# A tired old rant -- but this time it nearly came to blows. \[Theatre etiquette.\] **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 3, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007 "2006-07-03T03:02:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Monty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monty/32/47_2.png) [@Monty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monty)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/141 "2006-07-19T10:20:47Z")
[QUOTE=SusanStoHelit] I’m noticing an exciting new trend in theatres. I went to the new _Pirates_ movie last weekend and the usher made an announcement that any cell phone that they saw in the theatre would automatically be assumed to be a camera-phone, and since it is illegal to record movies, the cell would be taken away and you would be faced with a $5,000 fine. And (as the beautiful, beautiful usher said) “this movie is good, but it’s not worth $5,000” [/QUOTE] I’d love to see them try to get that prosecuted for a cell phone without a camera. I’d also love to see NOBODY using a cell phone in a theater. ---
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 11:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/142 "2006-07-19T11:24:08Z")
[QUOTE=2nd Law] [Shepard Book]… you’re going to burn in a very special level of Hell, a level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. [/Shepard Book] [/QUOTE] At one of the screenings of _Serenity_ I saw, some punkass kid answered his phone, and a guy in my row said loudly but calmly “Shut up, or I will shut you up.” The rest of the kid’s party giggled and he got up, turned around to face his accuser, and discovered that the guy was mid-20s, easily 250 pounds, and had a good foot of height on the kid. The kid walked out. I guess I should be glad Joss got their money, but why would anyone who talks in the theater even think of seeing _Serenity_ in its first week? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 11:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/143 "2006-07-19T11:58:48Z")
Wow, **Jurph** , it takes a special kind of stupidity to answer a phone in a movie filled with fanboys and gals; frankly, as dedicated as Whedon fans are, I’m surprised there wasn’t a lynching on the spot. As **Una** mentioned, I’ve confronted these annoying people in the theaters. Whether you’re talking too loudly, answering a phone (admittedly, that rarely happens in the KC theaters I attend), or–the annoyance _du jour_ of the week–texting on your phone, I’ll try to whisper something politely, or walk on over and tell you to stop. Unfortunately, as others have said, if it escalates to where you need to get them out, you have to leave the theater to find a manager and miss a portion of the movie. Sometimes the effort’s worth it, a lot of the time (e.g., when you’re in a stadium-style theater and you’re at the top while the annoying texters are a mile away at the bottom) it’s not. Some days, unfortunately, you gotta swallow it and hope you can shrug off the distractions. But, boy, what I wouldn’t give for that magical button attached to my armrest that’d allow me to hand out electrical shocks to those who won’t watch the friggin’ movie. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/144 "2006-07-19T12:12:06Z")
[QUOTE=Miller] In fairness, (and without re-reading the whole thread to make sure I’m right) I think only two people have claimed they’ve ever directly confronted someone over this: **Eve** and the OP. Most of the other posts have been phrased as “What I’d like to do,” “What someone should do,” or “What I saw some other guy do this one time.” I’m not seeing too many claims of personal confrontation here. Most of us just sit and stew, and then vent about it here on the internets. [/QUOTE] _raises hand_ I’m getting too old to sit back and stew (45), so when some jerk started to hold up the lite-brite screen his cell phone had and take a frickin’ screen shot of the movie I walked up behind him and said (in my most menacing voice) “knock it off!” I startled him and he knocked it off. Funny thing, when I got up right behind him it was then I noticed that he had an infant on his lap. Little guy was so quiet and still I did not know he was there. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/145 "2006-07-19T13:12:58Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] But, boy, what I wouldn’t give for that magical button attached to my armrest that’d allow me to hand out electrical shocks to those who won’t watch the friggin’ movie. [/QUOTE] Would that include sleeping through movies one didn’t want to see in the first place but was forced to attend? If so, keep your hands off of my button; if not, carry on. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/146 "2006-07-19T13:26:35Z")
Depends. Are you snoring? Loudly? ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/147 "2006-07-19T13:37:14Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] Depends. Are you snoring? Loudly? [/QUOTE] Mrs. D\_Odds would put a quick end to that. ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2006, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/148 "2006-07-19T14:56:03Z")
Oh, well, that’s alright, then. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/149 "2006-07-20T04:20:09Z")
[QUOTE=SkipMagic] Whether you’re talking too loudly, answering a phone (admittedly, that rarely happens in the KC theaters I attend), or–the annoyance _du jour_ of the week–texting on your phone, I’ll try to whisper something politely, or walk on over and tell you to stop. [/QUOTE] Was that intended to be as silly as it is? ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/150 "2006-07-20T13:45:59Z")
[QUOTE=flight] Was that intended to be as silly as it is? [/QUOTE] I missed the silly part. ---
**Author:** ![flight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbce88/32.png) [@flight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flight)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2006, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/151 "2006-07-20T19:23:31Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] I missed the silly part. [/QUOTE] annoyance du jour of the week - annoyance of the day of the week ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 21, 2006, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007/152 "2006-07-21T00:45:19Z")
Oof. I _did_ miss it. I’m just not that sharp before seven AM, I guess. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-tired-old-rant-but-this-time-it-nearly-came-to-blows-theatre-etiquette/363007.md?page=7)