# A skilled swordsman with a Samurai sword vs a charging Kodiak Bear...

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 9, 2007, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345 "2007-01-09T22:51:06Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\
**Post date:** [January 11, 2007, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/41 "2007-01-11T14:18:12Z")

</div>

This Thread has obviously inspied people the World over.

> **[BBC NEWS | UK | England | Tyne | Police hunting mystery swordsman](http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/tyne/6251079.stm)**
>
> Police seek a man carrying a sword who came to the aid of officers threatened by a man with a knife.

> [@](#):
>
> The officers were threatened by a man with a knife after they discovered armed men trying to break into a house in Laygate, South Shields.
> 
> Another man armed with a samurai sword appeared and attacked the man with the knife, before leaving the scene.

And, since there are few Bears roaming the streets of the UK, they are warming-up on Burglars. 🙂

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![domgor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@domgor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/domgor)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/42 "2016-12-20T16:49:15Z")

</div>

Average samurai with average katana would have slim chance.

However, master samurai, of good enough speed and strength would win if

- has well-forged folded steel katana (the swords tested by cutting dead cow in half and also slicing regular metal sword like a bamboo)
- apply the right strategy, similar as he would defend against charging armed horseman (step aside and cut horse legs)

Frontal confrontation with raging bear, would be, of course nonsense, the strategy should be to step fast enough and do lightning cuts to the targets like bear paws or snout. Once samurai is able to step on the side of the bear, the strike to the neck would finalize the fight. This strategy is how smaller predators fight large ones, e.g. wolverine against bear or lion against hippo, and has been taught in Budo, Aikijutsu and Aikido. Keys are haragei, sensing bear’s intent and avoid it, and of course, ability to fast stepping aside and fast and strong cuts. It would be difficult even for trained figther to do this (even though it would give them fighting chance), but I would bet on Myamoto Musash or Morihei Uyeshiba (not to mention Obi Van Kenobi :-)) against any animal predator.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/43 "2016-12-20T17:11:06Z")

</div>

The samurai only has a chance if the bear stops to kneel and say “bless us, oh Lord, and these thy gifts which we are about to receive…”

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/44 "2016-12-20T17:12:05Z")

</div>

I think this forgets that a samurai’s sword was not his only weapon and a samurai who sees a charging bear and decides to pull out his sword is not the smartest guy in the bunch. They were skilled archers and also used polearms either of which would work better against a bear than his sword would.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/45 "2016-12-20T17:21:12Z")

</div>

> [@Sleel](#):
>
> That famous cavalry charge in Poland during WWII was made by guys armed with sabers

[Ahem](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charge_at_Krojanty).

> [@](#):
>
> At 0800, the Germans broke through Polish Border Guard units south of the Polish cavalry, which forced the Polish units in the area to start a retreat towards a secondary defence line at the river Brda (Brahe). 18th Pomeranian Uhlan Regiment (18. Pułk Ułanów Pomorskich) was ordered to cover the retreat.
> 
> **The battle**
> 
> The 18th Pomeranian Uhlans spotted a group of German infantry resting in a clearing in the Tuchola Forest heath near the railroad crossroads of Chojnice – Runowo Pomorskie line.
> 
> Colonel Kazimierz Mastalerz decided to take the enemy by surprise and ordered Eugeniusz Świeściak, commander of the 1st squadron, to execute a cavalry charge at 1900 hours, leading two squadrons, about 250 strong. Most of the two other squadrons, and their TKS/TK-3 tankettes, were held back in reserve.
> 
> The charge was successful: the German infantry unit was dispersed, and the Poles occupied the clearing. However, German armored reconnaissance vehicles appeared from the forest road, probably part of Aufklärungs-Abteilung 20, and soon the Polish units came under heavy machine gun fire, probably from Leichter Panzerspähwagen equipped with MG 34, or Schwerer Panzerspähwagen equipped also with a 20 mm gun. The Poles were completely exposed and began to gallop for cover behind a nearby hillock.[5]
> 
> Commander Świeściak was killed, as was Mastalerz, who tried to save him. About a third of the Polish force was dead or wounded. On the other hand, the German advance was halted long enough to allow the withdrawal of Polish 1st Rifle battalion and National Defence battalion Czersk from the nearby battle of Chojnice.
> 
> The Polish cavalry charge impressed the Germans and caused a delay in the offensive of the German 20th Motorised Infantry Division which considered a tactical retreat. This was however prevented by personal intervention of Gen. Guderian, who in his memoirs stated that he encountered his staff “wearing helmets, preparing an anti-tank gun for a possible Polish cavalry attack,”[6] and that “the panic of the first day of war was overcome quickly”.[7]

> [@](#):
>
> The Polish cavalry charge stopped the German pursuit for the day, and the units of Czersk Operational Group were able to withdraw southwards unopposed. Also, it took the Germans several hours to reorganise and continue the advance. On September 2, 1939, the 18th Pomeranian Uhlans Regiment was decorated by Gen. Grzmot-Skotnicki, the commander of the Operational Group, with his own Virtuti Militari medal for valour shown in this combat.
> 
> The same day, German war correspondents were brought to the battlefield, together with two journalists from Italy. They were shown the corpses of Polish cavalrymen and their horses, as well as German tanks that had arrived at the place after the battle. One of the Italian correspondents, Indro Montanelli, sent home an article, in which he described the bravery and heroism of Polish soldiers, who charged German tanks with sabres and lances. Although such a charge did not happen and there were no tanks used during the combat, the myth was used by German propaganda during the war. German propaganda magazine Die Wehrmacht reported on 13 September that the Poles had gravely underestimated German weapons, as Polish propaganda had suggested that German armored vehicles were only covered with sheet metal, leading to a grotesque attack. After the end of World War II, it was still used by Soviet propaganda as an example of stupidity of pre-war Polish commanders, who allegedly did not prepare their country for the war and instead wasted the blood of their soldiers. As late as the 1990s, this myth was still taught in history classes in American and British high schools and colleges.
> 
> George Parada states:[8]
> 
> ```
> Contrary to German propaganda, Polish cavalry brigades never charged tanks with their sabres or lances as they were equipped with anti-tank weapons such as 37 mm Bofors wz.36 (exported to UK as Ordnance Q.F. 37 mm Mk I) antitank guns, that could penetrate 26 mm of armour at 600 m at 30 degrees. The cavalry brigades were in the process of being reorganized into motorized brigades.
> 
> ```
> 
> The Poles also had the anti-tank rifle model 1935 (karabin przeciwpancerny wz. 35). Its calibre was 7.92 mm and it could penetrate 15 mm of armour at 300 m at 30 degrees. In 1939, the Germans were mainly equipped with the small Panzer I and Panzer II models, which were vulnerable to such weapons.

[Another article](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polish_cavalry#World_War_II)

> [@](#):
>
> Although the cavalrymen retained their Szabla wz. 1934 sabres, after 1937 the lance was dropped and it was issued to cavalrymen as a weapon of choice only. Instead, the cavalry units were equipped with modern armament, including 75 mm guns, tankettes, 37mm AT guns, 40mm AA guns, anti-tank rifles and other pieces of modern weaponry.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/46 "2016-12-20T17:59:10Z")

</div>

I’d bet on the bear.

But that being said the last Grizzly in Colorado was killed by a family friend, with an arrow, that he stabbed it with, and he [survived](http://denver.cbslocal.com/2012/05/23/man-recounts-a-fight-for-life-with-colorados-last-grizzly/).

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/channing_idaho_banks/32/250_2.png) [@Channing\_Idaho\_Banks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Channing_Idaho_Banks)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/47 "2016-12-20T18:04:12Z")

</div>

The only way to kill that bear would be too stab him in the eye and force the sword into his brain.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/48 "2016-12-20T18:10:50Z")

</div>

> [@Tamerlane](#):
>
> I don’t know what this documentary was ( The History Channel maybe? I’ve been less than impressed with some of their offerings ), but the above is just crap. There is nothing at all mystical about a samurai sword and they were not kings of the battlefield. They just became the object of a cult-like fascination in Japan ( that was then transplanted to the west in the late 20th century ) , one that was largely nurtured during the Tokugawa Shogunate, when battlefield combat pretty much disappeared.
> 
> As noted they aren’t designed to hack through armor, they aren’t designed for thrusting and a Kodiak’s thick hide would almost certainly guarantee against landing a mortal blow. You’d have to be one phenomenally lucky samurai ( or have an easily discouraged bear, which is much more likely ) to survive such an encounter.

Right, samurai swords were not all that great. A few of them, made by mastercraftsmen, the ones which lasted until today are pretty darn good, but a good spear would be better. And any decent bladesmith can make a blade today as good or better than the best samurai sword from centuries ago.

Now if the samurai was wearing his full armor, he might win. Otherwise, he’s gonna get in one really good hit, and be torn apart. Bear might bleed out later.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/49 "2016-12-20T18:22:15Z")

</div>

> [@domgor](#):
>
> Average samurai with average katana would have slim chance.
> 
> However, master samurai, of good enough speed and strength would win if
> 
> - has well-forged folded steel katana (the swords tested by cutting dead cow in half and also slicing regular metal sword like a bamboo)
> - apply the right strategy, similar as he would defend against charging armed horseman (step aside and cut horse legs)
> 
> Frontal confrontation with raging bear, would be, of course nonsense, the strategy should be to step fast enough and do lightning cuts to the targets like bear paws or snout. Once samurai is able to step on the side of the bear, the strike to the neck would finalize the fight. This strategy is how smaller predators fight large ones, e.g. wolverine against bear or lion against hippo, and has been taught in Budo, Aikijutsu and Aikido. Keys are haragei, sensing bear’s intent and avoid it, and of course, ability to fast stepping aside and fast and strong cuts. It would be difficult even for trained figther to do this (even though it would give them fighting chance), but I would bet on Myamoto Musash or Morihei Uyeshiba (not to mention Obi Van Kenobi :-)) against any animal predator.

I dont care if you have the best samurai sword made in period, they arent even as good as blades made today by masters.

And- bears aint horses.

Musashi was smart enough to\* not do this.\*

You want a fair fight vs the bear?

Full 15th century Condottieri foot knight plate, with a good half pike or similar pole arm.

The same guy who would defeat any samurai easily. Well, except those later period samurai who used guns.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![gytalf2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ac91a4/32.png) [@gytalf2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gytalf2000)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/50 "2016-12-20T18:28:09Z")

</div>

> [@DrDeth](#):
>
> Full 15th century Condottieri foot knight plate, with a good half pike or similar pole arm.
> 
> The same guy who would defeat any samurai easily. Well, except those later period samurai who used guns.

We did this one in 2005 (I started the thread) :

> **[Plate Armor vs. Grizzly Attack](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=301180)**
>
> Could a man in the finest plate armor of the late middle ages withstand a grizzly bear attack? If you gave him a decent polearm, say a halberd, would he have a decent chance of killing the beast? Or would the bear have a “knightly” feast?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/51 "2016-12-20T18:58:28Z")

</div>

> [@drewder](#):
>
> I think this forgets that a samurai’s sword was not his only weapon and a samurai who sees a charging bear and decides to pull out his sword is not the smartest guy in the bunch. They were skilled archers and also used polearms either of which would work better against a bear than his sword would.

Well, the OP doesn’t indicate the person holding the sword has a bow.

If our titular hero has just a sword - and it doesn’t matter how good a sword it is - he’s a dead man. He is especially a dead man with a samurai’s sword, which really is way worse suited for this purpose than would be a broadsword, which you could use as a sort of really short spear and pray for a miracle.

I am not convinced that a swordsman with a standard Japanese sword could kill a Kodiak or polar bear with a single swing, and a single swing is your absolute best hope because that sumbitch is going to hit you like a freight train. A Kodiak bear in full on charge can run as fast as as Olympic sprinting finalist and weighs as much as all the guys in the 100m final combined. The sheer impact of the bear hitting you will screw you up big time.

[QUOTE=domgor]  
apply the right strategy, similar as he would defend against charging armed horseman (step aside and cut horse legs)  
[/QUOTE]

This only works in movies. In real life a man on foot with a sword is hopelessly outmatched by a man on horseback.

In actual warfare the defense against cavalry is a mass of pikes/spears. That Braveheart trick is a great way to die gallantly and little else.

A bear is if anything MORE dangerous than a mounted soldier. Horses will not deliberately impale themselves on pikes, no matter how well trained they are; they will always balk. An enraged or very hungry bear - and bears are essentially always hungry - doesn’t give a damn what weapon you’re holding and will try to kill you anyway.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/52 "2016-12-20T20:33:19Z")

</div>

The Samurai’s best chance against the charging bear is to lie on the ground and play dead. It will be good practice for when the bear kills him a few moments later.

> [@RickJay](#):
>
> In actual warfare the defense against cavalry is a mass of pikes/spears. That Braveheart trick is a great way to die gallantly and little else.

I thought the “Braveheart trick” was a mass of pikes and spears?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/53 "2016-12-20T20:53:35Z")

</div>

You don’t remember the part where he cut the dude’s horses legs out from under it?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/54 "2016-12-20T22:41:56Z")

</div>

> [@RickJay](#):
>
> You don’t remember the part where he cut the dude’s horses legs out from under it?

That’s right. Robert the Bruce IIRC.

Morpheus did the same thing to a Cadillac Escalade in Matrix Reloaded.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Sterling\_Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Sterling\_Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterling_Archer)\
**Post date:** [December 20, 2016, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/55 "2016-12-20T22:51:25Z")

</div>

Brienne of Tarth took on a bear with a wooden sword. It was not going well though until that other guy jumped in to help. That brings up an interesting question actually… would throwing a handful of sand in a bear’s face slow it down at all?

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/56 "2016-12-21T02:22:28Z")

</div>

Back in the days, as told to Lewis and Clark, the indians would not take on a grizzly bear unless there were at least 5 of them and they preferred 10. So my bet would be on the bear.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/57 "2016-12-21T16:05:30Z")

</div>

First I’d try reasoning with the bear, and if that failed I would leap into the air and do a slow motion somersault in the air, and stab the bear from above. Then I’d land behind it in a crouch with one leg sticking out behind me.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/58 "2016-12-21T16:57:42Z")

</div>

Yes, the samurai sheathes his katana and braces his yari instead.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/59 "2016-12-21T17:13:08Z")

</div>

> [@Sage\_Rat](#):
>
> Way back in the time of the samurai, there was a powerful emperor. This emperor needed a new head samurai. So, he sent out a message to everybody he knew for them to send a message to who they knew, and so forth.
> 
> A year passes, and only three people show up: a Japanese samurai, a Chinese samurai, and a Jewish samurai. The emperor asks the Japanese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Japanese samurai opens up a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 2 pieces! The emperor says, “That is very impressive!”
> 
> Then the emperor asks the Chinese samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Chinese samurai opens up a matchbox and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOSH. WOOOOOOOSH. The fly drops dead on the ground in 4 pieces! The emperor says, “That is really impressive!”
> 
> Then the emperor asks the Jewish samurai to come in and demonstrate why he should be head samurai. The Jewish samurai thinks, “If it works for the other two…” So the Jewish samurai walks in, opens a matchbox, and out pops a little fly. WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSHHHH. A gust of wind fills the room, but the fly is still buzzing around. The emperor says in disappointment, “Why is the fly not dead?”
> 
> And the Jewish samurai replies, “If you look closely, you’ll see that the fly has been circumcised.”

One of my favorite samurai tales is within the definition of “scimitar” in **The Devil’s Dictionary** by Ambrose Bierce:

> [@](#):
>
> When the great Gichi-Kuktai was Mikado he condemned to decapitation Jijiji Ri, a high officer of the Court. Soon after the hour appointed for performance of the rite what was his Majesty’s surprise to see calmly approaching the throne the man who should have been at that time ten minutes dead!
> 
> “Seventeen hundred impossible dragons!” shouted the enraged monarch. “Did I not sentence you to stand in the market-place and have your head struck off by the public executioner at three o’clock? And is it not now 3:10?”
> 
> “Son of a thousand illustrious deities,” answered the condemned minister, “all that you say is so true that the truth is a lie in comparison. But your heavenly Majesty’s sunny and vitalizing wishes have been pestilently disregarded. With joy I ran and placed my unworthy body in the market-place. The executioner appeared with his bare scimitar, ostentatiously whirled it in air, and then, tapping me lightly upon the neck, strode away, pelted by the populace, with whom I was ever a favorite. I am come to pray for justice upon his own dishonorable and treasonous head.”
> 
> “To what regiment of executioners does the black-boweled caitiff belong?” asked the Mikado.
> 
> “To the gallant Ninety-eight Hundred and Thirty-seventh — I know the man. His name is Sakko-Samshi.”
> 
> “Let him be brought before me,” said the Mikado to an attendant, and a half-hour later the culprit stood in the Presence.
> 
> “Thou bastard son of a three-legged hunchback without thumbs!” roared the sovereign — “why didst thou but lightly tap the neck that it should have been thy pleasure to sever?”
> 
> “Lord of Cranes and Cherry Blooms,” replied the executioner, unmoved, “command him to blow his nose with his fingers.”
> 
> Being commanded, Jijiji Ri laid hold of his nose and trumpeted like an elephant, all expecting to see the severed head flung violently from him. Nothing occurred: the performance prospered peacefully to the close, without incident.
> 
> All eyes were now turned on the executioner, who had grown as white as the snows on the summit of Fujiama. His legs trembled and his breath came in gasps of terror.
> 
> “Several kinds of spike-tailed brass lions!” he cried; “I am a ruined and disgraced swordsman! I struck the villain feebly because in flourishing the scimitar I had accidentally passed it through my own neck! Father of the Moon, I resign my office.”
> 
> So saying, he grasped his top-knot, lifted off his head and advancing to the throne laid it humbly at the Mikado’s feet.

---

<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\
**Post date:** [December 21, 2016, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345/60 "2016-12-21T17:54:14Z")

</div>

> [@Urbanredneck](#):
>
> Back in the days, as told to Lewis and Clark, the indians would not take on a grizzly bear unless there were at least 5 of them and they preferred 10. So my bet would be on the bear.

Well, I agree, but the Indians had flint weapons.

[Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345.md?page=2)

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-skilled-swordsman-with-a-samurai-sword-vs-a-charging-kodiak-bear/387345.md?page=4)
