# A secret you will never tell anyone **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 27, 2012, 8:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798 "2012-08-27T08:42:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/121 "2012-09-02T05:11:10Z")
> [@lawoot](#): > > I could never share secrets here, because I’m NOT anonymous. I have family on the board, and real-life friends as well. So no secret sharing from _me_. Thanks for that. ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/122 "2012-09-02T14:46:42Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Is there anyone here who _doesn_’t pee in Leaffan’s shower? [Canucks fan snide remark]I would like to pee in his shower, since he’s a Leaf fan and all, but I make it a policy not to associate with Leaf fans. [/Canucks fan snide remark] And that is a blatant lie. I still talk to my father. My secret is that sometimes I blatantly lie on message boards and then retract the statement immediately. One doper here I have talked to on the telephone. And he’s a lawyer. What do you think I am going to admit, hmmm? ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/123 "2012-09-02T15:22:21Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > Is there anyone here who _doesn_’t pee in Leaffan’s shower? Some times there’s too many people and I cant wait. So I pee in his sink. Shhh. Don’t tell anyone. ---
**Author:** ![pinkyvee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/6de8d8/32.png) [@pinkyvee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pinkyvee)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/124 "2012-09-02T17:39:51Z")
> [@Cold\_April](#): > > I really hated The Five People You Meet in Heaven, The Bridges of Madison County and The Alchemist. But I’ve stopped admitting it, because people get strangely offended. And Tom Hanks’ voice sets my teeth on edge for some reason. No-one wants to hear that either. I hated Eat Pray Love and lied to my book group. At least you admitted it. Tom Hanks’ forehead makes me squeegy. It’s way past five fingers now. ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/125 "2012-09-02T19:26:59Z")
> [@LavenderBlue](#): > > I am neither lavender nor blue. I am not tan at all. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/126 "2012-09-02T19:33:24Z")
> [@Tangent](#): > > I am not tan at all. But you are a gent? ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/127 "2012-09-02T20:05:28Z")
At your disposal, M’lady. ---
**Author:** ![Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e47c2d/32.png) [@Hershele\_Ostropoler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hershele_Ostropoler)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/128 "2012-09-02T20:26:15Z")
I’m not a trickster from Ukraine. ---
**Author:** ![Chef\_Troy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Chef\_Troy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chef_Troy)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2012, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/129 "2012-09-02T22:58:29Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > (Stuff about **ducati’s** friend being gay) > (Stuff about a missing hamster) Am I the only sick bastard who thought these two secrets were going to wind up connected? :o ---
**Author:** ![Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ce7236/32.png) [@Mona\_Lisa\_Simpson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mona_Lisa_Simpson)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 7:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/130 "2012-09-03T07:40:13Z")
Actually here’s a secret. I did detest peanut butter. For about 6 years now, I have not touched the stuff. You can find my reasoning here, in various “foods you hate” threads. Now I like it again. My hubby hates it. And it was one of the things that brought us together. He actually said “problem with dating women with kids is there is usually lots of peanut butter around.” I said there is no peanut butter in my house. We locked eyes, embraced… violin music…\* Now I like it again. I eat peanut butter toast at work. I had a Reese’s PB cup the other day and didn’t gag. This may spiral out of control into a full blown affair with the \*beurre d’arachides. \* So, uh if you meet him, don’t tell him. \*May not be completely accurate rendition of facts, but does capture the crazy spirit of '07. ---
**Author:** ![LouisB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@LouisB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LouisB)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/131 "2012-09-03T12:02:55Z")
> [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](#): > > I don’t let that stop me! I pee in a bottle, and ship it to **Smeghead** …who them dumps it in **Leaffan’s** shower for me. > -D/a Are there any fees associated with this service? ---
**Author:** ![Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a88e4f/32.png) [@Digital\_is\_the\_new\_Analog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Digital_is_the_new_Analog)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2012, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/132 "2012-09-03T18:06:20Z")
> [@LouisB](#): > > Are there any fees associated with this service? It’s a secret. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/133 "2012-09-04T03:43:55Z")
> [@Chef\_Troy](#): > > Am I the only sick bastard who thought these two secrets were going to wind up connected? :o Yes, you are a sick bastard, and not the only one. I suspect ducati is not telling the whole truth, though, there must be some connection between the two and Leaffan’s shower. Were I Leaffan, I would be checking for soggy cardboard tubes before his next soap-and-urine fest. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/134 "2012-09-04T04:29:55Z")
The person I’m closest to in life bores me, not only to tears, but beyond tears. I feel so, so sorry for this person. But I feel sorry for myself, too. ☹ I have been intimate with a dozen men in my life. Relationships and a couple of one-night stands. The sex with all but two of them was awful, just horrible and painful and I couldn’t wait for it to end. And when it did, then all I did was worry if I’d get knocked up, even though I was a stickler for using birth control. So…I should have become a nun, or something. ☹ These are sad. But it was me who anonymously sent a few bucks in a sympathy card to people who lost their pets in a fire. 🙂 (Not that I don’t think it’s tragic when people die, of course, but the whole world mourns that and rallies round them. When a pet dies, they’re told, ‘oh, it’s just an animal, it could have been one of your kids, get over it!’) ---
**Author:** ![Luk3112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a9adbd/32.png) [@Luk3112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luk3112)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/135 "2012-09-04T12:46:55Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > OK. Who am I? Sayid Jarrah. You are one of the survivors on oceanic flight 815. ---
**Author:** ![Luk3112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a9adbd/32.png) [@Luk3112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luk3112)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/136 "2012-09-04T12:58:38Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > My best friend is gay. Known him for 25 years, and he only told me about 3 years ago. He was hesitant to say anything since my wife and I are his only friends, and he didn’t want to alienate us. > > I told him I couldn’t care less, and the only difference it would make is what kind of porn I forward to him.😉 > > One of the kids hamsters escaped and never came back. We told them he probably made it to the yard and is having fun with the chipmunks and squirrels. > > Truth is, he only made it to the pantry, into a rat trap. > > shhhhhh. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Sorry, ---
**Author:** ![Luk3112](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a9adbd/32.png) [@Luk3112](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Luk3112)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2012, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798/137 "2012-09-04T12:59:56Z")
> [@SecretaryofEvil](#): > > Sorry grude, I laughed for about three minutes straight after I read this. 6 minutes here [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-secret-you-will-never-tell-anyone/632798.md?page=6)