# A Very Poorly Written News Article **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 24, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730 "2012-10-24T14:27:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/1 "2012-10-24T14:27:55Z")
Am I nuts or is this the world’s most poorly written news article? > **[2 brothers charged in missing N.J. girl's slaying](https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/10/24/missing-girl-nj-charges/1653753/)** > > Teen boys' mother called police after reading a suspicious Facebook posting. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/2 "2012-10-24T14:41:19Z")
No, a couple of weeks ago someone posted one that was much, much worse. ---
**Author:** ![bup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6bbea6/32.png) [@bup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bup)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/3 "2012-10-24T14:50:28Z")
There’s a comma shortage or haven’t you heard? ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/4 "2012-10-24T16:31:48Z")
There’s some odd punctuation choices, but eh, not the worst writing ever. It’s from the Cherry Hill, N.J. Courier-Post, so I don’t exactly expect Hemingway. Horrible story, though… ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/5 "2012-10-24T16:48:02Z")
I’ve seen far, far worse. Though I think we deserved an explanation of the criminal charge for “luring”. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/6 "2012-10-24T16:57:37Z")
I think it’s written really well. I’m always impressed when junior high school newspapers get picked up by the wires. ---
**Author:** ![pancakes3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ba9def/32.png) [@pancakes3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pancakes3)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/7 "2012-10-24T17:47:55Z")
The punctuation, the narrative style that the opening is written in, the lack of information (motive?)… I’d like to see examples of worse - not that I doubt there is worse out there. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/8 "2012-10-24T18:12:30Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Am I nuts or is this the world’s most poorly written news article? > > [USA TODAY](http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/10/24/missing-girl-nj-charges/1653753/) Given that choice, you are nuts. ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/9 "2012-10-24T19:14:34Z")
Well. If that’s supposed to be an inverted paragraph style story, the lead should have all the facts in the first 'graph. You don’t get to any facts until somewhere around the 4th 'graph. The fifth graph would be the best lead, but when combined with the fourth. I would say that you are not nuts, but this probably isn’t the world’s most poorly written news article. The writer probably shouldn’t have or didn’t graduate from a decent journalism school, but this isn’t bad for, say, a high school paper. ---
**Author:** ![h.sapiens](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e0b2c6/32.png) [@h.sapiens](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/h.sapiens)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/10 "2012-10-24T19:25:24Z")
I’ve seen worse, but the paragraphs in the linked article seem to be in a random order. It’s very disjointed. ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/11 "2012-10-24T20:21:04Z")
Meh, I’ve see worse. I think the worst I ever saw was in the sports section and basically said (and I’m not paraphrasing much) > [@](#): > > _Other Sports_ > > **Reds beat Blues** > > In a keenly fought contest last night the Reds beat the Blues by a score of 35 - 12 ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2012, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/12 "2012-10-24T22:59:25Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > Am I nuts or is this the world’s most poorly written news article? > > [USA TODAY](http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2012/10/24/missing-girl-nj-charges/1653753/) Interesting. I’m teaching a writing class on “logic and organization” soon, and so I eagerly clicked on your link, hoping for an example I could use as an illustration to share with students. Instead, I found a “false dilemma” in your question - something I will be telling the class of aspiring writers to look out for. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/13 "2012-10-25T02:24:54Z")
> [@pancakes3](#): > > the narrative style that the opening is written in Somebody went to the “set the scene” newswriting workshop. It’s an acceptable form for some types of stories, but probably not the way to go when two teenagers are arrested for killing a 12-year old girl and the biggest story the Cherry Hill Post will cover this year. As far as not mentioning a motive, it looks like the prosecutor didn’t want to say much since it hasn’t been determined whether the teens will be prosecuted as adults, so I’ll give the reporters a pass on that. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/14 "2012-10-25T02:32:00Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Meh, I’ve see worse. > > I think the worst I ever saw was in the sports section and basically said (and I’m not paraphrasing much) 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Frylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@Frylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frylock)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/15 "2012-10-25T02:36:27Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > 😕 I think the problem is that we have no idea what sport is being discussed. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/16 "2012-10-25T04:21:17Z")
> [@](#): > > The Gloucester County Medical Examiner’s office determined the cause of death as blunt force trauma, consistent with strangulation Say again? ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Feldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lord_feldon/32/341_2.png) [@Lord\_Feldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Feldon)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/17 "2012-10-25T05:02:32Z")
I still have no idea what word was meant [in this article:](http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/political/allen-west-patrick-murphy-congressional-race-west-has-9-point-lead-over-murphy-in-new-poll) > [@](#): > > The Republican Party of Florida recently sent out a mailer embezzled with a photo of a burning American flag Embellished? Embossed? ---
**Author:** ![Accidental\_Martyr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ce7236/32.png) [@Accidental\_Martyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Accidental_Martyr)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/18 "2012-10-25T05:27:50Z")
> [@Lord\_Feldon](#): > > I still have no idea what word was meant [in this article:](http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/political/allen-west-patrick-murphy-congressional-race-west-has-9-point-lead-over-murphy-in-new-poll) > > Quote: > The Republican Party of Florida recently sent out a mailer embezzled with a photo of a burning American flag > Embellished? Embossed? Emblazoned? ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/19 "2012-10-25T06:06:23Z")
Embroiled? Embalmed? Embolistically emollient? Embraced by an embarrassment of embargoes? ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730/20 "2012-10-25T13:23:54Z")
> [@Frylock](#): > > I think the problem is that we have no idea what sport is being discussed. Not to mention that 35-12 doesn’t sound “keenly fought” at all. Meanwhile, the one-sentence paragraphs in the article linked by the OP are a bit annoying. You’d never catch me doing anything like that. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-very-poorly-written-news-article/638730.md?page=2)