# A slight change in plans... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 30, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094 "2009-12-30T21:46:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/1 "2009-12-30T21:46:00Z")
Earlier this year, I had a shock to the system when my wife decided she wanted to sleep with other men, and then fell in love with a specific other man. There were a lot of enormously awful feelings that went along with that, the vast majority of which have been well-documented in previous threads. I’d pretty well sworn off the idea of having feelings for anyone again. Didn’t seem possible, and it certainly wasn’t desirable. And so, when another Doper reached out to me to offer some support during a difficult time, the idea of finding anything more than a friend was the furthest thing from my mind. I was just looking for someone to vent to about my experiences – someone who had also learned recently what it was like to suddenly lose a spouse. So we talked, and then we talked again, and we talked some more. And we found, much to both of our surprises, that we were enjoying each others’ company on the phone much more than we would have imagined. And, instead of getting sick of one another, that fondness grew and grew. As the holidays came nearer, and we knew we would both be facing the prospect of our first Christmases without our spouses, we thought that perhaps we’d do well to spend that time together and enjoy each others’ company in person. So we took a chance - we arranged to meet. Over Christmas weekend, I sat in Las Vegas with **jsgoddess** next to me, having found more than I’d hoped (and probably bargained) for. The phrase “expect the unexpected” seems particularly apt. We had a wonderful time together. We don’t have any way of knowing where this relationship may ultimately lead, and there are a lot of potential obstacles in the way of making this work smoothly. But regardless of what the future holds, I’m grateful for having found her during this time in my life. Here’s to starting over in 2010. Cheers! ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/2 "2009-12-30T21:54:13Z")
That’s fantastic! ---
**Author:** ![pbbth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f9ae1b/32.png) [@pbbth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pbbth)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/3 "2009-12-30T21:56:26Z")
Hooray! ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/4 "2009-12-30T21:57:30Z")
Woah! That _is_ unexpected, and great news! Here’s to new friendships! _clink_ ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/5 "2009-12-30T22:02:50Z")
Woah. AWESOME! ---
**Author:** ![StoutHearted](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@StoutHearted](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StoutHearted)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/6 "2009-12-30T22:04:22Z")
Aww, that sweet! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/7 "2009-12-30T22:04:48Z")
Show of hands, who ran over to the Gallery Thread? ETA: Rock on Dude! (and Dudess) ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/8 "2009-12-30T22:05:54Z")
Wishing you both the best of luck! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/9 "2009-12-30T22:07:44Z")
That is so awesome . . . for both of you! ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/10 "2009-12-30T22:09:59Z")
Wow, that’s so great! Happy New Year to you both! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/11 "2009-12-30T22:23:15Z")
Very nice. Good luck and Happy New Year! ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/12 "2009-12-30T22:27:15Z")
**Asimovian** , I’ve read your previous threads on your marriage…if even half was true of what you said, it was so awful. I don’t know if I could have pulled myself up out of similar circumstances. I’d still be going to work and the gym…but probably eating easymac and watching Judge Judy. Congrats on a new start 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/13 "2009-12-30T22:44:54Z")
Hurray!!! I am so glad for both of you! ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/14 "2009-12-30T22:52:50Z")
Wow, this post brought tears to my eyes. Wishing you the both the best, wherever this relationship takes you. ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/15 "2009-12-30T22:54:55Z")
I was hoping this was good news as I read the title… And it is! Congratulations to you both! ---
**Author:** ![dada2fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ccd318/32.png) [@dada2fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dada2fish)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/16 "2009-12-30T23:01:58Z")
Wow! I’m sitting here beaming from ear to ear. I’m glad you both found a bit of happiness out of all your heartache. Wishing you both a great new year. ---
**Author:** ![Paragod22510](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/b5ac83/32.png) [@Paragod22510](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paragod22510)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/17 "2009-12-30T23:12:26Z")
Bravo good sir. As you know, you are one of our closest friends. Your happiness means a lot to Nytewatchyr and myself. I’m glad you rolled the dice. You deserve greatness in your life. Because you are great. ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/18 "2009-12-30T23:43:05Z")
That is fantastic. I wish you both happiness and fulfillment! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2009, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/19 "2009-12-30T23:47:28Z")
Gosh, you’d think that someone who had met such a great person could have sent her a link to this thread. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)\ **Post date:** [December 31, 2009, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094/20 "2009-12-31T00:06:54Z")
Well! 😃 😃 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-slight-change-in-plans/523094.md?page=2)