-08-27T18:00:01Z")
I have a sock – not on SDMB – for that sort of thing. Mostly I use it for anything about my sex life more potentially scandalous than the fact that I have one. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/28 "2012-08-27T18:15:45Z")
> [@Morbo](#): > > [We gave Rex to a nice farm family](http://www.theonion.com/articles/we-gave-rex-to-a-nice-farm-family-vs-they-had-me-p,11544/) May parents did that. I was maybe 10 or 12. I didn’t find out till I was about 35! The story was that the dog ran away from home. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/29 "2012-08-27T18:33:09Z")
I never share secrets. Now aren’t you sorry you looked? ---
**Author:** ![nikonikosuru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5f8ce5/32.png) [@nikonikosuru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nikonikosuru)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/30 "2012-08-27T18:41:04Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > The story was that the dog ran away from home. ☹ That’s the story they used on me for my grandma’s dog and bird, too. ☹ I always thought it was weird how they ran away together. I later on found out that my uncle accidentally sat on the bird. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/31 "2012-08-27T18:44:08Z")
I framed Hari with that goat thingy. My neighbor has some serious health issues. And he was facing some possible surgery awhile back. He was cruising the internet for all sorts of info. And the idea of surgery pretty much freaks him out. I couldn’t decide whether to tell him to NOT research anything having to do with anesteisha (sp?) or not. If he didn’t search he wouldn’t find out the horrible secret about it. But if he did he would freak the fuck out. But if I told him to NOT do so, he might heed my advice and never learn that horrible secret. But then again, he might not be able to help himself and find out that horrible secret that he wouldn’t have found if I had not mentioned it. Fortunately, the surgery got canceled so for now he is still blissfully ignorant. I wish I was. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/32 "2012-08-27T19:07:59Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > I once killed a drifter just to get an erection. Clyde McPhatter? ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/33 "2012-08-27T19:36:43Z")
Clyde McPhatter peed in Leaffan’s shower, with several pairs of socks on, to get an erection. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/34 "2012-08-27T19:54:55Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > My wife’s family drives me crazy. “I told your sister about your father’s problem, but don’t tell him that I told her, because he wanted to keep it a secret, so please keep it secret that you know this. And don’t mention to your sister that I told you that she knows, because it would hurt her feelings because I promised to keep it secret that she knows this secret.” > > . Somewhat related : receiving the confidences of both sides in a quarell and being asked by both not to tell anything is an uncomfortable situation. So, you’re on the phone with someone agonizing about something, explaining to you in minute detail what they are wondering about and why. You’re listening patiently despite knowing exactly what’s happening and the answer to their questions. And then…they ask you for advice… :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/35 "2012-08-27T20:58:01Z")
> [@Scribble](#): > > Clyde McPhatter peed in Leaffan’s shower, with several pairs of socks on, to get an erection. I thought Clyde McPhatter peed beneath the inattentive guy who was pretending to be someone else on the internet. You know, under the bored sock. mmm ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/36 "2012-08-27T21:20:22Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > I also pee in Leaffan’s shower. I think we’ve all peed in Leaffan’s shower at one time or another. 😉 I’m no good at keeping secrets, usually and I really don’t like to. But I had a cousin that committed suicide and the rest of the family doesn’t know, though a few suspect. I was the only one she had approved for medical info and they found over 30 pills still in her stomach after she was dead. But the death certificate said accidental overdose, so that’s what everyone believes. I think the doc was trying to spare the family, so I went along. I’ve always believed the saying about “Three people can keep a secret, as long as two of them are dead.” ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/37 "2012-08-27T21:35:08Z")
If I posted it online I’d have to kill everyone who read it. Fortunately for all of you I’m behind on my pillaging quota so I won’t bother posting it. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/38 "2012-08-27T22:04:44Z")
I gave someone’s mother ass cancer. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/39 "2012-08-27T22:18:50Z")
I don’t know about **Leaffan** ’s shower, but I can confidently state that there is a lot of [erection](http://urbantoronto.ca/forum/showthread.php/9157-400-foot-List) going on in Toronto these days. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2012, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/40 "2012-08-27T22:42:06Z")
I am neither lavender nor blue. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798.md?page=3)