# A somewhat crude question about overweight people. **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [August 11, 2009, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024 "2009-08-11T02:48:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Peanuthead](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peanuthead/32/360_2.png) [@Peanuthead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peanuthead)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/41 "2009-08-12T04:41:06Z")
> [@stpauler](#): > > [There are wands](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=crfGXmxJ1vM) that help reach the nether regions for wiping Hey, Vince here for **SHAM-WIPE**. You havin’ trouble wipin’ your ass? Try **SHAM-WIPE**! This thing is amazing! Lookadis. You put the wipe on the stick, you stick the stick in your ass and wipe it clean! Isdatamazingorwhat? You know the Germans make this stuff and you know how good the Germans are at wipin’ their asses. Now we can’t do dis all day so call now and we’ll include free of charge the amazing **SUPER DUPER POOP CHUTE VIEWPER** , the periscopic attachment that lets you see the \*\*SHAM-WIPE \*_doing its business while you’re doing your business. Only $19.95 +S/H_ \*Tongue biting prostitue not included. ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/42 "2009-08-12T04:55:42Z")
> [@picunurse](#): > > **Mahaloth** , your question is rude and bigoted. Are you curious about pretty girls’ bowel habits, or vets who’ve lost limbs in war or little people? No, because it’s not ok to ask, but somehow fat people are fair game. > > I believe the “tool” you’re thinking of was not from an ad on TV, but from an episode of _CSI_ and the “tool” was for an little person. Who, BTW mentioned it because she was offended by a personal question. > > Yes, I am obese. I mentioned pretty girls, because I was one before menopause. Are you curious about that? I’d be happy to tell you that. [Moderating] I don’t think this kind of post is particularly useful in GQ. If you have a problem with a post, and think it’s offensive, _report it to the moderators_. Colibri General Questions Moderator ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/43 "2009-08-12T05:32:15Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > I am sorry if you were offended. I tried, really hard, to avoid that. I thought my effort was obvious. It \*was \*obvious, to anyone who was not looking to find offense where there was none. ---
**Author:** ![Recliner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a88e57/32.png) [@Recliner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Recliner)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/44 "2009-08-12T08:41:52Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > That towel thread was _awesome_. I think about it every time I complain about a guest’s behavior. LINK!! ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/45 "2009-08-12T10:37:49Z")
> [@flyboy](#): > > I completely agree, and was very surprised at **picnurse’s** comment. Blame it on menopause… ---
**Author:** ![Other\_Dreams](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Other\_Dreams](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Other_Dreams)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/46 "2009-08-12T10:52:00Z")
> [@Peanuthead](#): > > Hey, Vince here for **SHAM-WIPE**. You havin’ trouble wipin’ your ass? Try **SHAM-WIPE**! This thing is amazing! Lookadis. You put the wipe on the stick, you stick the stick in your ass and wipe it clean! Isdatamazingorwhat? You know the Germans make this stuff and you know how good the Germans are at wipin’ their asses. Now we can’t do dis all day so call now and we’ll include free of charge the amazing **SUPER DUPER POOP CHUTE VIEWPER** , the periscopic attachment that lets you see the \*\*SHAM-WIPE \*_doing its business while you’re doing your business. > Only $19.95 +S/H_ > > \*Tongue biting prostitue not included. I am still laughing. 😃 ETA: For those still looking for a link on the towel thread. Someone up-thread has already provided one, but to be helpful, I shall quote them now: > [@L. G. Butts](#): > > Here you go: [Why would a person do this?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220523) ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/47 "2009-08-12T11:55:08Z")
> [@L. G. Butts](#): > > Here you go: [Why would a person do this?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220523) :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Gbro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Gbro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gbro)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/48 "2009-08-12T13:11:50Z")
> [@Beware\_of\_Doug](#): > > Am I reading you right? Sounds like you’re hoping the guy is dead because he smelled like ass. 😕 Or you’re just fond of [non sequiturs](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non_sequitur). My very large friend passed on about 10 years ago. (45y’s) I will add that the fire department had to assist at the residence, hospital and mortuary. At the service, the urn that held his cremains wasn’t big enough to hold his heart. That was the impressive thing about him. he had a heart big enough(figuratively) for 2 people his size. (600+). (He died from septic shock). ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/49 "2009-08-12T18:27:44Z")
> [@L. G. Butts](#): > > Here you go: [Why would a person do this?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=220523) Wow. I mean…wow! ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/50 "2009-08-12T21:40:24Z")
I apologize. My newly gained obesity has me a bit sensitive. It isn’t menopause, but my generation. I was taught that bowel habits were _never_ discussed in polite society. My family has a tale that my great-great grandmother, upon seeing the first [hobbleskirts](http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://edwardianpromenade.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/03/hobbleskirtpostcard.jpg&imgrefurl=http://edwardianpromenade.com/%3Fp%3D769&h=600&w=387&sz=64&tbnid=wCFcgIt-cqBkfM:&tbnh=135&tbnw=87&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dhobbleskirt&hl=en&usg=__T55RBR93CRX44C5FB9VKc1a1N6w=&ei=8DWDStGhKsft-AbKn-yHAg&sa=X&oi=image_result&resnum=4&ct=image) that showed a bit of ankle, closed her shades and never went outside again. I don’t want to be as closed-minded as my ancestor, so I am sorry. ---
**Author:** ![tumbleddown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tumbleddown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tumbleddown)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/51 "2009-08-12T23:11:31Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > …at my largest (340) I did not have a problem going to the bathroom. No matter how large my ass was my anus was still in the same location and much smaller than the toilet opening. > I also could either reach behind to wipe or between the legs to do the same. > > This thread is bizarre. I agree completely with this comment. ---
**Author:** ![Markxxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5daacb/32.png) [@Markxxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Markxxx)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2009, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/52 "2009-08-12T23:59:53Z")
Remember on _the Simpsons_ when Homer decided to become obese so he could work from home. That was a great episode, especially Bart’s daydream of being obese Bart: “I wash myself with a rag on a stick” ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/53 "2009-08-13T03:08:44Z")
“We are sorry. The fingers you have used to dial are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad now.” ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/54 "2009-08-13T03:19:29Z")
> [@Push\_You\_Down](#): > > …at my largest (340) I did not have a problem going to the bathroom. No matter how large my ass was my anus was still in the same location and much smaller than the toilet opening. > I also could either reach behind to wipe or between the legs to do the same. How was/is your weight distributed? Uh, to be as tactful as possible, I am talking about people who have butts that are extremely wide. For example, there is a lady I know who…uh(I feel bad expalining this even)…well, her butt is very, very wide. I mean, she is rather short and she is almost equally wide and tall. How can she reach? Seriously, I’m trying to be sensitive. I promise. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/55 "2009-08-13T04:35:40Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > How can she reach? I believe a great many women (of varying girths) wipe by reaching between their legs. As a guy, it freaks me right the f&ck out, but it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/56 "2009-08-13T06:17:59Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > I believe a great many women (of varying girths) wipe by reaching between their legs. As a guy, it freaks me right the f&ck out, but it happens. How else would you do it? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Blake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a9a28c/32.png) [@Blake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blake)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/57 "2009-08-13T06:24:00Z")
> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#): > > How else would you do it? 😕 You \*should \*be doing it by reaching around. Reaching between for women is a really great way to develop some really nasty vaginal and urinary infections. This is something your Mommy should have taught you. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/58 "2009-08-13T06:40:07Z")
Well, I guess you could still do it from front to back even if you were reaching through your legs. It would just be awkward. ---
**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/59 "2009-08-13T06:47:48Z")
> [@Blake](#): > > You \*should \*be doing it by reaching around. Reaching between for women is a really great way to develop some really nasty vaginal and urinary infections. > > This is something your Mommy should have taught you. Duh. That’s why women wipe from front to back. How is that in conflict with anything I said? ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2009, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024/60 "2009-08-13T06:48:15Z")
> [@Mahaloth](#): > > How do they/you wipe? It seems like it would be rather difficult. Is it? [http://www.amplestuff.com/](http://www.amplestuff.com/) ? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-somewhat-crude-question-about-overweight-people/506024.md?page=4)