# A Sumerian charioteer, a Babylonian necromancer and an Irishman walk into a bar... **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [July 2, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274 "2010-07-02T04:43:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/1 "2010-07-02T04:43:53Z")
A co-worker once threw the opening line above into an email, as a kind of “complete-the joke” challenge. I thought that Dopers might appreciate a similar challenge. So: 1. Complete the joke. 2. Supply a new opening line for someone else to finish. My completion of my co-worker’s line was: [QUOTE=MacSpon] A Sumerian charioteer, a Babylonian necromancer and an Irishman walk into a bar. The Sumerian charioteer says, “I’ll have a Guinness.” The Babylonian necromancer also says, “I’ll have a Guinness.” The Irishman says, “I’ll have a coke.” The other two look at him. Then the Sumerian charioteer runs over the Irishman with his chariot, killing him instantly, and the Babylonian necromancer raises him from the dead once more. “Oh, all right,” says the Irishman. “I’ll have a Guinness then.” [/QUOTE] Complete this joke: The Greek god Zeus, the Egyptian god Horus and the Pope run into each other while out fishing… ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/2 "2010-07-02T09:14:51Z")
The Pope is sitting with his fishing pole, when Horus arrives with a loaf of bread, Zeus who has been fishing for hours, in sudden anger that he hasn’t caught a fish throws a lightening bolt onto the water, where a single fish floats to the surface, horus collects the fish. Looking down at their mediocre meal, the pope remarks “where’s jesus when you need him” New line, Virgil, Obama and the Dalai Lama meet at comicon ---
**Author:** ![Olentzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/90ced4/32.png) [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/3 "2010-07-02T09:16:31Z")
…and your subsequent opening line? ---
**Author:** ![firstname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/7ab992/32.png) [@firstname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/firstname)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/4 "2010-07-02T09:20:40Z")
Just edited the post to include it. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/5 "2010-07-02T10:50:51Z")
Field Marshal Haig, Martin Luther and Ho Chi Min go to a topless bar in London… ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/6 "2010-07-02T11:11:42Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > Field Marshal Haig, Martin Luther and Ho Chi Min go to a topless bar in London… Martin Luther says, “I’d like to nail THAT ho to a door”. Ho Chi Min interjects: “I’m sorry? What did you just say you were going to do to me?” Haig places his arms around the other men and says, “Gentlemen - how about you two charge the stage, while I stay back here?” (Sorry - it’s the best I could do with a material at hand). ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/7 "2010-07-02T17:27:52Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > (Sorry - it’s the best I could do with a material at hand). That’s what _she_ said! My setup line: How many raccoons does it take to rig a sailboat? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/8 "2010-07-02T20:13:37Z")
Since you mention it, my family’s been trying for years to find a punchline for “The Vilna Gaon walks into a bar…” (Although that sentence is [pretty funny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vilna_Gaon#Ascetism) by itself). ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/9 "2010-07-02T21:30:38Z")
> [@GargoyleWB](#): > > How many raccoons does it take to rig a sailboat? Twelve. Because of course it’d be jury-rigged! So… What’s built like a truck but smells like a bicycle? ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/10 "2010-07-02T22:27:58Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > So… What’s built like a truck but smells like a bicycle? [Insert name of muscular professional cyclist here]. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/11 "2010-07-02T23:05:48Z")
> [@robardin](#): > > So… What’s built like a truck but smells like a bicycle? Lance Armstrong’s secret gay lover. What’s the difference between a Dutchman and an electric can opener? ---
**Author:** ![Bosstone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/22d042/32.png) [@Bosstone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosstone)\ **Post date:** [July 2, 2010, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/12 "2010-07-02T23:25:39Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > What’s the difference between a Dutchman and an electric can opener? The can opener won’t draw a picture of Muhammad. How do you get an Eskimo to bathe a chimp? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/13 "2010-07-03T17:29:21Z")
Tell him its a Frenchman. ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/14 "2010-07-03T17:49:04Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > Since you mention it, my family’s been trying for years to find a punchline for “The Vilna Gaon walks into a bar…” > > (Although that sentence is [pretty funny](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vilna_Gaon#Ascetism) by itself). and says to his young apprentice " You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious" ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/15 "2010-07-03T21:47:37Z")
Mod walks into a thread, boots it over to the Gamer Room. ---
**Author:** ![mascaroni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dc4da7/32.png) [@mascaroni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mascaroni)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/16 "2010-07-03T21:56:31Z")
[QUOTE=firstname;12641797 New line, Virgil, Obama and the Dalai Lama meet at comicon[/QUOTE] The Dalai Lama says to Virgil, “I remember you from Thunderbirds”. Obama moans that it was a British show. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/17 "2010-07-03T22:41:39Z")
> [@twickster](#): > > Mod walks into a thread, boots it over to the Gamer Room. The Game Room bartender looks up and says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?” Why did the bra buy sheet metal at Home depot? ---
**Author:** ![willthekittensurvive](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/91b2a8/32.png) [@willthekittensurvive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/willthekittensurvive)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2010, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/18 "2010-07-03T22:55:44Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > The Game Room bartender looks up and says, “What is this? Some kind of joke?” > Why did the bra buy sheet metal at Home depot? because he heard it was the place to make Bro’s one, two and three are buying a car. what car do they buy? ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-sumerian-charioteer-a-babylonian-necromancer-and-an-irishman-walk-into-a-bar/545274/19 "2010-07-04T04:25:56Z")
A BMW 321. A man is busy having sex with his wife when his inlaws come calling, what should he do?