# A "What the fuck?" to TheWhoToTheWhatNow **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2011, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125 "2011-05-25T06:44:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/122 "2011-05-26T19:37:53Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > I’m honestly not used to such a hostile crowd in general, I usually give people the benefit of the doubt. If someone said they wanted to kill their co-worker for eating their sandwich at lunch I wouldn’t assume they were actually planning to execute a murder. Or I would at least ask them specifically “Wait are you saying that you’re planning to execute a murder?” not “Wait so are you saying you have experience with this kind of thing?” (which to the person “this kind of thing” could mean “being upset with a co-worker”) > > - TWTTWN You do realize there is a difference between communicated IRL and typing on a message board, don’t you? Somethings like sarcasm don’t translate well on the Internet. IRL you could see someone’s body language and tone of voice. In an email with an acquaintance you would know what they meant because you’re familiar with their personality. On the SDMB, all we have what you type. You have to realize that not everybody is going to read every post to get the context. Imagine each of your posts exist in a vacuum. Best case scenario is you’re just really, really, very, very bad at articulating yourself in the written form. Your constant defense against criticism of “That’s not what I said/wrote/meant” is evidence in that direction. Your verbosity in explaining your positions when most people could get them across in fewer words also is evidence. But you’re intelligible enough, I was willing to give you that benefit of a doubt at first. Since then, your body of work gets creepier and creepier. No one is going to give you the benefit if a doubt. Everything you say, TWTTWN, is going to be interpreted in the worst way possible. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/123 "2011-05-26T20:18:26Z")
> [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > Yep, the psychology behind how our perspectives influence how we view events can be a messed up concept. I was simply pointing that concept out and saying that I’ve seen it in various forms in my experience, but I repeatedly said that I’m not saying it’s something I endorse or participate in. If it’s not an activity you endorse, can you explain why you didn’t point that out when I made the following response to your pancake rape story? Because you should have been agreeing with me if what you’re saying is true. Instead, you didn’t agree and in fact, vehemently acted as though you were talking about seduction instead of rape. > [@you with the face](#): > > I guess it’s comforting to know that there might be men out there who have sex with protesting women with the hope that if they serve them breakfast in bed the next morning, there’s a certain probability that they will delude themselves into seeing it as a romantic adventure instead of rape. And by “comforting” I mean “scary as fuck”. Carry on, though. > [@TheWhoToTheWhatNow](#): > > Exaggeration AND sarcasm all in one paragraph! Nice! I don’t really expect you to believe it because very few people (especially women) have the experience of seducing a large amount of women and the ins and outs of why certain things produce result A and certain things produce result B. These are clearly not the words of someone who thinks this is unacceptable behavior. So it’s kind of late to say that you do now, when you could have easily made that obvious when I first called you on it. ---
**Author:** ![Zeriel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/58956e/32.png) [@Zeriel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeriel)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/124 "2011-05-26T20:28:19Z")
Damnit, this thread makes me want pancakes. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/125 "2011-05-26T20:30:46Z")
Come over to my place and watch me… cook! Plus, I have enough oil for any conceivable, or inconceivable, need. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/126 "2011-05-26T20:31:17Z")
I want waffles. Hopefully the next man that tries to rapes me is jotting this down. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/127 "2011-05-26T20:34:05Z")
A tip for the ladies: If your date shows up with a bottle of maple syrup in his pocket … RUN! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/128 "2011-05-26T20:43:06Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I want waffles. > > Hopefully the next man that tries to rapes me is jotting this down. Fine, but no waffles until _after_ the rape, and you have to agree not to call the police. Or the health department. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/129 "2011-05-26T20:44:19Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > I want waffles. > > Hopefully the next man that tries to rapes me is jotting this down. I have a waffle maker. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Morbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/morbo/32/389_2.png) [@Morbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morbo)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/130 "2011-05-26T20:45:37Z")
So we’ve got this guy getting sex and finishing with making breakfast, and we’ve got [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=599757) guy beginning with making breakfast to get sex? Can we get these two to shake hands? ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/131 "2011-05-26T20:50:54Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Fine, but no waffles until _after_ the rape, and you have to agree not to call the police. Or the health department. Deal. And if you throw in some Jimmy Dean sausage links, I promise to not tell **monstro** either. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/132 "2011-05-26T20:59:16Z")
Jimmy Dean has his sausage link and I have mine. You have to choose. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/133 "2011-05-26T21:02:31Z")
I think I would need the pancakes up front. I promise to stick around for the rape, though. Pinky swear! ---
**Author:** ![B.Serum](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/b.serum/32/14266_2.png) [@B.Serum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B.Serum)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/134 "2011-05-26T21:07:53Z")
It’s not just the physical fucking, it’s the mindfucking. Just listened to a very timely “[Savage Love](http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/SavageLovePodcast/Page/)” episode last night. The caller at 20:22 talks about a situation in which she was with a guy in an uncomfortable situation and she doesn’t know if she was “officially raped” or not. She admits that she decided to go “upstairs” with a guy. But after saying no to sex, he persisted and convinced her that she should. He broke down her defenses and she finally agreed to it. But here’s the thing, she’s still so traumatized by this experience **two years out** , and you can hear it in her voice, that she has to call an advice columnist to help move past this. It drives home the point of something Whotothewhatnow’s PUA religion either doesn’t get, or doesn’t care about: this “smoothing things over” mindfuck may last long enough for PUA-bags to get out the door, but people they leave behind in their wake are still damaged nonetheless. Women have a right to be pissed at them for being manipulative sociopaths. Even guys should be pissed because the guys that come after them are going to be dealing with the baggage that they left behind. You don’t need to be a rapist to abuse someone emotionally; and it’s not the kind of thing that’s done by accident. _Listen to the podcast episode linked above, much more and better discussion happens than I can provide here._ ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/135 "2011-05-26T21:08:31Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Jimmy Dean has his sausage link and I have mine. You have to choose. I can’t because I’m the waffling type! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/136 "2011-05-26T21:09:29Z")
> [@jsgoddess](#): > > I think I would need the pancakes up front. I promise to stick around for the rape, though. Pinky swear! Lucky for you my Pancake Rape Special is totally different from my Waffle Rape Special. We can make this happen! With Pancake Rape, you get the pancakes first, rape second, followed by bacon and your choice of beverage with a morning after pill. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/137 "2011-05-26T21:38:18Z")
> [@VinylTurnip](#): > > Disco Stu doesn’t cuddle! Neither does Max Power. You strap yourself in and feel the Gs! ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/138 "2011-05-26T21:47:35Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > A tip for the ladies: > > If your date shows up with a bottle of maple syrup in his pocket … RUN! Is that a bottle of maple syrup in your pocket - or are you just happy to see me? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/139 "2011-05-26T22:17:18Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > With Pancake Rape, you get the pancakes first, rape second, followed by bacon and your choice of beverage with a morning after pill. “…and that’s why I’ll never go back to that Denny’s ever again.” ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/140 "2011-05-26T22:21:52Z")
How about Bacon, Eggs, Rape, and Spam? It doesn’t have much rape in it. ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2011, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125/141 "2011-05-26T22:32:48Z")
> [@B.Serum](#): > > It’s not just the physical fucking, it’s the mindfucking…this “smoothing things over” mindfuck may last long enough for PUA-bags to get out the door, but people they leave behind in their wake are still damaged nonetheless. Women have a right to be pissed at them for being manipulative sociopaths. Even guys should be pissed because the guys that come after them are going to be dealing with the baggage that they left behind. Excellent post and excellent point, seriously. Thanks for making it, even at the rapecakes end of the thread. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-what-the-fuck-to-thewhotothewhatnow/583125.md?page=8)