# A self-rescue MMP **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** mmp\ **Created:** [May 6, 2013, 8:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605 "2013-05-06T08:50:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/101 "2013-05-07T15:37:59Z")
Still waiting on coworker… :rolleyes: I want him to get done so I don’t have to come in tomorrow. Worst case - I’ll email the document home to myself and edit it there. Lunch was meh - I should have packed something better. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/102 "2013-05-07T15:40:55Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I didn’t know there is a way to measure pain levels. > I didn’t know one had to be at a certain level of pain to give birth. > > Don’t you just love it when somebody else says you aren’t experiencing enough pain? > Don’t you want to wallop them so they can feel your pain? Bill Cosby says the only way to experience the pain of childbirth is to take your bottom lip and pull it over your head. I have not experienced either pain, but I’ll take his word for it. I forgot to set my alarm last night so I woke up at 6:30, uttered A Profanity, dashed into the bathroom, dashed out the door, and got into irk on time anyway. I highly recommend the [Unf\*k Your Morning checklist](http://unfuckyourhabitat.tumblr.com/) because that’s the only way I got out the door on time. For the record, I can get dressed and made up and everything in ten minutes flat. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/103 "2013-05-07T15:43:34Z")
> [@sahirrnee](#): > > I didn’t know there is a way to measure pain levels. > I didn’t know one had to be at a certain level of pain to give birth. > > Don’t you just love it when somebody else says you aren’t experiencing enough pain? > Don’t you want to wallop them so they can feel your pain? Pretty much wanted to punch someone ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/104 "2013-05-07T15:59:51Z")
_zoooooom_ _::screeeeee::_ [Beware!](http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/07/cicada_insect_horde/) _zoooooom_ ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/105 "2013-05-07T16:09:07Z")
> [@llcoolbj77](#): > > My first post in an MMP! > > Sorry April. I hope the monkey comes soon. > > What a crappy, rainy Tuesday. Need coffee. Must also brush up on MMP jargon. Blurf!?! Welcome **Coolio**! First thing you will discover is you will get some dumbass nickname. Second, there is a handy [FAQ](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=627530) that explains much here. Third, you will find this place is much like a bar. There are several conversations going on at the same time across each other, so trying to make sense of it all can be difficult at times, but it doesn’t really matter because it’s really just nice inane talk between friends and we keep it real nice and don’t argue much and have way too many inside jokes and people sometimes wander in & out over the weeks and all that kinda crap. But the big no-no is run on sentences. Don’t do those. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/106 "2013-05-07T16:13:01Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > _zoooooom_ > _::screeeeee::_ > > [Beware!](http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/07/cicada_insect_horde/) > > _zoooooom_ Yet another lamestream media “We’re all gonna DIE!!!” story. ETA: Anyone know if cicadas make good crappie bait? ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/107 "2013-05-07T16:17:46Z")
> [@Jynxster](#): > > French fries and an eggroll and a diet coke is too a nutricious and delicious lunch! There are veggies in the eggroll. ---
**Author:** ![Sahirrnee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sahirrnee/32/13937_2.png) [@Sahirrnee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sahirrnee)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/108 "2013-05-07T16:25:23Z")
> [@anyrose](#): > > _zoooooom_ > _::screeeeee::_ > > [Beware!](http://www.theregister.co.uk/2013/05/07/cicada_insect_horde/) > > _zoooooom_ I remember the last time we had them. The noise. One of dogs I watched didn’t want to go out because of the noise. UGH! Is it really going to happen again? ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/109 "2013-05-07T16:25:34Z")
> [@VunderBob](#): > > Yet another lamestream media “We’re all gonna DIE!!!” story. > > ETA: Anyone know if cicadas make good crappie bait? Damn media. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/110 "2013-05-07T16:35:02Z")
I saw a news article about “Brood 2” of the cicadas, and how if they were laid nose to tail, so to speak, they’d reach from the Earth to the Moon, and then some. :eek: I forget how many, but they were describing the bug population that’s about to hatch in Carl Sagan-esque numbers. When did amusement parks get so expensive? I was hoping to go to Carowinds and try out their roller coasters before I’m laid out with back surgery. Just to get there, it’s $15.00 to park. They don’t even charge for parking at Great America near San Francisco, which is near the global nexus of expensive parking. For fifteen bucks, they could at least wash the cars. Then, it’s $57 each to get into the park. On the broad assumption that there’s no sales tax being charged, a day with the roller coasters will cost me $129, and that’s without having any lunch. The last time I was at a park, (about 5 years ago) the in-park Subway shop was charging $12 for what’s ordinarily a $5 footlong, so even eating lightly, we’re probably looking at another $40. \ I think I’ll figure out some other way to spend $169. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/111 "2013-05-07T16:35:59Z")
Yeah - them media folks, they’re all sneaky liars with their pants on fire - that’s how you can recognize them in a crowd. 😃 STILL waiting on coworker, even after his boss told him it needed to be done today and after I just asked him to at least give me a copy of what he’s done so far so I can go over it. I do not like him, Sam I Am, I’ll beat him with green eggs and ham! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/112 "2013-05-07T16:37:44Z")
> [@Jynxster](#): > > Morning all, > > Welcome to Jynxster’s Pro Tip Tuesdays: If you are ever going to throw a pair of capri jean pants across the room in the general direction of the trashcan, please make sure then celing fan is off or you have a lower arc. Otherwise, you will break a blade. Oops. Haven’t done that. Did once have a growing teenager yawn and stretch in the front room, sending his fist up into the fan with the same effect. That was the one who did his growing in big bursts. Surprised the heck out of him. Aw, **Apes**. Are the contractions still happening? Cause it might just be a super slow delivery. As long as the pain level is low, those aren’t bad. Kinda distracted this morning. I’m taking a week and a half off, with Friday my last day working. Need to clear my desk by then and need to prioritize to do that. Maybe a little chocolate will help me focus. ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/113 "2013-05-07T16:39:03Z")
The cicadas were out in force in ye olde hometowne year before last. I’m told they were of the thirteen year variety. Dang noisy things! Sounded like a buncha diesel engines on idle. Apparently this brood will be spread pretty much all over the east coast. Dont’ think they’ll be around these parts however. **BBBobbio** if the ugly things don’t scare the crap outta the crappies they could be good bait. At best you’ll do the world a favor by drownin’ some of the creepy, noisy bugs. Welcome **coolio**! Send chawklit to **MOOOOOOM** , beerverages to me and always have plenty of tp on hand and you’ll be good to go here. There’s a rumor goin’ around I’m gay. I’m not sure but I think the fact that I have a boyfriend causes said rumor to be ongoin’. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Capt\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/779978/32.png) [@Capt\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/114 "2013-05-07T16:42:47Z")
Well the day of welding at the shop cancelled and I am being a bum. Hanging out at the corporate coffee shop and chilling on the dope. **Apes** sorry about the delay of apelet **tugig** didn’t notice the zombie and thought you broke your heel, oops I need to read better. **Coolio** welcome, I think \*\*Spidey \*\*has the goat and **bobbio** has the squid, prepare yourself, also you will need at least a 12 pack of tp and coasters. Hi everyone Just sent a text to cute redhead 🙂 **Jim** ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/115 "2013-05-07T16:47:49Z")
> [@](#): > > Aw, **Apes**. Are the contractions still happening? Cause it might just be a super slow delivery. As long as the pain level is low, those aren’t bad. > > . Pretty much. I relish the thought that I will be laboring through my training presentation on Thursday ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/116 "2013-05-07T16:56:27Z")
> [@Capt\_Kirk](#): > > **Coolio** welcome, I think \*\*Spidey \*\*has the goat and **bobbio** has the squid, prepare yourself, also you will need at least a 12 pack of tp and coasters. Jim, I believe the initiation ritual has been upgraded to kittens. That’s what you get for missing staff meetings. ---
**Author:** ![April\_R](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@April\_R](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/April_R)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/117 "2013-05-07T16:59:17Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Jim, I believe the initiation ritual has been upgraded to kittens. > That’s what you get for missing staff meetings. He can bring me some pitocin ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/118 "2013-05-07T17:00:42Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > STILL waiting on coworker, even after his boss told him it needed to be done today and after I just asked him to at least give me a copy of what he’s done so far so I can go over it. I do not like him, Sam I Am, I’ll beat him with green eggs and ham! 😛 Wait, what? Working today? I missed that part. Congrats - I guess? I think you’re like me: yes I want the money, no I really don’t want to work. So _Good, you’re working today!_ - or - _Sorry to hear you’re working today_ Your choice. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/119 "2013-05-07T17:01:11Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Jim, I believe the initiation ritual has been upgraded to kittens. > That’s what you get for missing staff meetings. Not yet it hasn’t. I still have unused squid. ---
**Author:** ![Filbert](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/filbert/32/3433_2.png) [@Filbert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Filbert)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2013, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605/120 "2013-05-07T17:04:46Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **nuts** I saw a buncha people takin’ some kind of test here at the career center yestiddy. They looked so excitated! 😃 Have I mentioned my orifice is located in a career center, aka the employment office, aka the job centre? Notice how I spelled center all funnylike just for you. I’ve been spending so much time online with all you funny foreigners, I can’t remember how we’re supposed to spell centre any more. I just pick a random variant… I can still spell couluour properly though 😛 The jobcentres here don’t actually deal with _jobs_, they just deal with benefit claims, silly paperwork, and rules that change every week. They’re so massively oversubscribed that they just cut out or outsourced all the training and actual assistance in finding a job that they’re supposedly doing, because they don’t have time to do that and process all the paperirk. I’m very glad I don’t work in one. They are not nice places. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-self-rescue-mmp/657605.md?page=7)