A thread for all dopers in tech support

Oh, here’s some real tips for calling tech support. It won’t make you friends, but it will get you what you want.

If you want something replaced without having to troubleshoot it, give it to someone that knows nothing about computers, preferably female (we’re often sexist too), preferably a secratary (If I here the word secratary, they get it replaced. I deal no further with it). If neither is available, give it to someone with the thickest accent you can find, preferably middle eastern or russian. The tech will replace it rather than deal with trying to understand the accent.

If you have something out of warranty, call anyways. When they say no, ask for a supe. If they say no, ask again. Eventually you’ll reach someone that will give you what you want so they don’t have to talk to you. This rarely takes more than 2 steps up the chain.

If you are brave enoguh to let support fix your problem, shut up and listen. While it is helpful to know what is on your screen, the tech probably has most of the messages memorized. Alo listen for papers shuffling. If they shuffle papers a lot, they are probably fishing for a solution. If they eventually just tell you to reinstall windows, say thanks and call back, they don’t have an idea.

If we don’t know the answer, we’ll usually say to reinstall windows. Many times this is really what it will take to solve your problem. Or your problem is too far beyond what anyone would want to support. Other times, they tech just gave up or is lazy. Other things we’ll say are call microsoft, or run scandisk. The trick is figuring out when it’s us and when it’s the computer. Call back and try another tech, if they say the same, it might really be the computer.