# A toast to the ladies **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 30, 2000, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456 "2000-11-30T22:26:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/21 "2000-12-01T15:56:49Z")
> [@](#): > > A bird and a bottle and a bed badly tossed… Um, what’s the bird for? “Kinky is using a feather, but a fetish requires the whole bird.” ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/22 "2000-12-01T16:05:23Z")
psssst. ixnay on the “atthay indka ofay uygay”!!! ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/23 "2000-12-01T16:08:04Z")
**Air kisses to all the guys** …and an extra one to **dropzone** for such a sweet thread! ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/24 "2000-12-01T17:50:38Z")
::wanders in:: Am I included in this élite bunch? ::waits patiently:: ---
**Author:** ![Una\_Persson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/una_persson/32/346_2.png) [@Una\_Persson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Una_Persson)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/25 "2000-12-01T18:06:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Doctor Jackson \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > A bird and a bottle and a bed badly tossed… > > Um, what’s the bird for? > > “Kinky is using a feather, but a fetish requires the whole bird.” \*\* bird = English slang for a pretty girl ---
**Author:** ![lurkernomore](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@lurkernomore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lurkernomore)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/26 "2000-12-01T18:12:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tiggeril \* > \*\*::wanders in:: > > Am I included in this élite bunch? > > ::waits patiently:: \*\* We toast all the ladies of the board - please come in, Tig ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/27 "2000-12-01T19:17:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Strainger \* > \*\*When God made little boys > He made them out of string. > He had a bit too much > So He left a little thing. > > When God made little girls > He made them out of lace. > He didn’t have enough > So He left a little space. > > Gentlemen, to space. ::clink:: \*\* LOL ---
**Author:** ![Delta-9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/3be4f8/32.png) [@Delta-9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delta-9)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/28 "2000-12-01T19:35:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Strainger \* > \*\*. . . He left a little space. > \*\* Gives new meaning to the phrase, “But baby, I just need a little space, okay?” ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/29 "2000-12-01T19:43:56Z")
Aw, shucks. You guys are nice, too. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/30 "2000-12-01T19:44:16Z")
“A bird and a bottle and a bed badly tossed.” —Actually, it’s a pheasant. “A hot bird and a cold bottle” was the dinner to have at Rector’s if you wanted to impress that girl from the “Florodora” sextette you just made a date with. Oh, a diamond bracelet hidden in the flowers wouldn’t come amiss . . . And, Drop, dear, a toast right back atcha! ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/31 "2000-12-01T19:50:37Z")
Here’s to the maiden of bashful fifteen, Here’s to the widow of fifty! Here’s the the flaunting, extravagant queen, Here’s to the housewife who’s thrifty! Let the toast pass, Drink to the lass, I warrant she’ll prove an excuse for the glass! (Can you believe I didn’t have to look that up? Jesus, it’s SCARY the shit that’s still rattling around inside my skull.) ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/32 "2000-12-01T19:59:42Z")
this is not dodgy - this is … uhm… a random guy using her computer… and I want to say that she is the very best poster on this bord. Eurotrash rox It s not that I … uhm… but it had to be saied. Uhm. random guy who is not dodgy ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/33 "2000-12-01T19:59:44Z")
Aww this is so sweet! _smiles_ You guys are so nice… I’m feeling a warm and fuzzy inside _gives all the guys a big hug_ ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/34 "2000-12-01T20:02:20Z")
If I may hijack: I’d like to toast the gentlemen of the SDMB. You guys are the best. [sub]…and in my mind’s eye, you’re all tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, witty, classy, well-dressed, well-hung, and fabulously wealthy…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![BornDodgy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19b73/32.png) [@BornDodgy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BornDodgy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/35 "2000-12-01T20:05:01Z")
Now seriously: you guys are great! dodgy ---
**Author:** ![tiggeril](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tiggeril/32/7234_2.png) [@tiggeril](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiggeril)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/36 "2000-12-01T20:20:05Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by lurkernomore_ > **We toast all the ladies of the board - please come in, Tig** Why, thank you. I belive this is the first time I’ve been toasted. 🙂 Thanks to all the gentlemen of the SDMB… make that all the _yummy_ men of the SDMB. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/37 "2000-12-01T20:46:09Z")
Gentlemen, when a woman gives you her time and attention, this is a great honor. …and always remember: When you get honor, STAY honor. 😉 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Persephone \* > \*\*[sub]…and in my mind’s eye, you’re all tall, dark, handsome, intelligent, witty, classy, well-dressed, well-hung, and fabulously wealthy…[/sub] \*\* _whistle_ :::newbie seen franticly waving his arms at the back of the room [sub]“I’m over heeeere!” [/sub]::: ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/38 "2000-12-01T21:17:22Z")
Damn, **drop** , you’re really turning into quite the ladies’ man! Who’da thunk that harmless old man presentation (pretty durn convincing cammo BTW) was merely a cunning subterfuge?! Mind if I troll behind your growing harem eagerly awaiting any overflow, spillage, or “day old” offerings? **CASANOVA LIVES!** _(in a suburb west of Chicago)_ We, your humble brethren, bow down before you. Now pass me a beer. It’s Friday, the sun is well over the yardarm, and there’s babes all over the joynt! ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/39 "2000-12-01T22:24:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tiggeril \* > **Am I included in this élite bunch?** As I tried to explain before, my pseudo-parental obligations stand in the way of my full appreciation of your womanly charms. BUT, since I’m so much **not** your father that I have never met your mother, not even in the Richard-Hatch-as-donor sense, you are most certainly included. Kinship was always my worst subject in Anthropology. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2000, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456/40 "2000-12-01T22:52:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dinsdale \* > **Who’da thunk that harmless old man presentation (pretty durn convincing cammo BTW)** Cammo? Hiding in plain sight, disguised as myself, a harmless, though dirty, old man. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Omniscient \* > \*\* psssst. ixnay on the “atthay indka ofay uygay”!!! \*\* We needn’t pretend something we aren’t. It’s not like they haven’t figured us out already. Especially you. Some guy posted a thread that has seemed to disappear where he spoke of how great it was to be able to flirt with women who were “out of his league” in high school. I think **BornDodgy** ’s thread about the guys she meets in chat illustrates that well. There, the guys and the questions they ask are creepy. Here, she volunteers the same information, and more, and gives us a link to her web site so we can learn more about her. (And her family unto a hundred generations… 😉 ) It’s so different here. It’s probably the sense that we know each other as well as we think we do. But it is more than that. Here we learn about each other, each person’s loves and dreams and sorrows, long before we learn what they look like. We are able to, and I cannot emphasize this enough, _**LEARN THAT APPEARANCES AREN’T EVERYTHING, AND THAT THE (PERHAPS) PLAIN APPEARANCE OF A FRIEND IS FAR MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN THE BEAUTIFUL APPEARANCE OF A STRANGER!!!**_ And we may never learn what somebody looks like, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make us happy, or even horny! It’s just too cool. Have a great weekend, all of you. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-toast-to-the-ladies/43456.md?page=3)