# A vengeful nutjob with a gun is coming for you RIGHT NOW. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 10, 2015, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424 "2015-08-10T03:40:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/1 "2015-08-10T03:40:52Z")
Imagine that some time ago you inadvertently pissed off a random nutjob who swore to get you eventually, though never specifying how. Now your phone rings, and a person you know well and trust implicitly tells you the nutjob has acquired a Glock 19 and is headed to your home to vaccinate ye against oxygen. From what your friend tells you, the nutjob is 10 minutes away. What is your response? Do you run for cover, or hunker down in your house? Do you trust your local police to help you, or do you consider yourself on your own? ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/2 "2015-08-10T03:44:06Z")
I call 911 and hunker down at home. I wouldn’t leave the house because I’d be concerned I would be caught in the open, and I don’t have a gun to fire back. ---
**Author:** ![bump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7c8e57/32.png) [@bump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bump)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/3 "2015-08-10T04:09:49Z")
I’d likely call the cops first, then load up the 9mm. Then I’d probably just wait until the cops showed up, or nutjob did. If he showed up, he’d have to break in before I’d shoot at him. The big question would be what to do with the wife and kids. I’m assuming that said nutjob hadn’t been to my house before, and had looked up my address. So that means he’ll be in the front of the house in all likelihood, so I’d probably send the wife and kids into the back room and have them lie down, while I stayed in the common area near the door and front windows. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/4 "2015-08-10T04:11:38Z")
The police will come, I’m not sure how much help they will be. I’ll be preparing a surprise for him. ---
**Author:** ![GrumpyBunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bc8723/32.png) [@GrumpyBunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrumpyBunny)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 4:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/5 "2015-08-10T04:13:29Z")
I would wonder how the fuck my ex found me. Two ideas: First, I’d call the local cops and tell them what’s going on. In my favor; I live in a good-size condo complex, and all the units look alike. And he doesn’t know what I drive these days. **Idea one:** the phone and I would go up into the attic (it has a claustrophobic little entryway) and I’d haul the ladder up after me. **Idea two:** if I knew said crazy person wasn’t nearby yet – hie myself into the nearby woods. Tell cops of plan so they can track my cell. Both plans include having my firearm to hand. However, laws here in MA are really strict, so it’s totally last resort. ETA: **Idea three:** Lure crazy person into downtown Lowell, MA. That’ll teach him. ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/6 "2015-08-10T04:14:01Z")
Activate the perimeter… and wait. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/7 "2015-08-10T05:07:01Z")
Call the cops and tell them where said nutjob is headed. At the same time, I’d hop in the car and not be where said maniac expects me to be, and inform the cops of my plans. Even if my pursuer shows up as I’m pulling out, they’re going to have to be amazingly skilled to keep up with me and shoot. If I have more than a minute’s head start, I can be a couple of miles away before they arrive at my house. 10 minutes? I’ll probably be somewhere in any of five counties. Good luck finding me before the cops find you, nutjob. Either way, if I’m informed there’s going to be a shootout, and from my point of view my participation isn’t really required: I’m going to do my best to not be there when it happens. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/8 "2015-08-10T05:11:33Z")
I’m out of town visiting relatives this week. So I’ll call the police back in my hometown and let them handle it while I get a good night’s sleep a few hundred miles away. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/9 "2015-08-10T05:14:12Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > The police will come, I’m not sure how much help they will be. I’ll be preparing a surprise for him. I’d have to double think calling the police. I’d be armed, and, with my experience calling the police, I’d be downright afraid that they would shoot me. My gf doesn’t live with me, so, I don’t mind an OK Corral scenario, but, I’m not going to invite other people to shoot at me. ---
**Author:** ![Hail\_Ants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/dc4da7/32.png) [@Hail\_Ants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hail_Ants)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/10 "2015-08-10T05:15:17Z")
Would grab my 12 gauge shotgun (kept loaded), run to my car, drive at least a half mile from my house onto a side road, and call the cops from there… ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/11 "2015-08-10T05:18:28Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > I’d have to double think calling the police. I’d be armed, and, with my experience calling the police, I’d be downright afraid that they would shoot me. My gf doesn’t live with me, so, I don’t mind an OK Corral scenario, but, I’m not going to invite other people to shoot at me. It’s problematic. It will be very dark out and both cops and the nutjob will be stumbling around outside. I guess I could call them afterwards. I hope they don’t ask me to make sure he’s really dead. ---
**Author:** ![jimbuff314](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c57346/32.png) [@jimbuff314](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jimbuff314)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/12 "2015-08-10T05:50:17Z")
I’d probably go straight to the source and shoot the creator of hypotheticals of varying degrees of unlikeliness. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/13 "2015-08-10T06:35:54Z")
> [@jimbuff314](#): > > I’d probably go straight to the source and shoot the creator of hypotheticals of varying degrees of unlikeliness. Or you could just not read my threads. It’s not like I force you too. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/14 "2015-08-10T08:55:08Z")
I don’t have a firearm of my own, but I have a steel door with a six-point lock and bars on all of my windows, and I live on the seam between an upscale residential neighborhood and a prosperous business district. I’ll lock up and pour myself a drink until the cops arrive. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/15 "2015-08-10T09:07:18Z")
I feel like this is a contrived pro-gun rights scenario, but I’ll bite. Is this just a regular old crazy person or is John Wick personally coming for me for killing his dog? Why would I not trust the local police to do their job? I mean I get that your local cops typically take their sweat-ass time when you call in a noise complaint about your neighbors, but does a 911 call about a gun-toting maniac not bring every cop for miles in most places? I don’t have a gun but even if I did, shoot-out is still a last resort. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/16 "2015-08-10T09:15:31Z")
Call the police. Here in the UK, the nutjob is breaking the law just by having that handgun. ---
**Author:** ![coffeecat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/coffeecat/32/3405_2.png) [@coffeecat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/coffeecat)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/17 "2015-08-10T11:00:00Z")
Lock the door and call the police. All I have is a kukri and you know what they say about a knife and a gun fight. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/18 "2015-08-10T11:07:54Z")
I see we are not asking, “Need answer fast?” anymore. Pity. I’d grab my keys and the dog, and call the police from the car. If Nutjob followed me, I’d just head for one of the nearby suburbs where my wretchedly déclassé car would no doubt cause all the residents to call the state police. (I’m very fair skinned, so I’d probably be okay.) > [@GrumpyBunny](#): > > **Idea three:** Lure crazy person into downtown Lowell, MA. That’ll teach him. Teach him what? Where to get good Mexican food and excellent tortellini, not to mention handmade chocolates and pretty good falafel? Or where to hear excellent music? Purchase reasonably priced original art and reproductions? Take a pleasant walk around historic sites (less than 200 years old, but still)? Hear at least three different languages? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 11:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/19 "2015-08-10T11:11:09Z")
I’m leaning towards GTFO. Locks and windows are flimsy little nothings in the face of someone who is determined to come after _you_. > [@msmith537](#): > > Why would I not trust the local police to do their job? I mean I get that your local cops typically take their sweat-ass time when you call in a noise complaint about your neighbors, but does a 911 call about a gun-toting maniac not bring every cop for miles in most places? I’d trust them to do their job, but in many cases that job might be arranging for a body bag and a van from the morgue. Not everyone lives in town where there are police a few minutes away. ---
**Author:** ![Kobal2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kobal2/32/20_2.png) [@Kobal2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kobal2)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2015, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424/20 "2015-08-10T11:16:35Z")
That’s what the police is ultimately about, innit ? Well, the non-US police, anyway. Then again I’m not black, so I might could be fine even in the US. So, batten the hatches and wait. And wait. And wait. Push comes to shove, I have enough odds and ends around the place to rappel down the side of the building (or even just swing down to my neighbours’ balcony immediately below, assuming he’s going to try and hack at a rope) and I live close enough to the subway to quickly get lost in a maze of twisty little tunnels, all alike. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-vengeful-nutjob-with-a-gun-is-coming-for-you-right-now/727424.md?page=2)