# A Thread NOT For the Easily Creeped Out

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [October 27, 2003, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825 "2003-10-27T12:01:28Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 3

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**Author:** ![silly\_duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c6cbf5/32.png) [@silly\_duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silly_duck)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/41 "2003-10-28T00:38:05Z")

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All I can say is, hee!

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**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/42 "2003-10-28T00:52:33Z")

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I am not qualified.\*

Otherwise I’d be right there at the table holding **FairyChatMom** ’s hand. Her right (dexter) hand for preference, because the left (sinister) hand is unlucky. Or so I’m told. Like I said, I’m not qualified to deal with this “seance” stuff. My edumacation in occult weirdness stopped when I was ten and my brother and I colluded in freaking out my sister with a Ouija board. Seriously, you guys don’t want my “help” in this endeavor. I reserve the right to kibitz and criticize, however.

I’d be very happy to get **Rue** back, you understand, but I’m unwilling to tamper with Powers Best Left Alone And Slightly Silly if I can avoid it. So you guys do the candle-and-incense-burning-combined-with-chanting-and-maybe-chicken-blood thing, and I’ll just sit over here and watch.

Let me know how it turns out.

\*Real engineers don’t have any truck with magic.

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**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/43 "2003-10-28T01:10:53Z")

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You’d best say something besides “hee,” **silly duck**.

Don’t make me start another “Newbies and Lurkers” thread, because those thing can get ugly.

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**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/44 "2003-10-28T02:56:14Z")

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:: sniffing and looking around expectantly ::

Did someone say “cheese”? Purrrrrr…

:: hears “squeeesqueesqueeek” in distance; bottles tail, arches back and hisses ::

Uhhhhhh… maybe I’ll have some fondue later…

:: bolts for cover, knocking over Ouija board, upending seance table, and scratching **swampbear** in mad scramble to escape ::

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**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/45 "2003-10-28T05:42:44Z")

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I’m in. What wine goes with seanceing? (seanceage?)

I’m no expert on occult, but I definately know weird.

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**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 11:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/46 "2003-10-28T11:10:57Z")

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**Bumb** , you’ve been posting here for over 3 years - if you don’t know weird by now, you never will.

As for the wine - I prefer something sweet - maybe a little bubbly too. Asti Spumanti? But if I’m gonna be holding hands here (left is still available), I’ll need it served in a glass with a straw, 'k?

Hey, do you suppose ghostly **Rue** would be drawn out by a little cleavage? I could rearrange the bodice of my gown just a little. Not too much, mind you, I’m respectable and all that crap… 😃

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**Author:** ![i\_like\_bacon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/54ee81/32.png) [@i\_like\_bacon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/i_like_bacon)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/47 "2003-10-28T11:25:21Z")

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guys dressed in tablecloths carrying foam rubber swords…

hmm i find this intriguing and oddly exciting.

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**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/48 "2003-10-28T12:03:17Z")

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Wow, that was some _weird_ stuff going on, man. This hand… _made of string cheese!_… reached right out of the computer and grabbed me! That was freaky. Luckily for me, the grasping hand was made out of something my dog Lucy could eat. Never wave a cheesy hand in front of a Jack Russell and expect to pull anything back but a stump. There’s lesson in there I think. (And if it was just an iron claw or wooden hook, I’d be in Beeg Tvouble like Moose and Skwir-el\*.)

I wound up in this really scary place with my dog and this guy with no cheese on his hand. That’s not so odd when you think about it, because most people you meet when you’re walking down the street _don’t_ have cheese on their hand. Unless they’re a nacho vendor or something. But he ran away crying, so I guess that’s the last I’ll be seeing of him.

If you ever get sucked into the Netherworld by a cyberghost with a cheese hand, always take your dog with you. (Or better yet, my dog. She has experience.) Your dog can save you from the cheese hand by eating it and then, after she sniffs around for a while and pees on stuff, she’ll get bored and wander back to the Land of the Living because it’s about dinner time. No one gets between my dog and her dinner, let me tell you.

So I’m back now. What’s this I hear about cleavage?

Oh, and has anyone heard from **Shibb** lately? He didn’t get eaten by [coyotes](http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2003/10/24/loc_coyotes24.html) did he?  
-Rue. (here now)

\*Natashia Fatale from Bullwinkle. It’s a cartoon reference.

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**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/49 "2003-10-28T12:30:28Z")

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Does that mean no seance? No wine? No hand-holding?

☹

Oh, welcome back **Rue** , I guess… \<sigh\>

Oh yeah - I’ve got a cheese stick for a snack today - make sure you keep Lucy under control. I won’t appreciate having my cheese stick snarfed down by a doggie. Maybe I should tuck it into the aforementioned cleavage for safekeeping…

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**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/50 "2003-10-28T12:45:29Z")

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There was a seance at my house last night? That’s what all the noise was in my breakfast area? (It’s the only round table in the house. It seats six.) I almost got out of bed to look it got so loud!

Now, on to the mess in my kitchen and breakfast area this morning. If yer gonna sneak in and have a seance, at least clean up after yourselves people! Why did y’all fry six pounds of bacon? Who ate all the cheezits? Dammit, I don’t even how y’all found em being as they were hidden behind the dryer and under a mound of dirty towels. I thought that was a safe hiding place. You didn’t find the beer though. **HAH!** No one thought to go out to the pool house and open the refrigerator cleverly disguised as a plastic storage closet. That’s where the beer is. Five cases of Asti Spumante? It took five cases to bring **Rue** back from the other side? I do appreciate the left over onion dip y’all put in the kitchen refrigerator. It was good for breakfast today. **FairyChatMom** was that your floaty gown I found out in the garage this morning? Just thought ya might want to know where ya left it. **welby** I will assume that the rainbow colored dress err… tunic is yours as well as the tiara.

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**Author:** ![Wintermute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e19b73/32.png) [@Wintermute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wintermute)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/51 "2003-10-28T14:22:33Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Ponder Stibbons \*  
> \*\*You know, **Wintermute** , I think it’s mean the way you take **Slortar** ’s lunch money. I mean, you could _share_ with the rest of us you know! \*\*

I’m sorry, **Ponder** , I wasn’t holding out. It’s just that **Slortar’s** mommy is cheap and doesn’t give him very much, so I have been saving it until it’s a decent amount. Then I thought I buy some chocolate chips and make cookies for everyone, but if you’d rather have the cash, just let me know.

And so, **Slortar** , I have foiled your evil plan by simply saving the money. 😛

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**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/52 "2003-10-28T14:57:45Z")

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Sorry **Swampy**. The tiara is mine. I… uh… FOUND it on my way back and thought someone would like it. As a souvenir kinda thing. Yeah, a souvenir…

I also have some REAL NEWS!

Next week we’re getting new carpet. In about half the house. This means I’ll probably not (NOT) be online Monday and Tuesday. It all depends on the Carpet People. I just thought I’d let you know.

This particular house-thing was supposed to wait until Spring. (Or Vern if you prefer.) But _someone_ said we should probably get on it before the Holidays. _Someone_ also said this will be the last thing we have to do to the house for a while. _Someone_ will probably want to paint or something soon though. But the upside of painting is it has to wait til Vern so we can open windows and let the fumes out.  
-Rue. (prognosticating the future)

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**Author:** ![sultana\_of\_slash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@sultana\_of\_slash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sultana_of_slash)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/53 "2003-10-28T15:23:34Z")

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I can’t talk about my nemesis. He has a 1920’s style mmort slguugule strpth

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**Author:** ![Bumbazine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbazine/32/362_2.png) [@Bumbazine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbazine)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/54 "2003-10-28T15:50:55Z")

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So that’s what happened to Vern? [sub](Obscure Trading Places reference)[/sub] **Rue** has him locked up in his basement sorting out carpet samples.  
Here’s a tip **Rue** : you should paint _before_ you put down new carpet. Don’t ask me how I know these things, I just do.

So do we need to elect somebody to kick off the MMP next week? Or is it too early to think about that?

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**Author:** ![Exgineer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Exgineer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exgineer)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/55 "2003-10-28T19:29:33Z")

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The last time **Rue** took a break (to move into the soon-to-be-carpeted house) **welby** did the substitute MMP.

Much as I hate to admit it, he did a pretty good job.

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**Author:** ![Aries28](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Aries28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aries28)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/56 "2003-10-28T21:40:46Z")

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I want a nemesis. ☹

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**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\
**Post date:** [October 28, 2003, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/57 "2003-10-28T22:36:41Z")

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Well dammit **Aries** , read the thread. I told everyone I have extra nemesis time. But instead of reading you pout. Typical Aries.

Just for that I’m going to send my “Sort-of-Evil Platypusses From The Place 5 Doors Down From Heck(On the Good Side of the Tracks)” to tickle your feet.

How’s that for Nemesising?

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**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\
**Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/58 "2003-10-29T00:02:02Z")

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Oh damn–I missed the seance! I spent so much time picking just the right outfit and deciding on the perfect hostess gift that I missed the whole thing. I feel like Linus in the pumpkin patch on Halloween night, but waiting for a visit from Martha Stewart instead of the Great Pumpkin. \<sigh\>

**Welby** , do you still have some nemesis time? I’m a pretty low-maintenance nemesee.

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**Author:** ![Rue\_DeDay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/41988e/32.png) [@Rue\_DeDay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rue_DeDay)\
**Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/59 "2003-10-29T12:16:38Z")

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If you still have your seancing kit ready to go **moonie** , we haven’t heard from **Shibb** yet. We could gone paranormal fishing and see if he’s in the Big Pond Beyond. Or we could just turn off the lights and let everyone hold hands and see what becomes of that.

Personally I vote Option #2. The idea of finding **Dead Shibb** after he’s been eaten by coyotes isn’t all that appealing.

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**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\
**Post date:** [October 29, 2003, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-thread-not-for-the-easily-creeped-out/209825/60 "2003-10-29T12:42:17Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Rue DeDay \*  
> \*\*Personally I vote Option #2. The idea of finding **Dead Shibb** after he’s been eaten by coyotes isn’t all that appealing. \*\*

Or platypuses. Platypusei. Platypodia…platypeese…oh, screw it. You know what I mean.

Don’t you think **welby** has been acting kinda strange lately…started about when **Shibb** disappeared, didn’t it? Hmmm.  
Oooh, now **wintermute’s** insulting my mommy. That’s just low.

I’d offer **moonstarssun** a little bit of spare nemesissing, but **wintermute** gets jealous easily. I wonder if she’s noticed the iocaine powder I covered her…_cough_…my lunch money with by now?

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