# A tired old rant -- but this time it nearly came to blows. \[Theatre etiquette.\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007 "2006-07-03T03:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/81 "2006-07-07T14:22:57Z")
The only authorities on a train are the conductor(s) or the transit police. If you have an issue, your resposibility in a civilized society is to inform them about it so they can take action. And if they look at you like you have three heads, then you are probably the one who is out of line. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/82 "2006-07-07T14:24:37Z")
> [@quietman1920](#): > > Excuse me, Eve, but didn’t You type this? > > > [@Eve](#): > > > > damn right I’m getting in your face till you learn some manners. > > I’d hate to think someone made you type that line. (Maybe he had a cellphone to your head.) > > Getting in someones face and intentionally screaming (or singing loudly) with the intent to intimidate. Because their voice carries. Pardon me, Eve, but don’t you think that just might tip the line into, say… > > Assault? I hardly think singing counts as assault. Unless, of course, you’re singing Celine Dion. Do that and you should go to prison for the rest of your natural life. ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/83 "2006-07-07T14:37:41Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > What the hell is it with people who go to concerts and stand up when the music starts even though she’s the only dumbfuck standing in the ENTIRE SECTION?! This is a tricky one. She may have been annoying you, and sitting down after you asked certainly would have been the courteous thing to do, but on the other hand it’s not like standing at a concert is an outlandish or even unexpected behavior. I was at a Pixies concert last year and witnessed a similar argument. Just because the venue has seats doesn’t mean everyone is obligated to sit. Some people like to stand and dance at a rock concert and that’s not out of line. It sucks if someone who wants to sit happens to be right behind someone who wants to stand, but sometimes life isn’t perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/84 "2006-07-07T15:00:08Z")
New York magazine recently had an article on etiquette. [Here](http://www.newyorkmetro.com/guides/etiquette/17332/index4.html) is the section on cell phones and iPods. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/85 "2006-07-07T15:12:20Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > “Not meaning to be rude” is not the same thing as “not being rude.” In fact, I would venture to suggest that most people who are rude do not “mean to be rude.” The little douche in the OP almost certainly was not thinking, “I’m going to talk loudly on my cellphone to piss off all the other people in this theater!” More likely, he was thinking, “I’m going to speak loudly on my cellphone, just like I do when I’m at home,” and it never even crossed his mind that other people did not want to listen to him talk on his cellphone during their movie. Similarly, since you introduced yourself as an example, if you’re talking loudly in public, particularly in an enclosed place like a bus or an elevator, you’re being rude. You don’t mean to be rude, you’re just doing what you do at home when talking to your deaf momma. But if you don’t recognize that how you behave at home is often not appropriate behavior for public, you’re being rude. Intent does not enter into it. In fact, it is your _inattentiveness itself_ that makes you rude: you are not taking into consideration how your behavior is affecting the people around you. This is, at heart, the very definition of rudeness. ::applause:: ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/86 "2006-07-07T15:44:01Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > But please, don’t ever hit anyone over this sort of crap. It’s not worth it. Instead, take his cell phone away, and fling it against a hard surface, or toss it on top of a roof. How “accidentally” about dumping a $3 Coke on the idiot? And if any happens to get in the phone…oh, well. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/87 "2006-07-07T15:45:18Z")
Er, how about “accidenatlly” dumping… ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/88 "2006-07-07T18:29:22Z")
> [@wm--](#): > > It sucks if someone who wants to sit happens to be right behind someone who wants to stand, but sometimes life isn’t perfect. I’m not really even sure how to respond to this. I guess you’re right. I also figure that goes without saying. I don’t quite grok how it’s even _remotely_ on me to tolerate paying eighty-something bucks for a seat at a venue where the best view I am going to get is of some pasty white flabby badonk-a-donk, or subject the 6 or so rows of people behind me to the levi’s upholstered version of the same fate. See, _everybody_ in the section besides _her_ was sitting. There naturally comes a point in every rock-ish concert where people stand up. The very first song when _nobody else_ is standing is the wrong place to do it. Um-hmm. Life isn’t fair. I get that. I don’t have to take it sitting down, though. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/89 "2006-07-07T21:55:11Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > See, _everybody_ in the section besides _her_ was sitting. There naturally comes a point in every rock-ish concert where people stand up. The very first song when _nobody else_ is standing is the wrong place to do it. I’m just saying, that’s hardly an example of unambiguous rudeness, like taking a phone call in a movie theater. If another patron standing up hurt your enjoyment of the show, that has as much (or more) to do with your expectations as her behavior. It would be like not enjoying a concert because the other patrons clapped or cheered too loudly. It _is_ on you to tolerate it even if you don’t like it, because it’s normal behavior at a rock concert. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2006, 10:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/90 "2006-07-07T22:44:19Z")
Re: post #68 by **quietman** - I’m not following you at all in this post, **quietman**. Theatres aren’t trains? It’s okay to talk on cellphones on trains because someone might need pizza? You lost me. (Allow me to join those applauding **miller’s** post regarding rudeness.) ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/91 "2006-07-08T00:08:48Z")
> [@wm--](#): > > I’m just saying, that’s hardly an example of unambiguous rudeness, like taking a phone call in a movie theater. If another patron standing up hurt your enjoyment of the show, that has as much (or more) to do with your expectations as her behavior. > > It would be like not enjoying a concert because the other patrons clapped or cheered too loudly. It _is_ on you to tolerate it even if you don’t like it, because it’s normal behavior at a rock concert. So, what you are saying is that because rudeness and total disregard for other people have become so commonplace as to be accepted in this instance, that I should continue with the status quo, thereby giving up my right to (or people behind me) enjoyment of the event in question to someone who is going out of her way to perpetrate assholery. Well, when carrying on a conversation on a cellular phone in a theater becomes so commonplace as to lose its rude edge, you can defend that, too. As for my expectation, I’m well aware that just because I expect my fellow human beings not to behave like tree dwelling crap flingers, does not mean they will meet my expectations. When in Rome, and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Autumn\_Almanac](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d26b3c/32.png) [@Autumn\_Almanac](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autumn_Almanac)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/92 "2006-07-08T00:40:59Z")
> [@Faruiza](#): > > So, what you are saying is that because rudeness and total disregard for other people have become so commonplace as to be accepted in this instance, that I should continue with the status quo, thereby giving up my right to (or people behind me) enjoyment of the event in question to someone who is going out of her way to perpetrate assholery. No, you’re way off. 🙂 Honestly I’m not even sure how you got that from my post. ---
**Author:** ![cosmosdan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a6a055/32.png) [@cosmosdan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cosmosdan)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/93 "2006-07-08T02:16:50Z")
> [@quietman1920](#): > > The only authorities on a train are the conductor(s) or the transit police. If you have an issue, your resposibility in a civilized society is to inform them about it so they can take action. > > And if they look at you like you have three heads, then you are probably the one who is out of line. You are just wrong on this one. Getting in someones face is not assault. I suppose if someone really could convince a jury they felt in real physical danger by the Sophie Tucker songs they\* might\* :dubious: get a pass for self defense. Do you think that’s likely? In my experience people who are oblivious to how inconsiderate they are being to others learn better from an example. They may be mad at first but the next time they open a phone in a public place they’re more likely to remember. ---
**Author:** ![David\_Simmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9de053/32.png) [@David\_Simmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/David_Simmons)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/94 "2006-07-08T04:46:14Z")
> [@Hung Mung](#): > > Yeah, that’s why I don’t go to many movies anymore. When I do go, it’s usually late in a movie’s run when there are fewer people and thus fewer chances for such douchebaggery. Well, if everyone told the theater owner they wouldn’t come back until loud talking, cell phones an the like were silenced and then actually carried through it might do some good. Hitting someone is rarely a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![rinni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f6c823/32.png) [@rinni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rinni)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 10:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/95 "2006-07-08T10:59:56Z")
Thanks, Larry Mudd! And I don’t just mean that in an abstract way. You’ve done me a favour! Since we’re both in Vancouver, maybe he won’t answer his phone if he winds up going to the same movie as me! 😃 I recently saw at the movies a _Cars_-related anti-cellphone trailer. Lightning McQueen was racing and then the sound of a cell phone rang, and he crashed or something, and it showed an exasperated Lightning saying, “Please… turn off your cell phones!” The cell phone ringing in the trailer was extremely realistic. I almost got angry. 😛 Then, during that movie, I actually witnessed my first-ever cell phone call during a movie. I’d honestly never seen it happen before, but the girl sitting directly in front of me answered her phone and talked! I was kind of in disbelief. It’s something I’ve read about frequently on the SDMB, but I’d never seen it happen until that moment. All I could think was, “Wow, I can’t believe I witnessed that. It’s just so rude. Doesn’t she know how rude it is?” But the thing is, she wasn’t even talking loudly, so it would have been easily ignored if it hadn’t caused me to obsess about the sheer rudeness. After a short time she stopped and apologised to the people next to her, and a few minutes later I was over it. I did want to say something while she was on the phone, but I thought that would only distract even more people, since she wasn’t exactly yelling in the first place. Other than situations like that, I’m not usually bothered by people who use their cell phones at a normal speaking volume. On transit, walking down the street, in the elevator? Doesn’t bug me. Unless you’re yelling, as was mentioned earlier. Why do so many people feel the need to yell into their phones? ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/96 "2006-07-08T12:28:07Z")
Perhaps one of our movie business Dopers could make a short film as a [youtube.com](http://youtube.com) salutory lesson/urban myth. The annoying twit with a phone receives a savage beating and his phone is thrown against a wall. Surely it would be easy to fake - small cast, any cinema will do, low light low fi. I recall years ago reading an article called, I think, “Three New York Stories” by a journalist who had moved there from somewhere rural. One was about him attending a movie. Some guy down the front of the balcony area kept talking and some black guy up the back kept asking him to “please be quiet.” Eventually the black guy, who was huge, walked down to the talker, picked him up and threw him over the railing into the stalls. They listened to him moan for a while until his companions got down there and took him away. I remember being awfully impressed as this was in the early 70s. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/97 "2006-07-08T12:43:51Z")
True Story: My office is in its busy season, and we have a second assistant on “standby” to come in once or twice a week to handle the overflow (mostly filing and answering phones). Yesterday she got a cell phone call and stayed on the phone for over three fucking hours. When I talked to her, she’d say “Hold on a minute,” listen to me and then resume talking. She did the filing, but I had to answer every phone call. I asked her to hang up, and she kept saying 'In a minute." I have a hunch she won’t be here anymore. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/98 "2006-07-08T13:59:04Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > True Story: My office is in its busy season, and we have a second assistant on “standby” to come in once or twice a week to handle the overflow (mostly filing and answering phones). Yesterday she got a cell phone call and stayed on the phone for over three fucking hours. When I talked to her, she’d say “Hold on a minute,” listen to me and then resume talking. She did the filing, but I had to answer every phone call. I asked her to hang up, and she kept saying 'In a minute." > > I have a hunch she won’t be here anymore. Where was the boss when all this was going on? If it were me, she’d’ve been fired right after you told the boss what was going on, the boss told her to hang up, and she said “In a minute.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/99 "2006-07-08T15:57:05Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Where was the boss when all this was going on? If it were me, she’d’ve been fired right after you told the boss what was going on, the boss told her to hang up, and she said “In a minute.” Both Bosses were outside the office, which was one reason why she was in the office to begin with. I’ve already talked to Boss #1 about the incident. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [July 8, 2006, 5:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/100 "2006-07-08T17:20:11Z")
I had a personal phone come in on my cell while the owner of the company was in my office talking to me about work-related stuff; I said to my caller, “I’m in meeting; can I call you right back?” and he said yes, so I finished talking with my boss and called him back. It’s not rocket surgery, people - I don’t think your co-worker is going to be there much longer, either, **Annie.** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007.md?page=6)