# A self-rescue MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605 "2013-05-06T08:50:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/41 "2013-05-06T18:10:10Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > She was **Swampy** > > She took in foster kids, collected food and furniture for the homeless, ran a day care up until a few years ago, traveled all over Europe and was always smiling and enthusiastic about life. > She was only 86, if you’d met her you would have thought she was years younger. > She accepted life and people as they come, had a generous heart and rolled with the punches with style and grace. > > She was a beautiful woman, both inside and out. Wow. Sounds like she touched many people. You have my condolences for your loss. * * * I don’t want to jinx it, but it looks like the house in Idaho sold this weekend. There are still many inspections and adjustments to deal with, so it’s possible that it could fall through. But after 4 counter offers back and forth we have agreed on a price and signed the papers. Adjustments include getting a survey finished. Years ago (no clue how many) my folks sold or deeded a zig in their north property line to their neighbor. The surveyor submitted a revised plat (map) to the county but did not submit a revised legal description. The realtor has found the surveyor and now we need to squeeze him until he coughs up the legals. ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/42 "2013-05-06T18:43:53Z")
I didn’t get my hair cut, but I did get two more Oz books and a new embroidery hoop and a pair of red-handled sewing scissors. The package says they’re orange-handled, but they look red. Red-orange. They are for FABRIC ONLY. If anyone uses my red-handled scissors to cut paper there will be Consequences. I also went up the mountain, so I’m very tired now. Am contemplating chili for lunch. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/43 "2013-05-06T19:10:55Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > They are for FABRIC ONLY. If anyone uses my red-handled scissors to cut paper there will be Consequences. I recall several brushes with death in my youth. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/44 "2013-05-06T19:11:27Z")
[QUOTE=SpazCat] They are for FABRIC ONLY. If anyone uses my red-handled scissors to cut paper there will be Consequences. [/QUOTE] I saw something on Facebook from a local quilting and fabric store that was ingenious in its simplicity. Someone padlocked their scissors handles. Not so they don’t wander away, but so they can’t be opened and used for cutting paper, hair, zip-ties, or anything else that will ruin good fabric scissors. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/45 "2013-05-06T20:17:30Z")
Irk, irk, irk. Today’s my Thursday, and it was a quiet weekend, so things are remarkably stress-free. Currently obsessing about what video game to buy next… I just bought Guild Wars 2, and that was a total wash. Thinking of picking up Bordlerands 2, but also looking at Defiance, if it turns out not to be incomparably lame. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/46 "2013-05-06T20:20:53Z")
> [@TheFaerie](#): > > Aw shucks… Y’all makin me blush. The thread should be titled MMT for Monday Morning Typos. It was an excellent and most appropriate typo and I predict it will become a staple of the MMP! 😃 Home with a fried brain and a runny nose. It’s drizzly and there’s rain headed our way from the south. Supper will be poke chops an whatever I pull out for sides. And bedtime will be early tonight. I’s tahred!! ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/47 "2013-05-06T20:24:37Z")
Why does fax still live? The fax server at SIL’s office was misbehaving. Turns out the power settings on the stupid thing were to go to sleep after 30 minutes, and the external fax modem (a pox on those too!) doesn’t wake the computer. Set sleep to never, and all is well, even if antiquated. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/48 "2013-05-06T20:30:12Z")
is there a dance or something I can do to make this thing come any faster? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/49 "2013-05-06T20:43:24Z")
one day down, four more to go. But I’ll be getting my media on Wednesday! Yay! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/50 "2013-05-06T20:47:00Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > is there a dance or something I can do to make this thing come any faster? Jumping jacks? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/51 "2013-05-06T21:09:24Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > I recall several brushes with death in my youth. I used my mom’s pinking shears to cut paper once. I don’t remember the rest of that day, but it scarred me so much that I will not under any circumstances use the red-handled paper scissors in the office for anything. I will use the crappy black-handled scissors on the desk instead. > [@gotpasswords](#): > > I saw something on Facebook from a local quilting and fabric store that was ingenious in its simplicity. Someone padlocked their scissors handles. Not so they don’t wander away, but so they can’t be opened and used for cutting paper, hair, zip-ties, or anything else that will ruin good fabric scissors. Exactly. Mine are for cutting Aida cloth, which is more of a pain in the ass than you’d think for something that’s a grid. > [@April\_R](#): > > is there a dance or something I can do to make this thing come any faster? Last time I saw Older Sister before Oldest Nephew was born, she was bouncing her fist off her stomach, saying “Maybe if I create a hostile environment this kid will come out.” ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/52 "2013-05-06T22:11:31Z")
Supper was yum. Tahred continues. Chocolate levels dangerously low. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/53 "2013-05-06T22:15:55Z")
> [@SpazCat](#): > > Last time I saw Older Sister before Oldest Nephew was born, she was bouncing her fist off her stomach, saying “Maybe if I create a hostile environment this kid will come out.” Hahahahahahahahaha. Classic ---
**Author:** ![Spiderman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spiderman/32/230_2.png) [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/54 "2013-05-06T22:51:08Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > :eek: _ **THE HORROR!!!** _ :eek: Let this be a lesson to all of you! Anything less than an unopened twelve pack is a tp emergency! Anything less than an unopened twelve pack is a [del]tp emergency[/del] \*\* BEERMERGENCY\*\*!!! **Cap’n** , if sanity was a requirement for posting the MMP would be pretty thin! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 11:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/55 "2013-05-06T23:02:18Z")
Sanity is overrated. And on that note, I’m going to assume the knit position. _ **MWAH!!** _ ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 11:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/56 "2013-05-06T23:06:45Z")
> [@Germy](#): > > This weekend I baked Incredibly Stinky Liver Dog Treats for the dogs, and they think the world revolves around me. This stuff smells so bad I moved my toaster oven to the back porch and cooked them out there. They don’t stink too much after cooking, though. I also baked some beautiful loaves of bread. Not in the same oven at the same time I hope. 😃 However, Stinky Liver Dog Treats Bread would be a good band name. **sari** she sounds like somebody I would have loved to have known. **Yeller** appropriate/inappropriate appendages crossed for impendin’ house sale. **Apes** YP’s wife swears the eggplant parmesan she ate eight hours before Ms. Ella was born did the trick. One funny thing about that is Ms. Ella will eat just about anything but eggplant parmesan. Seriously, the child eats stuff like beets, chick peas, rutabagas ::shudder:: fart blossoms ::shudder:: and all manner of other things one would not think a two year old would eat. Yay for impendin’ media connections **Rosie**! **Spidey** I just assume everybody knows the requirements for appropriate amounts of beer on hand. Dindin was teh yummy! Plus, leftovers for tomorrow. YAY! I even have a beastloaf and mac 'n cheese all ready to be baked for tomorrow’s dindin. Plus, I took some field peas with snaps outta da freezer and have ‘em on cookin’ now so’s all I need to do is heat 'em up tomorrow. I feel so culinary right now! I like Moanday and irk eeek. Two great new Mumper terms! ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2013, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/57 "2013-05-06T23:53:16Z")
[I just bought this](http://www.amazon.com/Philips-AVENT-Free-Electric-Breast/dp/B004HFQOLS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1367884370&sr=8-2&keywords=dual+breastpump+electric). I feel like a diary cow, haha ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/58 "2013-05-07T00:23:49Z")
> [@April\_R](#): > > [I just bought this](http://www.amazon.com/Philips-AVENT-Free-Electric-Breast/dp/B004HFQOLS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1367884370&sr=8-2&keywords=dual+breastpump+electric). I feel like a diary cow, haha Whenever I give tours of our high-tech milking parlor, I can always tell if there are women who’ve used breast pumps in the group. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/59 "2013-05-07T00:27:36Z")
hahaha, do they wince? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/60 "2013-05-07T00:48:14Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **Spidey** I just assume everybody knows the requirements for appropriate amounts of beer on hand. More. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605.md?page=4)