# A tiny dot, a life is not. This pregnancy didn’t last **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 29, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151 "2009-08-29T13:59:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/1 "2009-08-29T13:59:45Z")
Too small was the doctor’s measured response as we stared at the scans. Too small. A spec in a sea of rendered black, the little one was there, but not for long, for this one was not strong. No trumpets blew, no drums were beat, for the end was neither bitter nor sweet. The skies clouded and the heavens sighed. Wetness trickled down lines etched in checks from torments past when pain so vast had sunk the soul so low. This, on the same day the company said they can no longer afford me after 10 years. Our little one wasn’t alone in not growing. Though sadness visits, despair dares not to dwell. For while our losses are great, nothing is gained by cursing fate. In a world of change, there is not happiness without sorrow, life without death, or gain without pain. Despair would be selfish and unfair to those whose losses are greater. For we have each other and with that a love forged in fires that test the souls in ways that Disneyland dates could never know. We are lucky. For the one who was strong and stayed where so may had fled. For the sweetest little girl who now scans unfathomable adult conversations for words remotely resembling “bye bye” to give reason and excuse to wildly wave ten tiny fingers. I told my wife tonight that I love her. But not by words. Instead, I brought her home and laid her down, cooked her food, and held her hand. I washed the crimson from her clothes. No trumpets blew, no drums were beat. I’ll start look tomorrow for a new job, but tonight an almost eleven-month-old daughter was hugged and thanks were said for a happy life. I can ask for no more. ---
**Author:** ![Mame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/858c86/32.png) [@Mame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mame)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/2 "2009-08-29T14:14:11Z")
I am truly sorry for your loss. Both losses really. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/3 "2009-08-29T14:18:48Z")
Oh, **TP** , I’m so sorry to hear this news. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/4 "2009-08-29T14:23:50Z")
I am sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot feel what you feel, but I am aware of how much pain it is causing you - sending supporting thoughts your way. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/5 "2009-08-29T14:30:14Z")
I’m so sorry, **TokyoPlayer**. Imagine all of you being cherished by people the world over. ---
**Author:** ![gardentraveler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gardentraveler/32/3576_2.png) [@gardentraveler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gardentraveler)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/6 "2009-08-29T14:51:10Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry to read this, **TP**. Hugs for the whole family. GT ---
**Author:** ![Kolga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e56c9b/32.png) [@Kolga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kolga)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/7 "2009-08-29T14:55:31Z")
I’m so, so sorry for both endings. My thoughts are with you and your family. ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/8 "2009-08-29T14:56:08Z")
Hugs to all. ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/9 "2009-08-29T16:20:40Z")
I wish you the comfort of your family and hope for better times. With as much love as your family shares, things _will_ be better soon. Please take care and hang on, and continue to cherish each other. ---
**Author:** ![Lissla\_Lissar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8491ac/32.png) [@Lissla\_Lissar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissla_Lissar)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/10 "2009-08-29T16:26:57Z")
Oh, I’m so sorry. Many hugs for all of you. ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/11 "2009-08-29T16:28:06Z")
Hugs and best wishes to the three of you. May the wheel turn better for you soon. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/12 "2009-08-29T17:45:25Z")
Damn…very, very sorry to hear this, **TP**. ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/13 "2009-08-29T17:58:57Z")
I’m so sorry. Hold your girls close, as I know you will. I hope for better times for you all. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/14 "2009-08-29T18:12:41Z")
I’m sorry. Two swiftly dealt blows at once- that’s hard to take. Hang in there, and keep being grateful for what you do have. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/15 "2009-08-29T19:48:12Z")
Oh no. Hugs to all of you. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/16 "2009-08-29T19:51:45Z")
Oh, I’m so, so sorry. My wife has gone through several miscarriages as well, so I know something of what you are feeling. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/17 "2009-08-29T19:58:40Z")
You and the **Player** girls are in my thoughts, **TP**. Hold tight. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/18 "2009-08-29T19:59:56Z")
I’m sorry, **Tokyo Player**. I know you and your wife have had trouble in the past bringing new life into the world. Please cherish the two rare treasures you were gifted with, **Tokyo Wife** and your beautiful daughter. Let them be your rock. ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/19 "2009-08-29T20:20:14Z")
I’m so sorry. Hugs for the Player family from me, as well. (You write such beautiful, heart-rending words.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [August 29, 2009, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151/20 "2009-08-29T20:21:06Z")
Sometimes I think it was better when there weren’t pregnancy tests and something like this would have been “damn, I hate it when I miss a period!” Sorry, **TP**. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tiny-dot-a-life-is-not-this-pregnancy-didn-t-last/508151.md?page=2)