# A sonnet about my new office chair **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 26, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772 "2002-04-26T14:34:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/1 "2002-04-26T14:34:01Z")
Rick Sonnet 1: Today I acquired a new office chair It has armrests and is sort of a purply-blue I went to the supply room and it was sitting there As if it was saying “I’m the chair for you.” My old office chair was a bluish gray And its back was very small and short It seat was starting to slope and give way And it offered me no lumbar support. I sat in my new chair and gave a great cry, “This chair’s so comfy! My back feels great!” I settle into it with a satisfied sigh, My only objection being, 'twas a year too late. When, my friends, you have a boring job like me, You have to rejoice in every small victory. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/2 "2002-04-26T14:50:20Z")
This Is Just To Say I have taken the chair that was in the supply room and which you were probably saving for yourself Forgive me it is so supportive so stylish and so comfortable ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/3 "2002-04-26T14:53:41Z")
You have two arm rests? And all the wheels are working? You lucky bastard – Office chair haiku ---
**Author:** ![Humble\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/47e85d/32.png) [@Humble\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Humble_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/4 "2002-04-26T15:16:19Z")
You have taken the chair that was in the supply room that I was saving for myself I forgive you. Your lunch was tasty so cheap and so convenient ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/5 "2002-04-26T15:44:44Z")
Frustrations occur in the workplace, I’m sure When it comes to finding a chair. Most searches fail; we could all tell tales Of uncomfortable seating there. The fluorescent lights have seen many sights But the happiest they ever did see Was when in receipt of his new purply-blue seat, RickJay savoured his small victory. (With apologies to Robert Service.) ---
**Author:** ![screech-owl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@screech-owl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/screech-owl)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/6 "2002-04-26T17:37:06Z")
i have a new office chair ordered specially for me it truly is comfortable it hs five wheels and i can spin round and round and round and round and round and round until i am dizzy or the boss walks in i can move from my desk to the postage meter without standing up thank goodness i can reach the supply cabinet without getting off my butt my office chair is so comfortable it is brand new (burgundy with little flecks of silver gray) and it has two armrests which i accidentally put on backwards but this way i can tell when someone borrows my chair no its mine give it back to me and i like it except that it has no brakes and i move too quickly and when i zip back and forth sometimes i run off the carpet protector and smack into the cabinets ow ---
**Author:** ![Amidar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Amidar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amidar)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2002, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/7 "2002-04-26T17:54:14Z")
-f-f-o-c-i-e-h-c-i-a-r- who a)s w(e loo)k downnowsit RCFIFCOEHAI tingina(cu- bicle):s wi !v: elS a (r rIvInG .ecirahcioff) to rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly ,officechair; (cummings is rolling around in his grave right about now… and the formatting is lost upon preview!) ---
**Author:** ![Sauron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce7236/32.png) [@Sauron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sauron)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/8 "2002-05-06T14:05:59Z")
I work for an office furniture company. No fooling. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/9 "2002-05-06T14:34:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Amidar \* > > ```auto > > -f-f-o-c-i-e-h-c-i-a-r- > who > a)s w(e loo)k > downnowsit > RCFIFCOEHAI > tingina(cu- > bicle):s > wi > !v: > elS a > (r > rIvInG .ecirahcioff) > to > rea(be)rran(com)gi(e)ngly > ,officechair; > > ``` > > (cummings is rolling around in his grave right about now… and the formatting is lost upon preview!) Try using the “code” tags, like I did above. It retains spacing, which makes posting code or nonstandard poetry much easier. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/10 "2002-05-06T15:40:10Z")
Success is counted seated By those who ne’er sit. To comprehend a nice chair Requires sorest feet. Not one of all maint’nance staff Who took the trash today Can tell the definition So clear of cubicle. As he not seated – walking – For whose hard-working rear The cushioned asses typing Move not as he comes near! ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 6:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/11 "2002-05-06T18:39:36Z")
There was a young man named **RickJay** Who found a new chair one day Excited by his gain He didn’t notice the stain Left from two coworkers’ roll in the hay! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/12 "2002-05-06T18:52:44Z")
How doth the little office chair Improve my cramping ass! And makes the time I must spend there More swiftly seem to pass! My office chair, it is so dear, So very dear to me! It fills my bottom with such cheer, It’s smiling vertically! ---
**Author:** ![Hoopy\_Frood](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hoopy_frood/32/8452_2.png) [@Hoopy\_Frood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hoopy_Frood)\ **Post date:** [May 6, 2002, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/13 "2002-05-06T19:09:56Z")
Two office chairs in a dreary supply room placed, And sorry I could not sit in both And be one corporate drone, long I cased And looked over one that suited my taste From where it hulked in the overgrowth. Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was classy and wanted wear; Though as for that the slacking there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay Amongst supplies no worker had bothered to steal. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, Someone else would grab it to add personal appeal. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two chairs placed in a supply room, and I– I took the one less sat on by, And that has made all the difference. With apologies to Robert Frost. ---
**Author:** ![Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ea5d25/32.png) [@Nenya\_Elizabeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nenya_Elizabeth)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/14 "2002-05-07T00:08:33Z")
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the best chair is not to the swift, nor the working coffeemaker to the strong, neither yet long lunch breaks to the wise, nor yet a fat pay cheque to men of understanding, nor yet paid holidays to men of skill; but time and chance and bad poetry happeneth to them all. 😃🆒 ;j ---
**Author:** ![mnemosyne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c4cdca/32.png) [@mnemosyne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mnemosyne)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 12:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/15 "2002-05-07T00:17:22Z")
```auto So much depends upon a comfy office chair with armrests in a tiny cubicle ``` [sub]Sorry W.C.W. I’ll never do it again… :D[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/16 "2002-05-07T03:09:11Z")
ok… ---
**Author:** ![Jekeira](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@Jekeira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jekeira)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2002, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/17 "2002-05-07T17:18:33Z")
See my brand new office chair, Purple chair! What a world of sitting-comfort truly now awaits me there! How it twirls about unhindered, In a kind of spinning dance! While the lights flourescent flicker All the heavens seem to flicker, In a strange religious trance! Spinning round round round, Hardly staying on the ground, So that dizzily I name myself an office millionaire! In my chair, chair, chair, chair, Chair, chair, chair – In my purple-whirling twirling office chair! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2002, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sonnet-about-my-new-office-chair/105772/18 "2002-05-09T13:04:22Z")
I’m aware That some stare At my chair. In fact, to be fair, Some really despair Of my chair. But I don’t care. For they’re not aware Nor are they debonair. They see my new chair. Say “beware,” And go off on a tear. I say “No Fair.” A cube with no chair Is really nowhere. So sit my chair. Sit over there. Or over there. Or over there If you dare. My wife bought a chair At an antique fair To use as a share. Did I care? Au contraire. A spare Chair Is fair. In fact, a chair Can be rare. One from Dumas pere Or le roi de le mer. And where is the chair From Martin Guerre. No where Mon frere. Now that I’ve shared This affair Of the chair. I think I’ll repair To my lair And eat a pear And a chocolate eclair. Do you care?