# A SUV and BMW almost collide. Whom do you laugh at first? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 22, 2000, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286 "2000-08-22T08:22:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dawg144](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Dawg144](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawg144)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/21 "2000-08-22T19:35:27Z")
Uke, so what constitutes an “assholemobile”? Is it any car that is nicer than the car you currently Drive? Is it any car that is bigger than the one you drive? Or is it more envy on your part that you are not driving a nicer car right now and the fact that these people have gone out of there way to drive one of these cars has you just a bit more irritated than you care to let on. I Drive a big old SUV and I love it and you know what Im the one thats paying for it, the insurance, and the gas so, if that makes me an “asshole” driving an “assholemobile” then so be it. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/22 "2000-08-22T20:05:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by L. Guardian \* > Athena, > > You may want to go back and read those specs again. The specs say that the 7 series has bullet **resistant** body panels and bullet **resistant** glass. There is a big difference between bullet resistant and bullet proof. > > Additionally, having bullet resistant body panels and glass will definitely help if you are being shot at, but not if you are in a 30 mph collision with another vehicle. Bullet resistant materials spread the force of a single impact point over a large area to absorb the force of the impact. If you are struck with a fast moving vehicle, bullet resistant material will not prevent damage to your vehicle, or to yourself. L. Guardian, I was merely making an observation, not insinuating that either “bullet proof” or “bullet resistant” glass and body panels would do anyone any good during a crash. I figured that putting the observation in parentheses and the use of the word “incidentally” would make this clear. Guess not. And as it was an aside, I simply reported what I remembered - thus the “bullet proof” vs. “bullet resistant” mistake. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/23 "2000-08-22T20:13:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dawg144 \* > **Or is it more envy on your part that you are not driving a nicer car right now and the fact that these people have gone out of there way to drive one of these cars has you just a bit more irritated than you care to let on.** Yeah…{sob}…you’ve nailed it…it’s expensive car envy…I really REALLY want to be driving an enormous SUV! Thank you or letting me express my innermost yearnings. Where should I send the check, Dr. Freud? Okay, I’m out of this thread. I haven’t heard this much banana oil since the time I equated SUV drivers with the small-dicked. ---
**Author:** ![Stuffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f17d59/32.png) [@Stuffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stuffy)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/24 "2000-08-22T20:24:53Z")
Zen Ukele, I think somebody hit it head on, you have to be their. FTR, I live in the Bay Area also, neither driver would get much sympathy around here. To comments like Dawgs I can only point to myself as an example and say “Just cause you earn a lot of money doesn’t mean screw the enviornment” Personally i’d like to line up SUVs ala worldws greatest stunts, get the aforementioned Abrams… Oh and before someone wants to mention it, yes I could by a SuV if I wanted, but I rather not pay monumental fuel cost to sit in traffic, next to a guy in a Geo. ---
**Author:** ![L.Guardian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@L.Guardian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/L.Guardian)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/25 "2000-08-22T20:32:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Athena \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by L. Guardian \* > > Athena, > > > > You may want to go back and read those specs again. The specs say that the 7 series has bullet **resistant** body panels and bullet **resistant** glass. There is a big difference between bullet resistant and bullet proof. > > > > Additionally, having bullet resistant body panels and glass will definitely help if you are being shot at, but not if you are in a 30 mph collision with another vehicle. Bullet resistant materials spread the force of a single impact point over a large area to absorb the force of the impact. If you are struck with a fast moving vehicle, bullet resistant material will not prevent damage to your vehicle, or to yourself. > > L. Guardian, > > I was merely making an observation, not insinuating that either “bullet proof” or “bullet resistant” glass and body panels would do anyone any good during a crash. I figured that putting the observation in parentheses and the use of the word “incidentally” would make this clear. Guess not. And as it was an aside, I simply reported what I remembered - thus the “bullet proof” vs. “bullet resistant” mistake. > > \*\* Totally understandable mistake. However, to bring up such a fact during a conversation about the potential safety of a vehicle in a crash would logically imply that said fact supports your ideas about the car’s safety. I will admit that I assumed that you were intending to use it in that manner and felt obliged to correct you on the point. However, the car having bullet resistant body panels and glass and being “completely bullet proof” are still hugely different things. ---
**Author:** ![ReservoirDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8edcca/32.png) [@ReservoirDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ReservoirDog)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/26 "2000-08-22T20:42:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zenster \* > **No one was injured, no children were harmed in the writing of this thread, all events were at less than 20 MPH.** Not in my little scenario. There was lots of bloodshed, carnage, anguish, and destruction, including the implied demise of an infant, and a brutal animal attack. And I really did think it was funny. For the record, you laugh at the SUV drivers. It does not stand for Super Urban Vehicle, and it shouldn’t be driven exclusively through the city streets, fucknugget. I think BMWs are pretty cool, myself. ---
**Author:** ![Dawg144](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Dawg144](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawg144)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/27 "2000-08-22T20:44:23Z")
Really though all SUV’s are not that terribly expensive, some are in the high teens all the way to the 60K, I have a more strict criteria for owning an SUV than “I make gobs, and gobs of money”. I live in an area that sees substantial snow fall, I love to camp, hike and bring my dogs along while doing it. So those are the reason that I chose to purchase said vehicle. Now I do agree that the average SUV owner toughest obsticle is generally the speedbumps at the mall, but hey to each his own. Now dont get me started on the gas mileage… ---
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/28 "2000-08-22T21:00:04Z")
OK, quick poll: Do any of the people who got all bent out of shape by the OP _not_ own an SUV or a BMW? ---
**Author:** ![tradesilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/439d5e/32.png) [@tradesilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tradesilicon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/29 "2000-08-22T21:18:57Z")
Zenster, > [@](#): > > Casdave and Uke Ike both, unlike so many other posters, must actually have a sense of humor. Actually, I love a good joke, but… > [@](#): > > The SUV / BMW incident occurred in Silicon Valley. If you have ever experienced the traffic in this area, and seen the amount of traffic that is directly caused by the rude drivers that disproportionately occupy the aforementioned vehicles, you would appreciate this thread. Since I am also in the Bay Area, and drive the freeways and several cities daily, I can tell you that asshole drivers come in all vehicles in the same proportions. And since we are fighting ignorance, let’s not perpetuate incorrect stereotypes. I also used to ride a bike, but I have noticed many assholes on bikes, who feel it’s fine to squeeze in between cars doing 60. Stupid behavior, but I would not laugh if one crashed (or almost crashed). BTW, what do you drive? I’ll aim my SUV at you next time I see you on the freeway!😉 > [@](#): > > But most of all, I detect a real whiff, make that reek, of politically correct overtones. Now that is really uncalled for! Political Correctness will not be tolerated in the fight against ignorance. That’s the last impression I want to make on anyone. spoke - how about those who own one of each? ---
**Author:** ![Homer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/df788c/32.png) [@Homer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homer)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/30 "2000-08-22T21:22:55Z")
I got all pissy. I’m terribly PC and it bumped my sensibilities. I can’t imagine laughing at anything or anyone unless a convention of liberals and pols okay it first. Then, I just snicker. I don’t want to overdo it. Might make someone angry. Nothin like not thinking for yourself. It makes life so much easier. –Tim ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/31 "2000-08-22T22:10:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Dawg144 \* > > **Or is it more envy on your part that you are not driving a nicer car right now and the fact that these people have gone out of there way to drive one of these cars has you just a bit more irritated than you care to let on.** > > Yeah…{sob}…you’ve nailed it…it’s expensive car envy…I really REALLY want to be driving an enormous SUV! > Thank you or letting me express my innermost yearnings. Where should I send the check, Dr. Freud? > > Okay, I’m out of this thread. I haven’t heard this much banana oil since the time I equated SUV drivers with the small-dicked. \*\* Ike, you’re a man after my own heart. Some people just can’t see a joke even when they get bitten on the neck by one. As for you Mr Cynical, Tradesilicon and Dawg144 if you’re thinking of flaming me, to f\*\*\*ing late. I’ve already flamed myself in the barbecue pit. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35623](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=35623) Eat your hearts out boys and girls. ---
**Author:** ![Dawg144](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecccb3/32.png) [@Dawg144](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dawg144)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/32 "2000-08-22T22:21:29Z")
There is no reason to flame either you Zen or Ike, just knowing the fact that there are people out there like you who get bent out of shape by what other people are driving is satifying enough. ---
**Author:** ![Meephead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/33 "2000-08-22T22:23:35Z")
I don’t know if I would laugh, but I would certainly be shaking my head at the ignorance of the SUV driver… I personally don’t buy into the “SUVs are safer” BS. In general, an SUV is heavier, less powerful (considering its ponderous mass), and far less manouverable. What this means is that while the driver and passengers may fare better in an accident, the accident may well have been avoided in a more sensible (IMO) vehicle. Also, since the SUV is higher off the ground, it is more likely yo roll over in an accident. Another problem with being higher and heavier, is that whatever the driver of the SUV hits will suffer more for it. Safer for the passengers in the SUV, btu what about the midsize sedan that they hit? It isn’t too much better in the large luxury cars either. At least they are closer to the ground and handle a little better. I’ll get of my soapbox now… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/34 "2000-08-22T23:05:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by spoke- \* > \*\*OK, quick poll: > > Do any of the people who got all bent out of shape by the OP _not_ own an SUV or a BMW? > > \*\* Well, I come from a BMW-owning family. (That sounds awfully pretentious, but my dad has one of the mega-huge 740 ILs… little man, big car. Hmmmmm.) I gotta admit, many many many BMW and SUV drivers think they own the road and devil take whoever doesn’t get out of the way. I think it’s a matter not only of the money, but of the safety specs, or the appearance of safety. Put a good driver behind the wheel, and your joke falls flat. Put some asshole, cell-phone-gabbing, using-the-Palm-Pilot-while-driving, passing, swerving, and speeding jerkoff behind the wheel of either car, and, well… I start having flashbacks and cowering under furniture. ::shudder:: I drive a little car, and if I had a dollar for everytime a behemoth SUV or some slicked-back yuppie in a BMW/Infiniti/Accord/Lexus has cut me off, tried to take me off the road, swerved wildly, and in one case, rear-ended me (bastard!), I’d be able to afford one of those übermobiles myself. ---
**Author:** ![Molotov\_Korova](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/41988e/32.png) [@Molotov\_Korova](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Molotov_Korova)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/35 "2000-08-23T01:05:33Z")
I would laugh at the guy who was standing on the curb waiting for his bus and got hit by the bumper/hubcap/shattered glass that flew from the collision,causing him severe pain/hospitalization/headache and the humiliation of me (and perhaps others) laughing their asses off at him in their own car/walking down the street/eating in an outside cafe. Either him or the mentally retarded kid in the wheelchair banging his hand on his chest with his tongue lolling out. Each are both damn funny. ---
**Author:** ![WolfpackJeep](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpackjeep/32/2921_2.png) [@WolfpackJeep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WolfpackJeep)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/36 "2000-08-23T01:40:17Z")
An SUV less powerful? Most of the decent ones come with at least V8 standard. Then again, there may be a point there–so many people buy those vehicles for looks instead of actual utility and wind up with a V6 and no 4 wheel drive. ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/37 "2000-08-23T01:51:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeep’s Phoenix \* > \*\*An SUV less powerful? Most of the decent ones come with at least V8 standard. Then again, there may be a point there–so many people buy those vehicles for looks instead of actual utility and wind up with a V6 and no 4 wheel drive. \*\* Ok… ---
**Author:** ![Meephead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b782af/32.png) [@Meephead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meephead)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/38 "2000-08-23T02:03:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Jeep’s Phoenix \* > \*\*An SUV less powerful? Most of the decent ones come with at least V8 standard. Then again, there may be a point there–so many people buy those vehicles for looks instead of actual utility and wind up with a V6 and no 4 wheel drive. \*\* There is that, plus the fact that most SUVs are built on truck frames and are heavier by several hundred pounds than a car with an equivalent amount of interior space. …And 4WD? How many people do you know who actually use it. They buy that for looks too, in most cases. There are people who use it, and I am not knocking them, but why pay the extra insurance and gas costs, plus the factor of being less safe on normal roads? Is it for better traction? I still don’t get it. My little truck (yes I haul stuff on a regular basis and need a truck) has a limited slip rearend and in most slippery situations handles as well or better than the 4WD vehicles I see around me. Now an AWD vehicle would be a good plan, but that is another story altogether. For a few good laughs, and some education along the way, check out these guys: [http://poseur.4x4.org](http://poseur.4x4.org) ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/39 "2000-08-23T02:28:23Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Athena \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by tracer \* > > \*\*I would laugh at the BMW driver, because the SUV is much better built to withstand the force of impact. > > > > Or I suppose I could just drive over their cars in an Abrams tank and laugh at _both_ of them. \*\* > > Ummm… have you ever looked at the safety specs of a BMW? I highly doubt the bimmer would crumple under the impact from an SUV. They’re generally very safe cars. > > (incidentally, as I looked at [http://www.bmwusa.com](http://www.bmwusa.com) for info on the 7 series, I notice that it’s completely bullet proof. Now there’s a feature you don’t see everyday!) \*\* And your Abrams tank might have even _catching_ either of the two cars. Peace, mangeorge ---
**Author:** ![tracer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tracer/32/20578_2.png) [@tracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tracer)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2000, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286/40 "2000-08-23T02:36:01Z")
mangeorge wrote: > [@](#): > > And your Abrams tank might have even _catching_ either of the two cars. I’m sorry, mangeorge, but my parser crashed and coredumped trying to handle that sentence. What did you mean? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-suv-and-bmw-almost-collide-whom-do-you-laugh-at-first/30286.md?page=3)