# A WARNING For The Guys..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 4, 2004, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633 "2004-06-04T15:15:38Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ea5d25/32.png) [@Happy\_Scrappy\_Hero\_Pup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Scrappy_Hero_Pup)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/541 "2004-06-26T14:04:51Z")
Ah, how little you boys know. She’s a woman… and now he is a man. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/542 "2004-06-26T16:47:04Z")
Hey, all you people that tryin’ to sleep , I’m out to make it with my midnight dream, yeah. 'Cause I’m a back door man. The men don’t know, but the little girls understand. ---
**Author:** ![Chanteuse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de053/32.png) [@Chanteuse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chanteuse)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2004, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/543 "2004-06-26T16:47:36Z")
> [@koeeoaddi](#): > > I’m sick and tired of hearing the phone ring 15 times. I’m sick and tired of getting back my dimes. Cause I know where you are – you’re down drinking at the bar! Here’s a quarter. Call someone who cares. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/544 "2004-06-27T03:57:39Z")
Operator, well could you help me place this call? See, the number on the matchbook is old and faded. She’s living in L. A. with my best old ex-friend Ray, A guy she said she knew well and sometimes hated. Isn’t that the way they say it goes? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/545 "2004-06-27T04:03:13Z")
Mr. Telephone Man, there’s something wrong with my line. When I dial my baby’s number, I get a “click” every time. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/546 "2004-06-27T05:20:55Z")
And I need you more than want you, and I want you for all time. And the Wichita Lineman is still on the line… ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/547 "2004-06-27T06:08:40Z")
I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m begging you to beg me. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/548 "2004-06-27T15:59:07Z")
> [@trublmakr](#): > > I want you to want me. I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me. I’m begging you to beg me. I want you. I need you, but there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you. Now don’t be sad, 'cause two out of three ain’t bad. ---
**Author:** ![scotandrsn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a4c791/32.png) [@scotandrsn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scotandrsn)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/549 "2004-06-27T16:05:11Z")
Sometimes you have to listen closely, because Doo Wah Diddy can sound an _awful_ lot like Da Doo Ron Ron. In which case, her name might be Jill, and if you meet her on a Monday, you could be headed for a mycoardial infarction. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/550 "2004-06-27T16:12:49Z")
> [@scotandrsn](#): > > Sometimes you have to listen closely, because Doo Wah Diddy can sound an _awful_ lot like Da Doo Ron Ron. In which case, her name might be Jill, and if you meet her on a Monday, you could be headed for a mycoardial infarction. Doctor, doctor, give me the news - I’ve got a bad case of lovin’ you, right? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/551 "2004-06-27T16:53:15Z")
Doctor, my eyes cannot see the sky, is this the price for having learned how not to cry? ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/552 "2004-06-27T18:40:25Z")
I went to the Doctor, guess what he told me, guess what he told me? He said girl, you got to have fun no matter what you do. But nothing compares 2 U. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/553 "2004-06-28T01:45:30Z")
I was feelin’ so bad, I asked my family doctor just what I had. I said Doctor? DOCTOR? Mr. M.D.? DOCTOR? Can you tell me what’s ailing me? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 1:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/554 "2004-06-28T01:50:55Z")
> [@kunilou](#): > > I was feelin’ so bad, I asked my family doctor just what I had. I said Doctor? DOCTOR? Mr. M.D.? DOCTOR? Can you tell me what’ **s ailing** me? Sailing, takes me away to where I’ve always heard it could be. Just a dream and the wind to carry me and soon I will be free. ---
**Author:** ![Suse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@Suse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suse)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/555 "2004-06-28T12:20:20Z")
I was born in the sign of water and it’s there that I feel my best. The albatross and the whale, they are my brothers. It’s kind of a special feeling when you’re out on the sea alone, staring at the full moon like a lover. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/556 "2004-06-28T20:27:29Z")
In the town where I was born lived a man who sailed the sea… ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/557 "2004-06-28T20:33:34Z")
The captain wired in he had water comin’ in, and the good ship and crew was in peril. And later that night when his lights went outta sight, came the wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/558 "2004-06-28T21:39:56Z")
On the good ship Lollipop it’s a sweet trip to the candy shop. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/559 "2004-06-28T22:38:38Z")
Candy, Candy, Candy I can’t let you go. All your life you’re haunting me, I loved you to. ---
**Author:** ![Amberlei](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e56c9b/32.png) [@Amberlei](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amberlei)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2004, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633/560 "2004-06-28T23:58:43Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Candy, Candy, Candy I can’t let you go. All your life you’re haunting me, I loved you to. I smell sex and candy here. Who’s that lounging in my chair? Who’s that casting devious stares in my direction? Mama this surely is a dream. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-warning-for-the-guys/248633.md?page=29)