# A talking toy doll of you is being made. What would it say? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2005, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868 "2005-11-01T05:31:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/1 "2005-11-01T05:31:54Z")
You know those toy dollies that have the string in the back that you pull? “TALKING \_\_\_\_ SAYS UP TO FIVE DIFFERENT PHRASES!” is how the package usually reads. Okay…so now a talking toy of YOU is being made. What things would it say? And by all means, include inside jokes, unknown origins, and things that would just make sense to you or those who know what you do in your real life. For example, when asking a friend in IM about this–which is where this topic idea came from–she replied one phrase her toy would say is “Try out our Extreme Value today!”. This was enormously funny…but only if you knew she words at a Jewel Osco where she’s supposed to offer it to most customers. Makes it more fun and interesting to figure out, I say. My doll would probably say things like: “Two cheeseburgers and a 5 piece chicken tenders, please” “Get off of the counter, Midnight.” and “Yes. Yes. Uh huh. I agree.” Yours? Give us one or two lines. ---
**Author:** ![Kitchen\_Wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f08c70/32.png) [@Kitchen\_Wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kitchen_Wench)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/2 "2005-11-01T05:42:03Z")
“Fucker.” “Will you do my feet?” “I’d rather clean toilets than wash silverware.” “What do you want for dinner?” Bawdy laughter. ---
**Author:** ![Corrvin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bbce88/32.png) [@Corrvin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corrvin)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/3 "2005-11-01T05:52:17Z")
“It’s all fun and games until someone loses the on-call!” (work stuff) and “It’s all right, I wasn’t wearing any.” C. ---
**Author:** ![Susie\_Derkins](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47774/32.png) [@Susie\_Derkins](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Susie_Derkins)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/4 "2005-11-01T05:52:43Z")
“Use your fucking blinker!!” “If I could just lose a few pounds…” “Number two combo, please!” ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/5 "2005-11-01T05:57:49Z")
**Regallag the Axe talking action figure!** \* Hear him say all your favorite mighty warlord phrases! “I shall decimate them!” "Come. Let us conquer them all! “RAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!” “Fight me and die. Follow me and live to kill.” “I shall slay them untill the oceans run red!” \*Note: action figure not intended for children. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/6 "2005-11-01T05:58:37Z")
“I don’ wanna go to work today” “What the hell am I going to have for dinner?” “Is it Friday, yet?” “Where’s my pretty kitty brush-ho?” “luvyaloribye” ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/7 "2005-11-01T06:00:52Z")
Well, well John Barleycorn! We meet at last! What do mean I need to get “tutored” like a dog? Yes, I ate your stupid plums, they were delicious so sweet, and so cold. No, no… I _love_ Whip Bitches, can’t get enough of 'em! Wanna thumb wrestle? ---
**Author:** ![revolver\_4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b9e5f3/32.png) [@revolver\_4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/revolver_4)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/8 "2005-11-01T06:25:30Z")
Jeez! Oh, crap! Fuck shit. No shit. I love you. ---
**Author:** ![woodstock989](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f05b48/32.png) [@woodstock989](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/woodstock989)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/9 "2005-11-01T06:26:04Z")
Get the fuck outta the passing lane! Eh bite me. Piss off. Fuck off **Loaded**. Younze are weird. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/10 "2005-11-01T06:28:27Z")
The Seven doll with Kung Pao grip! Play _Tech support India_ with your Seven doll: “My fault? Did you know everytime you lie you make the baby Gandhi cry.” Put your Seven action doll in front of the System Admin PlayCenter\* and let the fun begin: “You did what?” “How 'bout first you go back to your cubbie and figure out what you want the software to do. When you know, then we’ll talk.” “It’s software not Jesus” Play house with your Seven action doll and his 14 year old daughter doll. Seven AtHome action doll says these 10 great sayings: “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” “Hang up the phone” and “Good night daughter” Start fights with your other action dolls with RollEyes Seven: “I do fucking NOT look like Russell Crowe” \*Action figures and playsets sold separately. Seven action figures not to be used as false idols. ---
**Author:** ![lel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8797f3/32.png) [@lel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lel)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 6:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/11 "2005-11-01T06:41:26Z")
My talking toy doll does nothing but scream randomly. ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/12 "2005-11-01T07:02:09Z")
“Bee?” (alternately, a string of happy, nonsensical sing-song “bee bee bee bee bee… bee. bee. bee bee beebeebee beeeee” noises.) “Hnnng!” or “Hoe! [Ho-ay!]”(in a high pitched, hurt sounding voice) “Oh,\* bloody \* hell.” “You’re my favourite.” “ICE-O CO-REAM-A!” “I heart moon!” ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 7:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/13 "2005-11-01T07:56:56Z")
“Chicken burrito, no beans, no salsa. Sour cream and cheese, please” “Oh, fuck off.” “I’ll have another caucasian, Gary.” ---
**Author:** ![Idle\_Thoughts](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/838e76/32.png) [@Idle\_Thoughts](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idle_Thoughts)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/14 "2005-11-01T08:11:01Z")
I’m picturing, in my mind’s eye with all of these, a little kid of about 9 holding each of these dolls, pulling the string, and hearing all these lines. Ha. ---
**Author:** ![roger\_thornhill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d9b06d/32.png) [@roger\_thornhill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/roger_thornhill)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/15 "2005-11-01T08:14:53Z")
Well, if it’s a doll, my daughter, who still likes playing dressing up with her awful Barbie dolls, will hear it, so let’s try: “Later!” “No, “later”, as in perhaps this evening, or perhaps tomorrow” “Shower! NOW!” “No, it’s not later yet” ---
**Author:** ![FlyingRamenMonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@FlyingRamenMonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FlyingRamenMonster)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/16 "2005-11-01T08:38:53Z")
“Uhhhhh…” “The book was better.” “Octopodes! Octopodes!” “So this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel down his pants…” “Oh, the angst.” ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 9:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/17 "2005-11-01T09:08:15Z")
Wooooo Nice ASS!!! Shake that _thang_!!! ---
**Author:** ![Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bb73d2/32.png) [@Dark\_Side\_of\_the\_Floyd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dark_Side_of_the_Floyd)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 9:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/18 "2005-11-01T09:09:39Z")
“Sh, I’m reading.” “Yes, I drew it.” “Holy shit!” “Christ!” “Let’s go play DDR.” “It’s a band.” “Meh. Go away.” “Really? Well, Golly!” “He’d look better if he were wearing a tie.” ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/19 "2005-11-01T09:30:45Z")
“You’re a sarstard.” “You’re a sarsarse.” “You’re an arsetard.” That’s me! ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2005, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868/20 "2005-11-01T10:45:35Z")
“Fuck.” “Fuck on a stick with a side of FUCK!” “Never explain by stupidity what can be attributed to cupidity.” “Self-confidence? Ha! Who needs _that_?” “Seeyabye.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-talking-toy-doll-of-you-is-being-made-what-would-it-say/328868.md?page=2)