# A tired old rant -- but this time it nearly came to blows. \[Theatre etiquette.\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007 "2006-07-03T03:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/41 "2006-07-03T21:12:53Z")
> [@Airman Doors](#): > > I can put up with a lot of stuff, but until he turns 18 that kind of mutilation is out of the question. Pop, is that you? And we we’re just talking _ears._ I agree with the sentiment of the OP but not actually touching the other person. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 3, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/42 "2006-07-03T23:43:09Z")
> [@Lord Ashtar](#): > > Usually when there’s a Pit thread about how we need signal blockers in movie theaters, I’ll be one of the first ones there telling whoever is calling for that to fuck off. We won’t need them if more people would just do what **Larry** did. Confront them. Show them what as asshole they’re being. You’ll probably find that most of the theater will have your back. > > You need to shame assholes into not acting like assholes. You need to stand up for yourself. Nice idea, I agree with you on principle, but you gotta pick your battles. I don’t think it’s practical in the USA, very often. A few years back I was at a movie with my best friend & roommate. We were both in the military, male, in shape. My friend in particular, was a weight lifter and looked somewhat intimidating. There were some young guys a few rows ahead of us acting up, making lots of noise etc. My roommate leaned toward them and said “shut up!” They all turned around and you could tell they were all planning on saying “fuck you, we do what we want!” Until they got a look at the both of us. They shut up. Is that what it takes? You have to be physically more intimidating than them in order to correct their behavior? When I lived in Germany, and traveled through Russia, there were no end to the little old ladies who had no qualms about correcting someone else’s public behavior. They didn’t fear some young little snot. But do we have that in the States? Can a little old lady safely admonish some 17-year-old punk who feels he can do whatever the damn hell he wants? There are so many people in the States now who feel they can do what they want, and fuck you. “I got mine!” Is it safe to tell the asshole in the front row to shut the fuck up if you aren’t bigger than they are, and willing to back up the threat? Or if it’s a woman, you really going to risk laying a hand on her, or anything in her possession? You’re automatically going to jail you know. You do realize that don’t you? Even if she swung first and there are witnesses. If I physically intimidate the assholes in the front row to shut up, and it came to blows, I’m going to jail, and they’re suing my ass. If they kick the shit out of me and run out of the theater, the cops will never know who they were. But I’ll still have gotten the shit kicked out of me. What often happens is you tell someone to shut up, and they’ve already learned they can get away with just about anything by being a big, loud, intimidating “in your face” asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/43 "2006-07-04T00:47:36Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I whole heartedly agree, but I just know some indignant person is gonna pop in this thread and tell us how they have every God-given right to be in constant contact with their babysitter, aunt-on-life-support, broker, etc, etc. Just wait. Well, how about the _emergency room doctor_ whose phone rings during some tense cinematic scene _and must answer immediately_, then is compelled to _shout the entire procedure for countering anaphylactic shock_ to the medical student who is covering the E.R. _all by himself_ - or at the very least must _text message all of the vital lifesaving procedures_ for many minutes on end! How does _enjoyment of a mere movie_ compare to saving lives? _Hmmmmmmm???_ Seriously, I’ve seen the doctor-must-answer-the-call-immediately excuse here before. If there’s even a vague chance you’re gonna be needed that badly, doc, stay home. > [@Dinsdale](#): > > Sometimes I think these minor incivilities might be more worthy of punishment - including the infliction of physical pain or property damage - than “more serious” some intentional crimes. Rudy Giuliani? Is that you? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 1:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/44 "2006-07-04T01:38:02Z")
but its my phone It is going to be up your ass in a second if you don’t turn it off. But it’s my phone. It’s **OUR** movie and **YOUR** phone is ruining **OUR** movie. Now turn it off or I will rip out your tongue so you will never need a phone again. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/45 "2006-07-04T02:37:43Z")
Larry, if I take you to the movies with me could you do something about the annoying chair kickers? ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/46 "2006-07-04T02:55:49Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > When I lived in Germany, and traveled through Russia, there were no end to the little old ladies who had no qualms about correcting someone else’s public behavior. They didn’t fear some young little snot. > > But do we have that in the States? Can a little old lady safely admonish some 17-year-old punk who feels he can do whatever the damn hell he wants? Well, here’s one little old lady who is more than ready to do battle with any cloth-headed young jackanapes who thinks he can bellow into his cell phone. ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/47 "2006-07-04T03:52:42Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > Well, here’s one little old lady who is more than ready to do battle with any cloth-headed young jackanapes who thinks he can bellow into his cell phone. **Lev** loves **Eve**. Thank you ma’am. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/48 "2006-07-04T03:53:42Z")
It seems to be a generation Y attitude of ‘it’s my right’ to do whatever I want. We get some of that here - I’ve seen teens interviewed about smoking, and just about fell over when they said it was their right to smoke and noone was going to tell them not to. I have witnessed worse when in the States and here we don’t have to worry about the chastised laying in wait with guns, to worry about. I’m not so sure about the public transport thing - we are not on the bus or train to specifically watch something or listen to something, why is it rude to talk on your phone or chat to your friends or even sing quietly. I’d much rather do that than read as it makes me feel sick on a moving vehicle. I do have a loud voice and I’m used to speaking loudly as my mum has been deaf for a long time - the whole family speaks loudly because of this, but don’t mean to be rude. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/49 "2006-07-04T04:03:16Z")
> [@MelCthefirst](#): > > we are not on the bus or train to specifically watch something or listen to something, why is it rude to talk on your phone or chat to your friends or even sing quietly. On a commuter train (which I take often, both to and from work, and to and from Philadelphia), a good number of us want to read a book or the paper, or get some work done, or nap. None of which we can do when someone is **bellowing into the back of our skull**. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/50 "2006-07-04T04:08:36Z")
Way back when, I struck a young man in the mouth during **Cujo** because he refused to stop talking during the picture. What a shame for him that he got a fat lip over such a shitty movie. Hooligans, ne’er do wells, yeggs, blackguards, and other such dross sometimes need a stern reminder of how decent folk behave. Confronting them in packs can be ill-advised, but I have found they are rather craven when alone. They cower from those who display some spine. It doesn’t hurt to back that spine up with a sturdy walking stick, though. ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/51 "2006-07-04T04:43:02Z")
> [@Dinsdale](#): > > I dunno, **wring**. > Which points out the choice I perceive myself as often facing. Do I say/do nothing to rudeness and either try to ignore it or be pissed silently, or remove myself from the situation? Do I say something - however polite - and get more rudeness including direct hostility in response - which I will have a harder time ignoring? Or do I say something and have the person amend his or her behavior? > Unfortunately, in most such cases I feel that if I choose to say/do something, the odds are probably better than 50/50 that the impolite person will either ignore me or tell me to fuck off. So I feel the best way to ensure odds in my favor is to simply say nothing, which can lead to the feelings of powerlessness I referred to earlier. > > Like the Dumont one, tho. Have to remember it. Not to mention, the ever downward cycle of when no one does/says anything, these jerks feel more and more free to escalate and be even MORE rude and annoying. I like the Dumont one too. Another doper in a previous “annoying cell phone users” thread had some even funnier “your conversation is boring” retorts. I wish I could remember them. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 8:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/52 "2006-07-04T08:56:38Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > On a commuter train (which I take often, both to and from work, and to and from Philadelphia), a good number of us want to read a book or the paper, or get some work done, or nap. None of which we can do when someone is **bellowing into the back of our skull**. Agreed that it would be hard to read or work with someone bellowing and it is not necessarily something I would enjoy either, however, you didn’t pay your ticket to have a quiet place to work or read, you paid for the transport. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/53 "2006-07-04T09:04:46Z")
> [@CanvasShoes](#): > > \<-----------Claps, jumps up and down and gives Our Hero a resounding kiss! Ditto the first two, not so sure about the third. Errr…I think I’ll just go with a good old slap on the back. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/54 "2006-07-04T10:56:18Z")
> [@MelCthefirst](#): > > It seems to be a generation Y attitude of ‘it’s my right’ to do whatever I want. We get some of that here - I’ve seen teens interviewed about smoking, and just about fell over when they said it was their right to smoke and noone was going to tell them not to… Rights, and the other magic word need. I love how everything many teens/early 20’s seem to think everything in life has to conform with rules of evidence from court. We used to get tons of this when I was working amusement park security. We can eject you for looking funny, no we didn’t see it, we don’t need to, we don’t care, no we are not violating any of your civil rights, no you have not been convicted of a crime, no we don’t have to have any kinda of legal evidence, or a hearing, no your attorney will not be present, in fact if he shows up we will toss him out too. ---
**Author:** ![Mellivora\_capensis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@Mellivora\_capensis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mellivora_capensis)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/55 "2006-07-04T12:27:36Z")
> [@drachillix](#): > > Rights, and the other magic word need. > > I love how everything many teens/early 20’s seem to think everything in life has to conform with rules of evidence from court. We used to get tons of this when I was working amusement park security. We can eject you for looking funny, no we didn’t see it, we don’t need to, we don’t care, no we are not violating any of your civil rights, no you have not been convicted of a crime, no we don’t have to have any kinda of legal evidence, or a hearing, no your attorney will not be present, in fact if he shows up we will toss him out too. Reminds me of that brilliant courtroom scene in The Insider: “But we have RIGHTS, ya know!!!” “Yes, we have rights, and lefts, and ups, and downs…” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/56 "2006-07-04T15:11:17Z")
> [@MelCthefirst](#): > > Agreed that it would be hard to read or work with someone bellowing and it is not necessarily something I would enjoy either, however, you didn’t pay your ticket to have a quiet place to work or read, you paid for the transport. So, if I sat down next to you while you’re talking on your cell phone and started singing “Hard-Harded Hannah, the Vamp of Savannah” in a very loud Sophie Tucker imitation, you’d have no objection? After all, it’s within my _rights_ to do Sophie Tucker imitations on the train, and I do a damn good Sophie Tucker. ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/57 "2006-07-04T15:35:06Z")
Unfortunately, the law says you’re not allowed to touch someone, no matter how obnoxious they are being. The best recourse, is what the other patrons did and that is to get the manager. (Which, of course, means that you miss part of the movie while you retrieve the manager.) And I must say the manager in the OP should have kicked that kid out. It’s plainly against the rules to talk on cell phones AND to chatter during the movie. The kid may not ever be convinced that he was being rude, but he will certainly understand that cell phone = being kick out. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/58 "2006-07-04T15:38:50Z")
Cell phone use in live theater is incredibly inconsiderate to the performers and the audience. During movies is almost as bad. These inconsiderate jerks and jerkettes deserve to be told off and ejected amidst a hail of cheers from the crowd. I went to the movies a few days ago and “Please turn your cell phones Off now” came up twice before the movie started. I’d like to see the warning in stronger warning. “If you \*\*must \*\*answer your cell please go out into the hall. Taking calls inside the theater is prohibited” Or the hipper version A brief film clip of some kind confrontation in a theater where some young punk is told off even by his own age group “Dude! Get a clue! Turn off your cell” Other than that although I am fond of the idea of frontier justice and an ole fashion kick in the ass, it can certainly lead to trouble. Physical violence over a cell phone and a movie seems a bit much but I agree that ignoring the issue only encourages the behavior. I’d put some pressure on the theaters to solve the problem if they want people to come back. Ask them to turn it off. If they refuse go get a manager and insist they be ejected. You might also request a movie pass to replace the movie that was ruined. Still, that is wholly less satisfying than telling them to their face what an inconsiderate jackass they are being. Just a couple of days ago I was thinking of how our culture seems to more of a “taking care of number 1” than ever before. with too much blatant lack of consideration for people we share a community with. It’s a real problem that is reflected in our politics and economic policies as well. ---
**Author:** ![MelCthefirst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eada6e/32.png) [@MelCthefirst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MelCthefirst)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/59 "2006-07-04T20:17:47Z")
> [@Eve](#): > > So, if I sat down next to you while you’re talking on your cell phone and started singing “Hard-Harded Hannah, the Vamp of Savannah” in a very loud Sophie Tucker imitation, you’d have no objection? After all, it’s within my _rights_ to do Sophie Tucker imitations on the train, and I do a damn good Sophie Tucker. You didn’t read my post - I said I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy it. However, if I pay for a ticket to watch a movie or a play, I expect to be able to watch the movie or play without interruptions or distractions. If I pay for a ticket to ride on a bus or train, I do not expect it to be quiet because I’m paying for the ride, which I’m getting whether it is quiet or not. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 4, 2006, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/60 "2006-07-04T20:41:26Z")
> [@MelCthefirst](#): > > You didn’t read my post - I said I wouldn’t necessarily enjoy it. > However, if I pay for a ticket to watch a movie or a play, I expect to be able to watch the movie or play without interruptions or distractions. If I pay for a ticket to ride on a bus or train, I do not expect it to be quiet because I’m paying for the ride, which I’m getting whether it is quiet or not. You didn’t read _my_ earlier post, either: > [@](#): > > Mind you, not people who have conversations in a normal tone of voice, or do a quick, “I’m on the 5:47, meet me at the train station.” No, I’m taking about the, “ **HI, I’M ON THE TRAIN . . . NOTHING MUCH, WHAT’S UP WITH YOU?** ” people. If you’re one of the inconsiderate screamers who bellow their Ethel Merman voices all over the train and bother the hell out of everyone, damn right I’m getting in your face till you learn some manners. Or, as I said, maybe I’ll just sit next to you and start singing “Mairsey Doats” very loudly, over and over and over again. I sing rather well, and after all, you’re paying for _transportation_, not to be able to make a phone call, right? If I decide you’re going to listen to me singing in your face for the whole trip, that _is_ my right. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007.md?page=4)