# A Self-Made Man? **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [July 6, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-made-man/363305 "2006-07-06T02:16:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 4\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![XaMcQ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/f9ae1b/32.png) [@XaMcQ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XaMcQ)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-made-man/363305/21 "2006-07-09T22:33:04Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > I don’t know. I just get the impression that the vast majority of the SDMB are more likely to be the types of people who hate McMansions and SUVs than to be the type who live in them. Perhaps a topic for another thread. > > Maybe. On the one hand it’s a competetive world and I think it’s foolish to turn down a helping hand. On the other hand, such strings often have strings of their own attached. For example: our intern is the boyfriend of the daughter of one of our Partners. I’m like, hope you like her because you know you’re stuck with her for the summer. And you better be careful how you act when out drinking with the guys after work because it’s bound to get back to her. And I hope you like this company come graduation time because I’m sure the GF and daddy will want you to come here. I think it’s possible to dislike SUVs and McMansions without it being envy. I don’t envy competitive eaters either. But I agree with you on your second point. That is one of the primary reasons I turn down and don’t seek out favors whenever I can avoid it. There are strings attached. The more favors you accept from people, the more power you give them over your life. When I was a newlywed, my parents generously offered to help us make a downpayment on a home, but they wanted a say over where we would be living. I didn’t care to give them that much power over me and my husband, however much I do love them. We lived in apartments until we earned enough on our own to buy a home. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with accepting help from your friends and family if you want to, if you are willing to accept the potential problems. I’m saying that if you do accept a sizable amount of help, don’t go around pretending you somehow pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps, and if you happen to see people failing to get ahead, don’t pretend they would be in your shoes if they weren’t just [ne’er-do-wells.](http://www.freesearch.co.uk/dictionary/ne'erdowell) ---
**Author:** ![Burrido](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Burrido](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Burrido)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2006, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-made-man/363305/22 "2006-07-09T22:41:29Z")
> [@XaMcQ](#): > > Mr. McQ works for a guy who is always describing himself as a ‘self-made man’. Heh, wonder if we work for the same guy. His boss have a statue depicting a half naked and really buffed version of himself carving himself out of stone that he put in the front of his office? The owner of my company loves to stress that same BS. The reality is that he received a fat inheritance (rumor in the tens of millions) and started up his company. I’ll give him props though, it is very sucessful. ---
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2006, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-made-man/363305/23 "2006-07-10T14:40:30Z")
> [@XaMcQ](#): > > I think it’s possible to dislike SUVs and McMansions without it being envy. I dislike SUVs because they create dangerous blind spots for anybody driving a normal car. McMansions just look silly. > [@](#): > > But I agree with you on your second point. That is one of the primary reasons I turn down and don’t seek out favors whenever I can avoid it. There are strings attached. The more favors you accept from people, the more power you give them over your life. “If you would only learn to flatter Dionysius, you wouldn’t have to live on lentils.” “If you would only learn to live on lentils, you wouldn’t have to flatter Dionysius.” –comeback by Diogenes the Cynic (the original one) ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2006, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-made-man/363305/24 "2006-07-12T04:32:48Z")
My dad fits my definition of “self made man.” He came from a lower middle class background, small town, etc. He had an accident at age 17 that left him blind in one eye and light sensitive in the other. He also had a drinking/drug problem. He went to a trade school for a few years after graduation and then decided it wasn’t for him. Instead, he started his own painting business which originally consisted of painting barns, fences, houses, and whatever anybody would hire him for. He worked about 80 hours a week for the first 15 years or so. Eventually, the business took off, but it was still a struggle. As he got more successfull he expanded his business to include commercial painting projects. Then as that progressed he took a big risk and moved us all down to south Florida to test his luck there. That turned out to be a very wise move and for the last 15 years he has successfully ran painting businesses in Florida and here in Indiana. My dad had little to no help from family, went through considerable personal hardship, and worked his ass off for many years. So, overcoming hardship, working hard, having novel ideas, and being very persistent took him from relative poverty to not ever having to worry about money again. And he’s only 55. You aren’t “self-made” if anyone paid your way. I, for instance, do very well in my various occupations, but I can’t claim to be self-made because I have had a lot of help along the way. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-made-man/363305.md?page=1)