# A thanksgiving tale of Whoa, or now it can be toll'd (tmi) **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 6, 2002, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987 "2002-12-06T18:58:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/21 "2002-12-06T20:14:43Z")
The candle was on the window sill beside me. I lit it and then threw the match between my legs into the toilet. It ricocheted off my panties and set my crotch on fire. ---
**Author:** ![Kal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de053/32.png) [@Kal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kal)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/22 "2002-12-06T20:18:35Z")
::Breaking News:: **jarbabyj** has just been arrested by Australian police officers, who suspect her of being behind the spate of bush fires around Sydney. More at 11. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/23 "2002-12-06T20:19:45Z")
_“It ricocheted off my panties and set my crotch on fire.”_ Sounds like the verse from a Country and Western song. ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/24 "2002-12-06T20:24:14Z")
LOL! Lieu, you rock. b. ---
**Author:** ![NicePete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ee7513/32.png) [@NicePete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NicePete)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/25 "2002-12-06T20:24:30Z")
…And it’s deep, too! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/26 "2002-12-06T20:42:45Z")
Course **Billy** , might’n that Super Hard Turtle Wax you put on [your](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=147539&perpage=50&pagenumber=1)thighs have something to do with their lack of an appreciable toehold? ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/27 "2002-12-06T20:43:26Z")
I love you guys. :: wipes tears from eyes :: ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/28 "2002-12-06T21:08:12Z")
A dear friend of mine used to work the customer support line for a major plumbing fixtures company. She was being trained, being new to the job, and had a phone headset on that had no mic, so she would merely listen in on her trainer’s calls. One of the calls started with the man on the other line saying something like “Am I glad to hear you; you won’t believe how many times I called in and got a woman on the phone, but I’m too embarrassed to talk to one about this.” The (male) trainer looked over at my friend who was listening in, then asked what the problem was. It seems that he’d just gotten a new toilet from this company, and when he sat down on it, he also experienced the “dipping” phenomenon but without having to lean forward to cause it. What the caller wanted was to know which of the company’s toilets had a larger gap between the seat level and the water level. Meanwhile the CS guy had to keep from laughing, and my friend was giggling her head off while listening in. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/29 "2002-12-06T21:09:56Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*It’s a wonderful story, and I’d love to see your sack, but gosh…it just doesn’t seem as gross as you make it out to be. > > Had you peed in said water? If not, it’s just…water… > > A shower seems unnecessary. > > But seriously, congrats on the huge sack. \*\* Unless you bleach your toilet after each use… it’s not… just… water… _eww_ Opal who can’t decide if she’s more grossed out at the toilet aspect or at the prospect of a gigantic scrotum ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/30 "2002-12-06T21:12:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*So gravity and your scrotum are engaged in a sack race? \*\* Don’t look at me, I got nothin’ to do with this! ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/31 "2002-12-06T21:45:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Carcosa \* > \*\*I foresee a really heinous zipper story in your future. \*\* _Cranky adds Carcosa to her list of favorite new posters_ ---
**Author:** ![Billy\_Rubin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billy_rubin/32/3622_2.png) [@Billy\_Rubin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billy_Rubin)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/32 "2002-12-06T21:49:33Z")
No zipper stories, please. Besides, I don’t tend to “take 'em out” when my pants are merely unzipped. Just invites disaster. And it frightens the neighbors. b. ---
**Author:** ![Demise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@Demise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Demise)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/33 "2002-12-06T22:28:17Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Billy Rubin \* > \*\* I DIP MY BALLS INTO THE TOILET WATER ICK! ICK! ICK! ICK!_\* You mean this isn’t a desired effect? Huh. I think I’ve been doing it wrong. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/34 "2002-12-06T22:34:01Z")
Jeez, you guys lead exciting bathroom lives. I mean, I get excited when I get _quilted_ toilet paper… ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2002, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/35 "2002-12-06T22:37:23Z")
_Well wipe my ass with a quilt!_ Now that’s a saying you don’t hear every day. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/36 "2002-12-07T00:05:22Z")
“And that’s how I learned the true meaning of Christmas…” ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/37 "2002-12-07T02:47:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\*The candle was on the window sill beside me. I lit it and then threw the match between my legs into the toilet. It ricocheted off my panties and set my crotch on fire. \*\* Just one more reason to go commando. Those fuckin’ panties’ll kill ya. ---
**Author:** ![Sylkyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/da6949/32.png) [@Sylkyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylkyn)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/38 "2002-12-07T06:19:17Z")
Y’know…you really got balls to even tell this tale. And I do mean **balls**! Thanks for sharing! No…really! [sub]quietly looking up Billy’s email to request pic of said balls…just for the helluvit…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/39 "2002-12-07T06:38:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Giraffe \* > \*\*“And that’s how I learned the true meaning of Christmas…” \*\* I seriously almost knocked over my computer laughing so hard. Thank you, **Giraffe**. I haven’t had such a giggle in ages. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2002, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987/40 "2002-12-07T10:35:29Z")
It’s a good thing your mom didn’t take my advice about floating votive candles in the toilet bowl. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thanksgiving-tale-of-whoa-or-now-it-can-be-tolld-tmi/140987.md?page=3)