# A Small Request from the Moderators **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 12, 2001, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681 "2001-01-12T11:39:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/1 "2001-01-12T11:39:14Z")
Dear Friends … There seems to be a trend recently which looks as if it’s causing some problems with the board. That is, the habit of posting “random noise” just to see how long a thread will become or how high one can get their post count to hit. Case in point: the recent “Threadkillers” thread which hit over a thousand posts, pretty much all not saying much except for seeing if they could be the final post in the thread. There’s not enough evidence to say that this is the specific problem, but during the last few days problems have been reported with board slowdowns. I closed the thread yesterday and almost immediately we got reports of things shifting back into high speed again. So the inference is there that this problem is what is causing some of the access problems for the board. So, before we get to the point where we feel we have to take official action, I asking if you could please keep things under control. Speaking for myself, post counts mean absolutely nothing. (I jokingly mentioned to the other mods that if I saw one more “Post Count Party” thread, I was going up to the clock tower with a sniper rifle.) Quality is what we’re looking for here, not quantity. If you have something to say by all means say it. But please also have some consideration for your fellow dopers who might also be trying to access the board. Thanks, Eutychus55 (who is more than a little cranky this morning) for The Straight Dope ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 11:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/2 "2001-01-12T11:43:13Z")
_Jokingly_. Sure, Euty - whatever you say. 🙂 Listen to the man, folks. We’re getting too popular for our own good, and your cooperation would really help us out. Thanks! ---
**Author:** ![SterlingNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8dc957/32.png) [@SterlingNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SterlingNorth)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/3 "2001-01-12T12:07:46Z")
I understand. I’ve been noticing some odd slowdowns, and didn’t know what was up. That’s a reasonable suggestion. In the UBB, when the boards were younger and slower, there were talks of trimming the fact by deleting or archiving some of the older useless threads, like what happens here or in ATMB. Whatever happened to those ideas? There could be several that could be good to eject via a courtesy flush of the boards, like “SterlingN’s eighth post party” or “SterlingN recks this thread.” Anyway, how much server space does it take to hold 55,000 threads, with about 100 or so active a day? It must be a lot. ---
**Author:** ![UncleBeer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/977dab/32.png) [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/4 "2001-01-12T12:09:14Z")
> [@](#): > > … going up to the clock tower with a sniper rifle. Let me know where to ship the ammo and your preferred caliber, Euty. ---
**Author:** ![Andy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/aeb1de/32.png) [@Andy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Andy)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/5 "2001-01-12T12:16:54Z")
Is this what you mean Euty? ::runs away _really_ fast:: ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/6 "2001-01-12T12:21:58Z")
Good points mods! I’ll have to remember them. ☹ Wait, now I’m going to be all paranoid before I post, thinking does this really need to be here? Do I really need to say this? Am I really contributing something of use? If I follow these new strict standards, I might never post again! Sniff. Good thing I have other outlets for my mundanity. Friends of Tracy, watch out, your inboxes are about to be _flooded_! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![THespos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8c91f0/32.png) [@THespos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/THespos)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/7 "2001-01-12T12:30:33Z")
I just licensed vBulletin for my site, and as I was reading through the documentation, I remember seeing something to the effect that searches were the most resource-intensive function. I can only imagine that the servers probably whimper when someone does a search on Handy. 😉 I think you’re right about the “let’s get our post count up” threads - that should probably be kept to a minimum. Maybe archiving/deleting some of these old threads per Sterling’s suggestion would speed things up a bit? Also, I set up my vBulletin with a separate, dedicated server for the mySQL database. Granted, my boards just got started out, and they’re for a closed, private community, but they’re lightning-fast with the dedicated database server. Also, the manual says that it recommends running PHP as an Apache module - doing it any other way also slows things down. Maybe checking into how this is set up might yield some additional speed? ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/8 "2001-01-12T12:35:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tatertot \* > \*\*Sniff. Good thing I have other outlets for my mundanity. Friends of Tracy, watch out, your inboxes are about to be _flooded_! \*\* Well,this is MPSIMS, sfter all. And mundane need not mean “meaningless” as some have taken it to mean. ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/9 "2001-01-12T12:37:32Z")
Yes, Euty, but I’m trying to do my part! From now on, no more threads about my belly button, my morning or how much I hate bagels. Plus, I really should e-mail people more… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/10 "2001-01-12T13:16:35Z")
No more bellybutton threads? It hardly makes sense to visit then… ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/11 "2001-01-12T13:35:01Z")
Correct me if I am wrong, but I don’t think they are saying “No more bellybutton or morning threads”. They just dont want anymore “Be the last poster to say something nice about my belly button and you win” thread. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/12 "2001-01-12T13:38:17Z")
Correct. In fact as someone said earlier, if we can’t read about tatertots navel, I just don’t see a reason for continuing here. ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/13 "2001-01-12T13:39:09Z")
Yup, nobody is saying that, this is my own idea. I’m just the only person on this board noble enough to give up her belly button threads so that others might have the opportunity to post ass crack threads. Damn, I’m a good person. ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/14 "2001-01-12T13:46:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > \*\* > Quality is what we’re looking for here, not quantity. \*\* Great. I spend the last year patiently building my post count up to a respectable amount and now I hear you want _quality_. I guess this is the last you’ll hear of me. [sub]Just kidding[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Blackclaw](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e68b1a/32.png) [@Blackclaw](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackclaw)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/15 "2001-01-12T13:47:49Z")
I strongly protest that idea, Tatertot. I have no interest in ass-crack threads. ---
**Author:** ![dewt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9dc877/32.png) [@dewt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dewt)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/16 "2001-01-12T14:10:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eutychus55 \* > **I jokingly mentioned to the other mods that if I saw one more “Post Count Party” thread, I was going up to the clock tower with a sniper rifle.** That’s easy for **you** to say. **You’ve** got more than 700 posts! :also flees, using **android209** as a human sheild: ---
**Author:** ![Bear\_Nenno](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bear_nenno/32/3358_2.png) [@Bear\_Nenno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bear_Nenno)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/17 "2001-01-12T14:45:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Blackclaw \* > \*\*I strongly protest that idea, Tatertot. I have no interest in ass-crack threads. \*\* This totally depends on _who’s_ ass-crack… ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/18 "2001-01-12T14:47:59Z")
Notice that I am doing my part by not posting to this threa…wait a minute… ---
**Author:** ![Fiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e274bd/32.png) [@Fiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fiver)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/19 "2001-01-12T15:01:43Z")
Well, here’s an idea, **Eutychus55** : Why not just reset all the post counts to zero? That’s right, zero everyone out, from **Satan** all the way down to, uh, someone who’s not even in the double digits. And re-zero them every month or so. Then no one will be obsessed with building their post counts anymore. ---
**Author:** ![tatertot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c37758/32.png) [@tatertot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tatertot)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2001, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681/20 "2001-01-12T15:06:08Z")
I don’t think that would work, because then people would get obsessed with trying to post the most in that one month. Can you imagine? And the way it is now, most people seem to mellow out after the first thousand or so posts. **Blackclaw** I am sorry, but my mind is made up. For the good of the board, no more tater-centric threads, ever. But I’m sure someone will post something about _their_ belly button soon. 🙂 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-small-request-from-the-moderators/49681.md?page=2)