# A self-admitted neanderthal laments. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 26, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849 "2001-09-26T02:45:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/1 "2001-09-26T02:45:46Z")
Dearly beloved, We gather here in the presence of the almighty Cecil to honor the memory of fallen [legends](http://www.msnbc.com/news/633853.asp). From their fire-breathing youth, through their corpulent, emission-controlled middle age, and into their final years as barely-civilized savages, the Camaro and Firebird gave many an adolescent American male something to dream of in their teens, dump money into in their twenties, and tearfully surrender in trade for minivans once their own rebellious youth had faded. OK, so they were frequently seen during ‘domestic disturbance’ calls on COPS. OK, so they were often associated with sleeveless T-shirts, mullets, and Iron Maiden cassettes blaring from tinny Delco speakers. For a huge number of us, they represented a happy medium between the deplorable, fake-wood-paneled family grocery-getter and the unobtainable Corvette, chariot of the gods. So who will speak words of praise for these fallen icons? Is there any among us who still cherish the politically-incorrect pleasure of horsepower for its own sake? (Evidently, [IROC](http://www.iroc.com/pics/32.jpg).) 😃 ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/2 "2001-09-26T04:37:21Z")
It’s not like we didn’t see it coming from a mile away… …but I’m gonna crank up “455 SD” by Radio Birdman and watch Smokey and the Bandit this weekend, anyway. ```auto |\ /| | \ / | | \ / | | \_/¯<_/ | \ / \ ______ / /___\ ``` Hell, it was the best I could do in three minutes… ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/3 "2001-09-26T04:54:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by black455 \* > \*\*It’s not like we didn’t see it coming from a mile away… > \*\* True. And I’m not as peeved as I was when Nissan killed off the 300z. Still…it’s a damned shame every new car has to look like a bar of soap with a big ass and get 300 miles to the eyedropper. I never thought I’d see the day I’d have to turn to Dodge for exciting (or at least INTERESTING) auto designs. > [@](#): > > **…but I’m gonna crank up “455 SD” by Radio Birdman and watch Smokey and the Bandit this weekend, anyway.** Christ, how’d I forget to mention That Movie? IIRC, it was responsible for the biggest sales year Firebird ever had (1978). ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/4 "2001-09-26T05:10:55Z")
Nooooooooooo!!! ☹ ---
**Author:** ![apotheosis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ba8739/32.png) [@apotheosis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/apotheosis)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/5 "2001-09-26T05:19:59Z")
…they’re expecting [THIS](http://www.chevrolet.com/ssr/images/main/home_major.jpg) to fill the gaping void left in our gas-guzzling, tire-screeching hearts. Keep your namby-pamby little SSR, General Motors. Make mine a [Hummer](http://www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/genocide.html). ---
**Author:** ![Arden\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b487fb/32.png) [@Arden\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arden_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/6 "2001-09-26T05:24:29Z")
No way! That’s supposed to replace the Firebird and Camaro in our hearts and be the next muscle car of the American road?? Feh. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/7 "2001-09-26T05:25:08Z")
That car is exceedingly unattractive. I miss my dad’s Camaro. Many’s the hour we spent bonding over brill-o pads in the front yard, desperately scrubbing in an attempt to get the rust off the rear quarter panels… Oh well. I’ll just get a Nash Metropolitan. And then I can drive over some railroad tracks and it’ll break in half and I’ll wish I’d bought a '78 Camaro. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/8 "2001-09-26T05:25:27Z")
OHMYFUCKINGOD the SSR is stupid looking. If GM had any brains at all, they’d slap togther a bare-bones small block rocket box for around 25 grand, and ditch this Chrysler styling exercise shit. Unless that SSR makes 300 horsepower, I don’t want to _hear_ about it. At least the F Bodies should be a bit cheaper now that they’re orphans. FUCK this sucks. ---
**Author:** ![Odesio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/odesio/32/20003_2.png) [@Odesio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odesio)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/9 "2001-09-26T06:11:06Z")
I drive a 1996 Saturn and I’ve never owned a muscle car. I used to own a 1983 El Camino with a V-8 and I miss the hell out of that car. I miss the more powerful engine and I miss not having a car that looked pretty much the same as every other car. Without my fuzzy dice, my Mickey Mouse antennna ball, or my stars & strips license plate holder I never would have been able to pick my car out of the parking lot when I first bought it. Marc ---
**Author:** ![Hanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b3f665/32.png) [@Hanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hanna)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/10 "2001-09-26T06:27:17Z")
[Here is a picture of my old Trans Am](http://people.mn.mediaone.net/patti76/transam.jpg). '79, had an Olds 403, T-Tops…it rocked. I had lots of fun in this car. I had to sell it because I couldn’t drive it in snow and it needed some work. Ahh the memories. I bought a Toyota MR2 instead. ---
**Author:** ![saudade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c0e974/32.png) [@saudade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saudade)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/11 "2001-09-26T06:28:09Z")
I remember my cousin got a new black Firebird when he became a senior in high school, around 1986. That may have been the pinnacle of his high school achievement, since he wasn’t exactly the glee club type. Some afternoons, my uncle made him pick me up after school. I knew he resented having to pick my 10 year old butt up after school with every fiber of his being. But I tell you, when I hopped into that car - within sight of the jungle gym - and “Who Made Who” was blaring out of that radio … those other middle school brats were chokin’ on envy. Or maybe it was the fumes… ---
**Author:** ![BunnyGirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@BunnyGirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BunnyGirl)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/12 "2001-09-26T15:20:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by black455 \* > \*\*OHMYFUCKINGOD the SSR is stupid looking. > > If GM had any brains at all, they’d slap togther a bare-bones small block rocket box for around 25 grand, and ditch this Chrysler styling exercise shit.\*\* **black** , I hate to break it to you, but the guy in charge of design at Heil-Daimler-Chrysler is now working for GM. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Raven\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@The\_Raven\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Raven_1)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/13 "2001-09-26T15:22:17Z")
Howyadoin, Didn’t someone once write that owning a Camaro was part of the national birthright? I bought a '84 2.8l and drove it 'til the wheels fell off. Truly a scary winter ride, but that’s why my wife always gets the front-drive econoboxes or SUVs 🙂 I’ll never forget the night before my wedding… my friends were all at my place since most of them were to be my ushers the next day. I was lying in bed at 2:30 am, totally unable to sleep. I grabbed a buddy of mine and said, “Let’s go for a ride”. We took the Camaro up onto I-95 north of Boston, and I floored the pedal. And kept it floored. All the way to the New Hampshire border. The speedo only went to 85, and it was wrapped all the way back to 0 or so. Then we changed seats, and my friend repeated the process. Looking back, it’s scary to think what might have happened… “Hi, honey! I know you’re looking forward to the wedding and all that, but there’s a small snag that’s come up. Do you know any bail bondsm… hello? Hello?” It’s a shame too, cause the new Camaros are fantastic cars, but somehow the Mustang (which isn’t bad either, but most gearheads will tell you that the Camaro/Firebird is a better car performance-wise) just keeps kicking ass in sales… -Rav What? Oh, yeah… **FUCK** ---
**Author:** ![KeithB](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/48db29/32.png) [@KeithB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KeithB)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/14 "2001-09-26T22:27:01Z")
I had a '68 Camaro in college. Three on the tree and everything. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2001, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/15 "2001-09-26T23:11:34Z")
i still plan on having one! been looking for a 70-73 for a while now. always liked them since a guy named Chris had one at my high school. i have a real nice low mile 350 sitting around just waiting to get hot-rodded and cramed under a hood… as for the new ones, well, thier demise doesn’t really bother me much…sorry! (im putting on the nomex underware now!) ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/16 "2001-10-02T04:17:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by apotheosis \* > **…they’re expecting [THIS](http://www.chevrolet.com/ssr/images/main/home_major.jpg) to fill the gaping void left in our gas-guzzling, tire-screeching hearts.** What the hell is that, Hitler’s touring car? **black455** , your logo was awesome! ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/17 "2001-10-02T04:22:56Z")
Ooo, look! It’s the Mickey Mousemobile! ---
**Author:** ![Feynn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecb155/32.png) [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/18 "2001-10-02T07:43:41Z")
I was never the world’s biggest fan of the Camaro, I’m one of those fucking Ford guys who likes his turbo coupe better than anything he’s ever driven. BUT I swear they’re smoking huge fucking doobies and dropping monster hits of acid over at GM. That’s the only thing that can explain the SSR and abominations like the Pontiac Aztec. ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/19 "2001-10-02T10:32:06Z")
I finally got rid of my '80 Camaro in May. I felt nothing but relief… that car was definitely designed with southern California in mind, useless in winter. If I hadn’t been both poor and desperate for a car, I never would have taken ownership papers for the damn thing in the first place. I don’t mean to bite the hand that transferred the car to me for only a token payment, but keeerist, that car was an overpowered piece of rust that steered like a pig on ice… ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849/20 "2001-10-02T14:12:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by apotheosis \* > \*\*…they’re expecting [THIS](http://www.chevrolet.com/ssr/images/main/home_major.jpg) to fill the gaping void left in our gas-guzzling, tire-screeching hearts. > > Keep your namby-pamby little SSR, General Motors. Make mine a [Hummer](http://www.joecartoon.com/cartoons/genocide.html). \*\* Jesus Murphy, that’s a terrible car. It looks like a character in a children’s program about anthropomorphic cars, like a sequel to “Thomas the Tank Engine.” Maybe “Willie the Wimpy Car.” I note that according to the MSNBC story, one of the replacements for the Camaro and Firebird will be the “Vibe GT.” Excuse me? I’ve never even heard of the “Vibe GT,” but I figured “Boy, that sounds like one stupid car.” And sure, enough, it is. It’s a fucking compact car. LOOK at this [peice of shit!](http://www.potce.com/Cat1/01/Autos/SUVs/vibe.htm) YOU CAN’T REPLACE A CAMARO WITH A GODDAMN PSEUDO-VW RABBIT!!! According to the press hype, this automotive turd is a “mini SUV.” If anyone is stupid enough to fall for such a ridiculous line of bullshit, I’m going to start selling kites as “mini jetliners” and rowboats as “mini missile cruisers.” I’m sorry, but just because it’s got a hatchback does not make it a jeep. It’s a Civic, but uglier. It looks like a big yellow cockroach. Oh, and its so comforting to know that GM is proudly releasing this ridiculous vehicle with a big honkin’ Toyota four-cylinder engine. Great; now ours cars are being designed by Germans and powered by Japanese engines. I wonder if GM will bomb Pearl Harbor next? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-admitted-neanderthal-laments/83849.md?page=2)