# A surprising encounter for the SDMB One-Trick-Pony Chowder and Marching Society w/H4E **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 13, 2002, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584 "2002-11-13T15:34:03Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![lynn73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ebca7d/32.png) [@lynn73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lynn73)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/141 "2002-11-18T20:36:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fenris \* > \*\*See? She flounced right back in. > > I’ve been meaning to ask: how do you all get your sheets so nice and white? I mean, soot from burning crosses must be hard to get out. > > \*\* > > And, sorry to say, she’s right. There are a lot of hate-mongers who go to church. Too bad they aren’t Christians. > > Am I the only one who imagines Hate4Ever as Veruca Salt (not the rock group, the one from _Willy Wonka_) but in a Klan outfit…with a bow at the back? > > “Daddy. I want to burn th’ gays!” > > **Mr. 4Ever** : Alright Veruca, as soon as we get home, daddy will cruise around on Christopher Street and pick up some gays for you to burn. > > **Veruca4Ever** : But I want to burn them NnnnnnnnnnnnnnOoooooooooOOOowwW!" > > **Mr. 4Ever** : But baby, be reasonable. Daddy doesn’t _have_ any gay men for you to burn. Just wait 'till we get home. Tell you what. I’ll give you a bible you can beat them with while they’re burning. > > **Veruca4Ever** (sings) > \*I’ll burn all their evil right out of their bodies > Save them from Hell as they scream > And when I’m done saving millions of gay souls > I’ll eat some ice-cream! > > I’ll condemn the world > I’ll condemn the whole world > Gays, fornicators, Mormons, masterbators (those nasty old satyrs) > And wow! > Don’t care how - I’ll condem 'em now! > Don’t care how - I’ll condem 'em now! > \* > > Of course, on the last verse, Fenris Wonka watches in amusement as Veruca4Ever stands on the platform and is dropped into a garbage shute (being a bad egg and all). So the last line should really be: > > _Don’t care how - I’ll condem 'em noooo[sub]oooo[sub]ooo[sub]ooow![/sub][/sub][/sub]_ > > Fenris \*\* You guys are soooo weird!:rolleyes: Don’t know how this got twisted into talking about white sheets and KKK. Once again, your little made up diatribes do not speak for me. I see that you simply still don’t get anything I’ve said, but I’m sure your cute little skits make you feel good.:smack: ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/142 "2002-11-18T20:47:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by His4ever \* > **I see that you simply still don’t get anything I’ve said…** Ha! Oh, that’s a good one! Trust me, everyone gets exactly where you’re coming from. Don’t flatter yourself that people disagree with you because they don’t understand you. Believe me, it’s just the opposite. “As clear as an unmuddied lake, sir. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer.” —Alex DeLarge ---
**Author:** ![blanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f04885/32.png) [@blanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blanx)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/143 "2002-11-18T20:48:32Z")
Flounce, Flounce and Reflounce. You see, **H4E** , we get what you’re saying. You keep banging the same, simple, hateful drum. You seem incapable of internalizing what those who are on your side are saying! (e.g. cjhoworth, Polycarp, et al.) Thus, it’s chowder and marching for you, missy. oompa blanx ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/144 "2002-11-18T20:56:09Z")
I’m so ashamed of myself. I’ve actually masturbated at some point within the past year. I’ve fornicated too. I’m so horrible. I hate myself. The only reason I haven’t had gay sex is because all my directions are in Japanese. God hates me. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/145 "2002-11-18T20:57:44Z")
His4Ever wrote: > [@](#): > > I see that you simply still don’t get anything I’ve said, but I’m sure your cute little skits make you feel good. When the teacher has to say, “Why don’t you get this?”, it is the teacher who has failed. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/146 "2002-11-18T21:04:15Z")
I thought you were leaving. I’ve gotten what you’ve said. _EVERY_one’s gotten what you’ve said. Everything you’ve spewed here has come down to “Nyaahhh! I’m more saved than you, loser.” It may not be what you’ve _meant_, but it sure as hell is what you’ve _said_! And babe, I’ve been called weird by a much better class of prig than you. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![kingpengvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9dc877/32.png) [@kingpengvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kingpengvin)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/147 "2002-11-18T21:16:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by His4ever \* > \*\* Once again, your little made up diatribes do not speak for me. \*\* Or to you obviously! :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: :smack: Where the hell is the Smilie where you smack someone else upside the head, or maybe a whooshie? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/148 "2002-11-18T21:17:34Z")
**Trion** , I think you got **Esprix** ’s kit, the one he uses to indoctrinate his dates! 🙂 **His4Ever** , everybody else on **Fenris** ’s satirical dialogue was a person who had some sort of _bête noire_ that they insisted on making an issue. With **FatherJohn** , for example, it was the evils of SUV’s – and also a disproportionate and irrational hatred of Pres. & Mrs. Clinton which somehow metamorphosed into a dislike of the size of the part of her body with which Mrs. Clinton sits. You are not being parodied because you’re standing up for your faith – you’re being parodied for _the way in which_ you’re doing it – and if nothing **CJ, Guinastasia** or I or any of the other folks who’ve tried to discuss it with you has made any sense, then you really need to pray about what God wants you to be doing here – and _listen_ for His guidance. There’s no sarcasm in that – if you care anything for my opinion, I think you do have a mission, a purpose given by Him in being here, and that you’ve been **misinterpreting how to do it.** ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/149 "2002-11-18T21:47:48Z")
**His4Ever** , **Fenris** is the finest and best known satirist on the board. In my experience, including this go round, he doesn’t take on targets without ample justification. His initial post and his post at 6:48 am this morning Board Time were intended as _satire_, not literal truth. He was called out on his Klan reference as soon as he posted it and the only reason I didn’t join in was I figured the subject was adequately covered. At 10:52 am this morning, he apologized for it. You’ve been around here long enough to know that this can be a rough place. I’ve also warned you about the direction you were heading, and for a while I thought you’d turned around. It’s true that people do get thrown to the wolves around here, and **Fenris** is alpha wolf. He hasn’t inducted **Joe\_Cool** or **Jersey Diamond** into the One Trick Pony Chowder and Marching Society because they do talk about more than one subject. I’m afraid you don’t. I suspect that after our exchanges of a week ago you’re not listening to me, but I worry that you’re being hurt and as part of my duty to God, I am obligated to try to help you. We’re not trying to make a martyr out of you. First of all, my understanding of your beliefs is that you don’t believe in formally honoring martyrs and don’t think much of those who do, given your views on Catholics and idolatry. Second, there have been enough martyrs in this world. You’re right. There are people here who don’t like you. If you tell someone often enough that they’re going to hell or that they’re sinful for something they believe they can’t help, and they will tend tend to dislike you. There are also people here who _are trying to help you!_ **Polycarp** , **Masonite** and I are on your side just for openers, and I suspect **Joe\_Cool** and **Jersey Diamond** are as well, not to mention a bunch of other “liberal Christians”. We’re not asking you to change your beliefs, although, yes, I would be happy if you changed one or two of them. We are asking you to show us more of the beautiful, unique human being we know you are because you are created in God’s image and therefore must be both beautiful and unique (yet another paradox!). Oh, by the way, in my circles, “weird” is considered a compliment! 😃 Come on, please? Give it a try? There’s a cup of virtual hot chocolate in it for you, one made with real milk, chocolate, homemade whipped cream, and lots of marshmallows. CJ ---
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/150 "2002-11-18T21:48:48Z")
Oh, she’s a purpose in being here, Poly. It’s evidently not from a being of good and love. What’s left then? ---
**Author:** ![aenea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c68b51/32.png) [@aenea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aenea)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/151 "2002-11-18T22:00:53Z")
Gosh, when I first saw the username **his4ever** , I thought she was some lame young female stuck on her sweetie. Now I just think she’s nuts. Thanks for clearing that up for me **Fenris** 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/152 "2002-11-18T22:04:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > > **Trion** , I think you got **Esprix** ’s kit, the one he uses to indoctrinate his dates! 🙂 Mock not my Japanese boys, with their deep brown eyes, short black silky hair… um, soft, sensual lips… their… skin… so smooth… \ Yes. Quite. Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Trion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ccd318/32.png) [@Trion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trion)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/153 "2002-11-18T22:13:57Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Polycarp \* > \*\ ***Trion** , I think you got **Esprix** ’s kit, the one he uses to indoctrinate his dates! 🙂 > \*\* Well, that explains everything. 😉 Nah, I just figured that maybe if I give her what she want’s, she’ll go away. With that in mind I’ll be sitting in the corner weeping and scrubbing myself with sandpaper. ---
**Author:** ![SisterCoyote](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@SisterCoyote](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SisterCoyote)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/154 "2002-11-18T22:38:09Z")
Um… I have a cat of Nine Tails we can use for your flagellation, Trion. 😃 [sub]What? It’s _self_-flagellation? Where’s the fun in that?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2002, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/155 "2002-11-18T23:03:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by His4ever \* > \*\*You guys are soooo weird!:rolleyes: Don’t know how this got twisted into talking about white sheets and KKK. Once again, your little made up diatribes do not speak for me. I see that you simply still don’t get anything I’ve said, but I’m sure your cute little skits make you feel good.:smack: \*\* I wanted to make it about stewed ponies. Is that better? 😕 😉 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/156 "2002-11-19T00:59:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mangetout \* > \*\*I want to know when **Justhink** will be invited to join the society (although they would have to meet at his place as the outside world is illogical, non-transparent and counter-intelligent. \*\* Good Lord, man… do you realize how many entire pages HIS part of the OP dialogue would run? ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/157 "2002-11-19T01:05:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Esprix \* > **Mock not my Japanese boys, with their deep brown eyes, short black silky hair… um, soft, sensual lips… their… skin… so smooth…** [python] I like Chinese I like Chinese They only come up to your knees… But they’re always friendly and ready to please![/python] ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/158 "2002-11-19T01:10:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JRDelirious \* > \*\*Good Lord, man… do you realize how many entire pages HIS part of the OP dialogue would run? \*\* Plus, at least as far as I’m concerned, he’s really suffering from some sort of mental illness. It’s fine mocking an idiot. Someone with real mental health issues? Not so much. Fenris ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/159 "2002-11-19T02:35:28Z")
**His4ever** , when you finally meet your maker, do you honestly believe you will be _rewarded_ for the people you’ve driven away from him? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2002, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584/160 "2002-11-19T04:37:01Z")
Lekatt? Whilst my paltry skill does not compare to Fenris’, I have some ideas. Lekatt:Near death experiences prove the existence of a God who loves us. KayKay:What kind of love? Uekte:Old people should all die and stay dead. (glares at Lekatt) You look old to me. Hiryuu:Did you know that the universe is a hologram? Lekatt: Yes. We must all seek the spirit world. Lekatt and Hiryuu also share the same grasp of the terms “proof” and “evidence” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-surprising-encounter-for-the-sdmb-one-trick-pony-chowder-and-marching-society-w-h4e/136584.md?page=9)