# A Straight Dope Murder Mystery. Part 5 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 5, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378 "2010-03-05T03:40:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/1 "2010-03-05T03:40:50Z")
Three more names had been crossed out. The clock read 2:40 exact. Over the last 15 minutes **Una Persson** and **Shirley Ujest** related how they were with each other the entire time listening to \*\*Johnny LA’s \*\*music near the stage, and **Rand Rover** removed all doubt that he had been connected to the crime. “So, where were you?” **Twickster** asked **Rand Rover** as he sat in the front. He narrowed his eyes. “Where were you?” He asked, trying to sound like he was making a point “I already said where I was. Where were you?” “Ah, THAT is the question, so to speak!” He said, sounding like he just said something smart and then crossed his arms over his chest as if he made a point. “I’m sorry, what?” **Twickster** asked. “Precisely.” **Rand Rover** said, nodding for reasons only he knew. “So, where were you?” **Twickster** asked again, with somewhat growing amusement in spite of herself and the situation. “Yes, yes…” **Rand Rover** said, looking smug, like he was talking to someone in his own little world. Someone laughed in the back. It sounded like **Gfactor**. “Seems like it.” He said as he put his arms back down. **Twickster** paused for a minute, then asked, “ **Rand Rover,** did you kill **Idle Thoughts**?” **Rand Rover** shook his head quickly, then focused on a fly buzzing around the room. He watched it as it landed on his arm. Then reached over and quickly slapped it with his other hand. He put his hand up to admire his handiwork. “But the real question is…” He said in almost a whisper, “That the question of the question is not an answer to the question of the whole point, of course.” He nodded again, as if that should explain everything. **Twickster** crossed the name **Rand Rover** off the list. * * * “I was thirsty most the night, so I just hung around the punch bowl the entire time. **Lord Ashtar** saw me there and I talked to **Shodan** a bit as he was waiting for you to return from the bathroom” **Alice in Wonderland** put her hand behind her head. She looked tired and her cheeks had tear streaks on them. Her eyes were half open and minor veins stood out in them. “Did **Lord Ashtar** see you before or after you spoke to **Shodan**?” **Twickster** inquired. **Mr Bus Guy** looked up from a semi-doze. “Wuza?” “Go back to sleep.” **Guin** whispered. “Before.” \*\*Alice \*\*replied. “About five minutes before.” “Yup, it’s true.” **Lord Ashtar** said from the side of the stage. “We waved to each other.” “Well, then, I think we can cross you off the list.” **Twickster** smiled. “Really?” She seemed surprised. “That easy?” “Of course that easy!” \*\*Sapo \*\*spoke up again from his world in the corner. “Seeming as she doesn’t even care to question right or in detail, just crossing names off left and right by asking, ‘did you kill him?’. Seems like a simple no makes you free and clear of the crime.” **Twickster** turned to him to what seemed like the hundreth time that night. “Well, **Sapo** ,” She said through clenched teeth. “I guess it just takes a lot less clues for me to be sure of a person’s innocence. The main agreement we have is that **Idle Thoughts** entered the bathroom at 9:10, was presumably killed 15 minutes after, which would be about 9:25, and was found at 9:40. Now, if **Alice** was taking to **Shodan** while I left to see if I could use the facilities, then **Idle** would have already been dead, because when I got back, **Marley** found him only about ten mere minutes later. Therefore, when I reached the bathroom, he was already dead as well. Now, if **Lord Ashtar** saw **Alice** about a full 15 minutes BEFORE **Marley** found **Idle** , That would have been right around the time of the actual murder. So if **Alice** was out here at the time the murder took place, then how could she have done it, hmmmm?” She fell silence and let all that soak in. **Sapo** considered all this a minute, then his eyes slowly narrowed. “Seems to me,” he said, “that again, you have proved that you know an awful lot about this crime for someone that proclaims their innocence.” **Twickster** bit her lip. She felt a dull throb in her forehead that would eventually form into a headache. **Sapo** went on. “In fact, you are so observant, I’m surprised you haven’t had time to notice our missing guest.” “Huh?” **Twickster** had forgot about **TubaDiva** for the moment, then suddenly it came back to her. “Come now, **Idle Thoughts** invited forty of us here. Forty of the most well-known Dopers. Present are only thirty-nine. Surely he didn’t forget to invite one of the actual admins…, so the question is, where is **TubaDiva**?” Everyone looked around the room as if to confirm that one of them was, in fact, missing. **Twickster** found herself surprised that no one had noticed earlier **TubaDiva** not being there. And still, **Sapo** went on. “Now isn’t that unusual? Makes you wonder if there’s more then meets the eye.” **Muffin** spoke up. “I think you’re a little paranoid there, **Sappy**. There are so many reasons why a person could miss a party.” “Very true.” **Twickster** picked up. “Anyway, she could not have done it. Nobody saw her tonight. What, do you think she came in here invisible and killed him then slipped out like the wind?” “While I hardly think she would have used those impossible methods, I’m not ruling her out as a suspect.”\*\* Sapo\*\* said with a sarcastic look on his face. “I mean, was anyone really paying attention? There is a remote possiblity that she could have slipped in unnoticed, bumped him off, then left without a word to a soul.” “Maybe we should concentrate on the people here.” **What Exit** suddenly spoke up. **Sapo** looked at him with a sense of wonder, as if suddenly seeing him for the first time. “Yes, **What Exit** , why don’t we concentrate on the ones present? Like you, the last one to ever see him alive? Tell me, where were you at the time of the murder?” **What Exit** turned to face **Sapo**. “For your information, I was talking to **Marley** at the punchbowl for most of the night.” “Ah yes, our beloved **Marley**. The only OTHER person directly associated with **Idle** ’s death by being the one who found him.” **Sapo** said, all this will a certain air of happiness. “Fuck you, **Sapo**.” **Marley** spoke from the right side of the stage and happy he could now say that with his on-board moderator shoes off. “Sorry, buddy, but both our stories match each other. I spoke with **What Exit** all night. He left for the bathroom about 9pm and came right back here and we continued to talk. So don’t give me any of your guilt trip bullshit. It don’t work on me.” “Hear, Hear.” **Green Bean** spoke up. Everyone turned to look at her and she blushed, embarassed. **Marley** and **What Exit** were crossed out. * * * ## **Bricker** and **CarnalK** were sitting side by side in the back. \*\*Twickster \*\*questioned them carefully and carefully crossed their names out ten minutes later. By 3:45, only six names were still on the list. **Eludicator MsRobyn ElvisL1ves ivn1188 Hal Briston Muffin** And me, \*\*Twickster \*\*thought. **Sapo** won’t let anyone forget that. She looked at the room with all the people bunched in. All of a sudden it seemed too full. Too stuffy. Everyone just sat there, and the air had a kind of a thickness one could feel. **Twickster** sighed and looked toward the back where Shodan and Little Nemo still sat. Shodan was on the verge of falling asleep. She decided to make a decision right now. Clear the room. Get the innocents out of here. She wouldn’t need but a couple of big guys if they found the killer anyway. “All right,” she announced. “I’ve decided most of you have been here long enough. So to the delight of **Sapo** and others. I’ve decided to let the crossed out names leave.” A buzz spread though the room, the ones who had not yet been crossed out looked uneasy. **Twickster** continued. “However I wish that **Shodan, Little Nemo** , and a couple other’s would stay behind to help with the…the…” She paused, wondering how to finish. “criminal.” Many people stood up at once. There were stretches, cracking knuckles, popping joints. They started to move toward the collected assortment of backpacks, purses, and knapsacks that were all set on one table in the back. **Sapo** got there first. He was so anxious to get out into the fresh air. He’d just about had enough of the hot, crowded room. He fished through the bags, looking for his backpack with the green stripe. There it was. Others were going through the pile, picking out their belongings, going through them to see if everything was still intact and accounted for. **Sapo** didn’t bother. He grabbed his pack and turned to Twickster. “Well, **Twick** , it’s been real. Really good time I’ve had, but I hope all the rest here remember…” It happened so quick that at first nobody recognized the things that dropped out of the pack. They fell to the floor with loud thumps. Everyone froze and stared at the three items that now lay on the floor at Sapo’s feet. A butcher’s knife, a gun, a bottle of poison. **Sapo** looked down at these things with a hypnotized stare. His brain didn’t function at what he was looking at, at first. **MeanOldLady** broke the deathly silence. “Holy shit.” \*\*Sapo \*\*looked at her with an incredulous look. He seemed very dazed. “Wha?” “Whoa.” **Kaylasdad** gasped. Everyone was looking at **Sapo** , now, with hard, accusing looks. He spun around and saw they were in a half circle. They all backed away at his sudden movement. “\*\*Sapo.” \*\*That was **Little Nemo**. “But…but…” **Sapo** tried to form the words but they didn’t seem to want to come out. **Muffin** peered over the crowd. “God, what, did you poison him first?!” **Sapo** found his voice and pulled it out. “NO! What the fuck?!! This is a set up! I didn’t kill the son of a bitch!” Everyone backed up a bit more. “How did you do it, **Sap**?” \*\*Johnny LA \*\*was asking. “Did you trick **Mr Bus Guy** in his handicapped state and leave him to kill \*\*Idle \*\*off?” “You are all wrong! YOU HAVE GOT THE WRONG GUY…those…those aren’t mine…I didn’t–” “Shut up, you filthy murderer!” **Pbbth** cried, then burst into tears. **Little Nemo** and **Johnny LA** started moving toward him very slowly. **Sapo** noticed this and backed up. “You stay the hell away from me, you hear? You’re all crazy. You’ll stay away if you know what’s good for you.” “Give it up, **Sapo**. This can go easy or this can go hard.” **Little Nemo** took a careful step forward again. **Sapo** moved quick. He bent down, faster then anyone could guess he could and picked up the gun. He raised it to meet **Little Nemo**. They all gasped. **Sapo** held the gun at **Nemo** , then switched it to **Johnny,** then back to **Nemo** as if he couldn’t make up his mind. “Stay back! You’re all making a big mistake. Now listen to me, you’ve got the wrong person, so you all just stay back.” “Put the gun down, **Sapo**.” **Little Nemo** said in a soothing tone. “The hell I will. I won’t be taken in like this. You all just stay away. I’m leaving here tonight the innocent man I am.” **Little Nemo** focused on something behind Sapo and gasped. “Oh my God! **Idle Thoughts!** You’re alive!” **Sapo** turned around to see what **Little Nemo** saw and **Nemo** saw his chance. He lunged forward. **Sapo** turned back and fired the gun on instinct. **Nemo** jerked to the right as the bullet entered his shoulder. **Johnny LA** ran forward and tackled **Sapo** to the floor. He wrestled the gun away as **Guin** and **Una** saw to \*\*Nemo’\*\*s wound and **Vinyl Turnip** ran to the phone to dial the police. **Johnny LA** pulled **Sapo** to his feet. His eyes were wild. “You’re ALL MAKING A BIG MISTAKE! YOU’RE ALL CRAZY! I KNOW WHO KILLED **IDLE THOUGHTS**! I KNOW WHO REALLY KILLED HIM! IT WAS…IT WAS…” To Be Continued… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/2 "2010-03-05T14:07:08Z")
Ooooo - cliffhanger!!! Now just don’t make Idle turn into the black smoke and I’ll be happy. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/3 "2010-03-05T15:17:46Z")
Don’t believe him! He’s obviously crazy, so whatever he says, don’t believe him! Unless he says it wasn’t me. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/4 "2010-03-05T15:29:45Z")
Well, we can cross **Sapo** off the list. Did we ever get a tox report on **Mr. Bus Guy** to see if he was really drunk? Regards, Shodan In the Library, With the Candlestick ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/5 "2010-03-05T15:50:10Z")
Is this the last point where we’re supposed to start guessing? Because it sounds just like the ending of those Encyclopedia Brown type books where the answer was in the back. Someone would say, "I know who did it, It was… (Turn to page 113 for the answer). My thoughts are very basic. We need someone who could have done it, but also someone who could have slipped stuff into Sapo’s bag. Mr. Bus Guy’s not a bad idea, since, being drunk, he might be being ignored. There’s got to be something much stronger if this is the last one before the reveal. If not, well, there’s still got to be something tying all this together. One more thought and I’ll shut up: could there be two green striped bags? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/6 "2010-03-05T15:58:54Z")
It was Shodan. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/7 "2010-03-05T17:29:45Z")
I’m with **MOL**. (Missed these when they first went up–forgot to search for 'em.) ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/8 "2010-03-05T18:10:51Z")
If Sapo was the killer, that would be too obvious, so he can’t be the killer. Maybe the twist is that he really is the killer. But that would be way too obvious too. So he’s not the killer. Maybe the twist to the twist is that he really is the killer. But that brings us right back to the fact that his being the killer is way too obvious. Was the poison in the bag iocaine powder by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [March 5, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/9 "2010-03-05T18:33:09Z")
I thought it was Shodan from the moment I noticed his name on the list. So for that reason, I decided it can’t be him. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [March 6, 2010, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/10 "2010-03-06T20:38:02Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > It was Shodan. She who smelt it, dealt it. Regards, Shodan the Butler ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 7, 2010, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/11 "2010-03-07T01:44:23Z")
All right, I confess. It was me. I was going to crash the party, and **Idle Thoughts** caught me trying to sneak in. He was going to call security and, well, I had a Dopefest to go to. I wasn’t the one who spiked the punch, though. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/12 "2010-03-09T19:21:23Z")
I am glad my incessant need to talk Yankees and movies paid off for a change. Sapo is clearly not guilty. Will someone bump this thread please when \*\*Idle \*\*posts the last chapter. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [March 9, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-straight-dope-murder-mystery-part-5/531378/13 "2010-03-09T20:07:54Z")
Really, **Idle** – log out of Collect Everything for a minute and finish the story! 🙂