# A Stupid Thing in Star Trek That Has Annoyed Me For Years (Add Your Own!) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 14, 2008, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414 "2008-07-14T09:53:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![Steve\_MB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/steve_mb/32/5339_2.png) [@Steve\_MB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steve_MB)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/281 "2008-07-21T22:06:00Z")
[QUOTE=kingpengvin] I just remembered one… Those two stranded bastards in red shirts. In the craptastic episode “And the Children shall lead”…[etc] [/QUOTE] And then there was this bit from [the Agony Booth recap](http://agonybooth.com/recaps/Star_Trek/the_original_series/And_the_Children_Shall_Lead___.aspx): > [@](#): > > Spock and Kirk head to the transporter room and Kirk briefs the two Redshirts. He has them beamed down, then tells the transporter operator to beam the other two guys up. Just like that, huh? Wouldn’t he want to get in touch with those guys first, you know, to actually tell them they’re about to be beamed up? Those guys could be doing anything. I mean, they could be sitting on the crapper right now for all Kirk knows. Or perhaps tenderizing the tube steak. ---
**Author:** ![Diceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Diceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diceman)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/282 "2008-07-21T22:19:23Z")
I just thought of something that strikes me as very disturbing. (I haven’t read this entire thread, but I don’t think this is anything that’s been mentioned before in similar threads.) When the TNG crew found Scotty in suspended animation, he was on his way to the retirement colony on some planet somewhere. I find the whole concept of a “retirement colony” to be very sad and unsettling. It’s bad enough that we 21st-Century humans warehouse our old people in nursing homes; in the Federation, they ship them off to another planet! “Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I imagine that visits from your loved ones would have to be a rare occurance, unless your son is a Starfleet captain or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/283 "2008-07-21T22:19:59Z")
[QUOTE=Valteron] Reicher (or is it Riker?) of Generation bugs me because he is so full of himself. In theory I should be attracted to him, but he turns me off so much with his pushy, self important personality. [/QUOTE] A little while ago, I was bored, so I watched the commentary track to _Star Trek: First Contact_. Turns out, that wasn’t acting. Jonathan Frakes really is that full of himself. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/284 "2008-07-21T22:51:15Z")
[QUOTE=Peter Morris] remind me, what about the phaser pistols? [/QUOTE] Because instead of going “pew pew” and squeezing shots off at people you should be able to use it like a fire hose that disintegrates those you hit. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2008, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/285 "2008-07-21T23:09:02Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] When the TNG crew found Scotty in suspended animation, he was on his way to the retirement colony on some planet somewhere. I find the whole concept of a “retirement colony” to be very sad and unsettling. It’s bad enough that we 21st-Century humans warehouse our old people in nursing homes; in the Federation, they ship them off to another planet! “Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t even begin to describe it. [/QUOTE] Heck, when Noonien Soong (the cyberneticist that created Data, Lore etc.) got married, he and his fiancée went to Mavala IV. Evidently, this is the future equivalent of Vegas. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/286 "2008-07-22T00:54:52Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] I just thought of something that strikes me as very disturbing. (I haven’t read this entire thread, but I don’t think this is anything that’s been mentioned before in similar threads.) When the TNG crew found Scotty in suspended animation, he was on his way to the retirement colony on some planet somewhere. I find the whole concept of a “retirement colony” to be very sad and unsettling. It’s bad enough that we 21st-Century humans warehouse our old people in nursing homes; in the Federation, they ship them off to another planet! “Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I imagine that visits from your loved ones would have to be a rare occurance, unless your son is a Starfleet captain or something like that. [/QUOTE] I cannot allow these gross distortions to remain uncorrected. The Norpin V Retirement Colony is known throughout the Alpha Quadrant as the finest active adult community the Federation has to offer. Located just light-minutes from the Norpin IV Advanced Organ Replication Clinic, Norpin V combines Sector 001-style amenities with the tranquil natural beauty of a new planetary system. Our community features recreational opportunities in both hemispheres; including the new Thousand Lakes facility, which offers fishing, boating, tennis, light-shuffleboard, Vulcan billiards, zero-G bocce ball, Romulan spa, a state-of-the-art holographic fitness center, and an entire subcontinent terraformed into award-winning 9 and 18 hole golf courses. Enjoy shopping, fine dining, and all the comfort and charm of upscale resort living. On Norpin V, every day is a holiday! Anyway, Scotty was heading out there of his own free will, still healthy and of sound mind, at least if you overlook the fact that he’d apparently been wearing the same weird vest in civilian life for decades. The guy spent his entire life out in space! It’s a bit late to worry about whether any potential family on Earth wants him around. In defense of the episode, I think the screenwriters were probably aiming for just the sort of reaction you described-- sad and unsettling. The episode was called “Relics,” after all. We’re supposed to come away with the realization that we shouldn’t dismiss the elderly, they’re worthy of respect, value them while we can, etc. The notion of a “retirement colony” is one of those features of the Star Trek universe that we’re probably not meant to spend too much time examining in literal terms. Of course, I myself have spent far too much time mulling over hypothetical evolutionary scenarios that might result in a species with asymmetrical bilateral pigmentation, so I really have no room to talk either. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/287 "2008-07-22T01:53:23Z")
Speaking of sad and unsettling Federation practices, the idea of retirement colonies has nothing on the mental health care system detailed in the original series episode “Dagger of the Mind.” See, by the 23rd century, advances in psychiatry have made it possible to cure nearly all forms of violent mental illness. Only a handful of people cannot be cured of criminal insanity by these techniques. So what does the Federation do with these incurably afflicted people? They keep them all locked up together inside an asylum housed in a pressurized dome on a remote planet with a poisonous atmosphere. This seems uncharacteristically draconian, especially for a society with readily available “stun setting” and “invisible force field” technology. Then again, I was never entirely clear on the reasoning behind the “death penalty for visiting Talos IV” either. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/288 "2008-07-22T02:38:46Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Vulcan billiards, [/QUOTE] In an _Enterprise_ episode, Vulcans stranded on Terra referred to pool as a “children’s game.” ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/289 "2008-07-22T02:46:35Z")
Well of course: Earth billiards is only 2-D after all. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/290 "2008-07-22T03:07:24Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] Well of course: Earth billiards is only 2-D after all. [/QUOTE] Ah. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 3:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/291 "2008-07-22T03:08:20Z")
[QUOTE=Merijeek] Because instead of going “pew pew” and squeezing shots off at people you should be able to use it like a fire hose that disintegrates those you hit. -Joe [/QUOTE] Limited charge in the batteries, you’d run out of power quickly if you did that. ---
**Author:** ![slaphead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9bcb4/32.png) [@slaphead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slaphead)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/292 "2008-07-22T07:51:57Z")
[QUOTE=Peter Morris] Limited charge in the batteries, you’d run out of power quickly if you did that. [/QUOTE] Only if you insisted they HAD to have a non-replaceable battery and be the size of a novelty cigarette lighter. Me, I’d want one the size of a tommy-gun with a backpack full of spare batteries. Or alternatively, maybe I could just take an actual tommygun, since it would appear to be far more effective and versatile. What the hell is the point of a sooper-dooper raygun that can’t take out the bad guy across the room who is sheltering behind a cardboard box? And how come the federation has forgotten how grenades work? You’d think they would have some pretty nifty flash-bangs and frag grenades, but nooooo. ---
**Author:** ![atomicbadgerrace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/8e7dd6/32.png) [@atomicbadgerrace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/atomicbadgerrace)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/293 "2008-07-22T08:01:13Z")
[QUOTE=Diceman] I just thought of something that strikes me as very disturbing. (I haven’t read this entire thread, but I don’t think this is anything that’s been mentioned before in similar threads.) When the TNG crew found Scotty in suspended animation, he was on his way to the retirement colony on some planet somewhere. I find the whole concept of a “retirement colony” to be very sad and unsettling. It’s bad enough that we 21st-Century humans warehouse our old people in nursing homes; in the Federation, they ship them off to another planet! “Out of sight, out of mind” doesn’t even begin to describe it. I imagine that visits from your loved ones would have to be a rare occurance, unless your son is a Starfleet captain or something like that. [/QUOTE] Eh? That’s not the impression I got. To me, it sounded like more of somewhere you’d move to voluntarily to enjoy your golden years. For the most part, Earth never struck me as “old-folk friendly” (except for, perhaps, the Picard estate). The 24th century equivalent of buying that old house on the farm and spending every night on the back porch rocker, I suppose. ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/294 "2008-07-22T11:46:55Z")
[QUOTE=slaphead] Only if you insisted they HAD to have a non-replaceable battery and be the size of a novelty cigarette lighter. Me, I’d want one the size of a tommy-gun with a backpack full of spare batteries. [/quote] They have them in different sizes for different occasions. The cigarette lighter ones are lightweight, easily carried, they are there ‘just in case.’ They are carried by the officers and security routinely, when they are not expecting any trouble. Then when they are expecting trouble they have the more powerful pistol types. And for special occasions they have the phaser cannon, as seen in the original pilot. ---
**Author:** ![Merijeek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f05b48/32.png) [@Merijeek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merijeek)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/295 "2008-07-22T12:43:48Z")
[QUOTE=Peter Morris] Limited charge in the batteries, you’d run out of power quickly if you did that. [/QUOTE] Except we see them taking their phaser and using it to slowly blaze away at objects in an attempt to get through them. What if it only lasts for a minute? Ask a modern soldier how he’d like a gun that can fire an entire minute on full auto with no recoil and a tracer-like effect that will let him aim pretty much perfectly. -Joe ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/296 "2008-07-22T13:08:12Z")
_ASSASSINS! TRAITORS!_ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/297 "2008-07-22T13:54:24Z")
I tell you, Cordrazine ODs can get ugly. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/298 "2008-07-22T13:58:02Z")
[QUOTE=Voyager] Given that the normal speed people didn’t move, that would be the equivalent of screwing a mannikin. But whatever turns you on. 😃 [/QUOTE] [real doll [nsf]]([http://www](http://www). real doll . com/) ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/299 "2008-07-22T13:59:56Z")
[QUOTE=aruvqan] [real doll [nsf]]([http://www](http://www). real doll . com/) [/QUOTE] Linky no worky. ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2008, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414/300 "2008-07-22T14:15:07Z")
You don’t need a link. Just search for the term. You’ll find it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-stupid-thing-in-star-trek-that-has-annoyed-me-for-years-add-your-own/456414.md?page=16)