# A shopping list guaranteed to raise the cashier's eyebrows... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 17, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950 "2003-05-17T22:14:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/1 "2003-05-17T22:14:09Z")
Inspired by the current pit rant to which I can’t be bothered linking. Wrtie a shopping list of no more than five items (that you would expect to find in a modern mega-store), the juxtaposition of which is most likely to cause the cashier to blush, raise his/her eyebrows or avoid eye contact. For example: A roll of duct tape A tube of KY jelly A cucumber ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/2 "2003-05-17T22:21:43Z")
A bottle of chocolate syrup A feather duster A box of gerbil food ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Joe\_Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Random)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/3 "2003-05-17T22:27:11Z")
A box of latex gloves A jar of Vaseline A funnel ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/4 "2003-05-17T22:29:29Z")
At your friendly neighborhood Wal-Mart… Shovel Rope Ammo Tarp Cheetos ('cause the cashier is certainly going to ask what the Cheetos are for…) ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/5 "2003-05-17T22:34:46Z")
Vegetable oil (largest size container available) Whipped cream Garden hose A Twister game Dog biscuits ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/6 "2003-05-17T22:35:24Z")
Bag of Quicklime Food Processor Hair Dye Copy of “The Cat in the Hat” Bottle of Acyclovir Bottle of Canker-Sore Ointment I could probably come up with a few things that I’ve actually sold, too… A copy of some white-supremist book, on special order by a fellow with a red “Celtic Cross”/“Zodiac Symbol” pin. A large stack of women’s thongs, each one having to be detached from an anti-theft magnet, and have the special sale price entered.:o ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 10:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/7 "2003-05-17T22:42:36Z")
I had a guy stand in line in front of me who was wearing leather chaps, no shirt, lust leather tack and a leather ballcap. All he was buying was a bunch of bananas and a dozen roses. Hot date, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Calculus\_of\_Logic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/aeb1de/32.png) [@The\_Calculus\_of\_Logic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Calculus_of_Logic)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/8 "2003-05-17T23:04:22Z")
A poster of steve martin a map of california shotgun shells ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/9 "2003-05-17T23:18:51Z")
Micro-Chips Cooking Oil Vinegar A Goldfish ---
**Author:** ![delphica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9a140/32.png) [@delphica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/delphica)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2003, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/10 "2003-05-17T23:39:22Z")
These are ACTUAL items that I purchased last year. The cashier is probably still having nightmares. A box of tampons (hey, I needed them) Eight boxes of condoms (we were decorating for a bachelorette party) A tube of Prepartation H (there’s a beauty tip that says Prep H will reduce the redness that sometimes lingers after a zit, and we thought we’d give this a go prior to the wedding photos being taken. I’m sorry to report it didn’t work very well.) ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/11 "2003-05-18T01:50:21Z")
I was thinking the same thing when I read that thread in the pit. Here’s my try: case of Fleet enemas gallon of castor oil tarp drain auger/snake giant bale of paper towels ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/12 "2003-05-18T01:57:12Z")
Five gallons of Wesson oil Roll of plastic sheeting five jars of peanut butter (three chunky, two creamy) large bag of cat litter turkey baster ---
**Author:** ![ghandi5569](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d26b3c/32.png) [@ghandi5569](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ghandi5569)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/13 "2003-05-18T03:09:18Z")
A toilet brush googly eyes An oar (just one) spray cheese sheer thong underwear ---
**Author:** ![DarkPrince](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ce73a5/32.png) [@DarkPrince](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DarkPrince)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/14 "2003-05-18T03:29:58Z")
Two huge tubs of axle grease A box of latex gloves One Mickey Mouse Halloween costume. A broomstick. On a related note, an ex-girlfriend and I once went Christmas shopping and ended up coming to the counter with an inflatable sheep, a GWAR video, a hot water bottle, and approximately twenty Hello Kitty stuffed animals. We could tell the cashier was using every ounce of her control to not ask what the hell we were planning. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ashkicker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4bbf92/32.png) [@Ashkicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashkicker)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/15 "2003-05-18T03:43:56Z")
Penthouse (current issue) 1/5 Jose Cuervo Pipe Screens Tylenol ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/16 "2003-05-18T04:05:14Z")
one-use disposible enema kit toothbrush blank videotapes ---
**Author:** ![tolyri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@tolyri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tolyri)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/17 "2003-05-18T04:41:53Z")
I once went to Meijer at 2:00 am and purchased: a block of cheese a casette single underwear hair mousse fish food I got a few raised eyebrows. ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/18 "2003-05-18T04:45:11Z")
a box of condoms a quart of motor oil a shoe horn pack of cigarettes can of Red Bull Johnny Mathis CD ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/19 "2003-05-18T04:47:54Z")
I’d get through the 5 or less aisle, because the Red Bull doesn’t count since it was an “impulse purchase”. ---
**Author:** ![zoogirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b9bd4f/32.png) [@zoogirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoogirl)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950/20 "2003-05-18T05:33:11Z")
Rope Garbage bags Duct tape Very large roasting pan Hatchet And I would HOPE the cashier would nip out and get my licence plate number! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-shopping-list-guaranteed-to-raise-the-cashiers-eyebrows/175950.md?page=2)