# A whole new reason to move out ASAP **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 10, 2005, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179 "2005-05-10T04:41:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/21 "2005-05-12T20:44:50Z")
So let me get this striaght: If you’re an adult, and you live with your parents, you’re a worthless, craven, ungrateful sponge of a human being… Unless you’re also a drug addict and convicted felon. Then you deserve nothing but charity and compassion, and you get a free pass to live with mom and/or dad as long as you need. **Incubus** , it’s not too late to turn this pitting back to your favor! Quick, shoot up some heroin and knock over a liquor store! That’ll make everything okay again! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/22 "2005-05-12T20:48:28Z")
> [@](#): > > But it’s their home and their decision, and whining about dissapointment and ball-dropping sounds pretty ridiculous coming from someone who’s suckling the same teat. It is their home and their decision. I am just disappointed about the decision. I’m not a drug addict nor a shoplifter- nor do I feel comfortable living with one. > [@](#): > > This may be a “whole new reason to move out ASAP.” But I doubt he will. > > When his mother asks this 25 year old man share in the with the rent and other household expenses, that will be the day he really thinks about moving out. You couldn’t be any more incorrect about this matter. As soon as I get a full-time job I am going. If it weren’t for the play I performed in this spring, I would have been gone already. I can’t _wait_ to be on my own. But I need to start my career first. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/23 "2005-05-12T20:50:21Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > So let me get this striaght: > > If you’re an adult, and you live with your parents, you’re a worthless, craven, ungrateful sponge of a human being… > > Unless you’re also a drug addict and convicted felon. Then you deserve nothing but charity and compassion, and you get a free pass to live with mom and/or dad as long as you need. > > **Incubus** , it’s not too late to turn this pitting back to your favor! Quick, shoot up some heroin and knock over a liquor store! That’ll make everything okay again! **Miller** you really crack me up 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/24 "2005-05-12T21:01:10Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > It is their home and their decision. I am just disappointed about the decision. I’m not a drug addict nor a shoplifter- nor do I feel comfortable living with one. > > You couldn’t be any more incorrect about this matter. As soon as I get a full-time job I am going. If it weren’t for the play I performed in this spring, I would have been gone already. I can’t _wait_ to be on my own. But I need to start my career first. If you’re only disappointed, and not screamingly fucking furious, why is this in the Pit? Not junior-modding, honestly curious. This sounds more like “This stuff is happening and it sorta blows” than “I cannot fucking believe the way my life has been turned upside-down.” Meanwhile, “as soon as I find a full-time job…” “as soon as I’m done with this play…” “as soon as the Spring fashions change…” is not “I can’t wait to be on my own.” It’s protracted adolescence, and that’s fine and dandy and everyone seems to be doing it these days, but it’s NOT “I can’t wait.” ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/25 "2005-05-12T21:07:21Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > If you’re only disappointed, and not screamingly fucking furious, why is this in the Pit? Not junior-modding, honestly curious. This sounds more like “This stuff is happening and it sorta blows” than “I cannot fucking believe the way my life has been turned upside-down.” I didn’t realize there was a minimum outrage level for posting in the pit. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/26 "2005-05-12T21:14:27Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I didn’t realize there was a minimum outrage level for posting in the pit. If there are any minimums here I think that **Incubus** has passed them long ago. I’m not complaining actually, I may just use all his posts to write his life story. I just need a title. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/27 "2005-05-12T21:43:20Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > I didn’t realize there was a minimum outrage level for posting in the pit. Well, if there’s a maximum beyond which one should not go in MPSIMS…as there is…then one would think (as far as annoyances go) that would be where the Pit begins. Else, why bother with the Pit if you’re not specifically following the directive: “This is the place for all complaints and other discussion regarding administration of the SDMB” ? ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/28 "2005-05-12T21:59:34Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > Well, if there’s a maximum beyond which one should not go in MPSIMS…as there is…then one would think (as far as annoyances go) that would be where the Pit begins. Else, why bother with the Pit if you’re not specifically following the directive: > > “This is the place for all complaints and other discussion regarding administration of the SDMB” > > ? Taking that argument as granted, how do you make an objective determination of what level of ire or outrage belongs in the Pit, and how much belongs in MPSIMS? I’d certainly say that this OP, even under your interpretation of how angry **Incubus** is, is still clearly Pit material. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/29 "2005-05-12T22:11:49Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > Taking that argument as granted, how do you make an objective determination of what level of ire or outrage belongs in the Pit, and how much belongs in MPSIMS? I’d certainly say that this OP, even under your interpretation of how angry **Incubus** is, is still clearly Pit material. Obviously everyone is going to have a different opinion of what level of ire (or outrage) makes a Pitting. In my npf humble opinion, “Mom’s taking in her boyfriend’s ex-addict daughter and it bums me out because I might actually have to shift my ass before it’s ideal for me” is more of an MPSIMS whine than a Pit rant. ---
**Author:** ![Greathouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/greathouse/32/2992_2.png) [@Greathouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greathouse)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/30 "2005-05-12T22:15:43Z")
Meth addict here. Feb. 2005 made it a year since I have used. Let me say, GET THE FUCK OUT. If you’ve got somewhere else to go, then do it. If you don’t have anywhere else to then bolt everything down, get a security camera, a guard dog, and an alarm system. When I was hooked on that shit, I did some of the shitiest thing in my life to the people I loveed the most, because they gave me the most leeway. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/31 "2005-05-12T22:18:25Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > Obviously everyone is going to have a different opinion of what level of ire (or outrage) makes a Pitting. In my npf humble opinion, “Mom’s taking in her boyfriend’s ex-addict daughter and it bums me out because I might actually have to shift my ass before it’s ideal for me” is more of an MPSIMS whine than a Pit rant. I think you could put a period at the end of “daughter” and it would be both a perfectly pit-worthy subject and a more accurate summation of the OP. I’d also leave off the “ex-”. From what I understand about addiction therapy, there’s no such thing as an “ex-” addict. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/32 "2005-05-12T22:21:36Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > Obviously everyone is going to have a different opinion of what level of ire (or outrage) makes a Pitting. In my npf humble opinion, “Mom’s taking in her boyfriend’s ex-addict daughter and it bums me out because I might actually have to shift my ass before it’s ideal for me” is more of an MPSIMS whine than a Pit rant. As it is the nature of threads like this to become trainwrecks, if I’m not sure if something is pitworthy or not, I’ll put it in the Pit just in case. I see threads in other boards get moved to the Pit, but very very rarely Pit threads getting moved out. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/33 "2005-05-12T22:26:08Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Originally Posted by Miller > > Taking that argument as granted, how do you make an objective determination of what level of ire or outrage belongs in the Pit, and how much belongs in MPSIMS? I’d certainly say that this OP, even under your interpretation of how angry Incubus is, is still clearly Pit material. > > Obviously everyone is going to have a different opinion of what level of ire (or outrage) makes a Pitting. In my npf humble opinion, “Mom’s taking in her boyfriend’s ex-addict daughter and it bums me out because I might actually have to shift my ass before it’s ideal for me” is more of an MPSIMS whine than a Pit rant. I think this hijack should be in ATMB. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/34 "2005-05-12T22:35:55Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > ex-addict daughter I’ve never met an ex-addict. I’ve met many who claim to be ex-addicts, but it turns out they lied. Or fooled themselves. I know addicts in recovery, addicts who are managing to abstain for brief periods of time, and addicts who are taking the express elevator straight to hell. A lot of my patients are meth addicts in forced remission due to being in prison. I know very few recovering meth addicts, but the ones I do know are remarkable people. Even more so than the standard recovering addict, who is a model of contradiction and hope to begin with. IMHO, meth addicts trying to get into recovery should ideally reside in a therapeutic community for about a year. If that’s not happening, be kind and supportive, but don’t be stupid. Keep your stuff locked up. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/35 "2005-05-12T22:41:02Z")
> [@Qadgop the Mercotan](#): > > I’ve never met an ex-addict. I’ve met many who claim to be ex-addicts, but it turns out they lied. Or fooled themselves. > > I know addicts in recovery, addicts who are managing to abstain for brief periods of time, and addicts who are taking the express elevator straight to hell. > > A lot of my patients are meth addicts in forced remission due to being in prison. I know very few recovering meth addicts, but the ones I do know are remarkable people. Even more so than the standard recovering addict, who is a model of contradiction and hope to begin with. > > IMHO, meth addicts trying to get into recovery should ideally reside in a therapeutic community for about a year. > > If that’s not happening, be kind and supportive, but don’t be stupid. Keep your stuff locked up. Thanks, Doc 🙂 I really do hope she cleans herself up. Sadly this isn’t the first time she’s ‘had to clean up her act’. Her father has been dealing with this rollercoaster for ten years now. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/36 "2005-05-12T22:47:51Z")
Pardon my sematic error. “…hopefully-recovering-but-not-completely-because-there’s-no-such-thing-as-an-ex-addict daughter…” ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2005, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/37 "2005-05-12T22:51:21Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I really do hope she cleans herself up. Sadly this isn’t the first time she’s ‘had to clean up her act’. Her father has been dealing with this rollercoaster for ten years now. Addiction is a relapsing disease. I tried and failed to recover for a number of years before it “clicked”. A relapse is merely indicative of not working a correct recovery regimen for that particular individual. As such, relapses can be instructive and lead to better quality recovery. Of course, relapses can also lead straight to jails, institutions, and death too. It’s a pisser. ---
**Author:** ![if6was9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e47c2d/32.png) [@if6was9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/if6was9)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/38 "2005-05-13T05:32:59Z")
> [@Incubus](#): > > I know I have been very fortunate in having a mother generous enough to allow me to get on my feet and give me a chance to move out and start my career with every advantage possible. For that, I am greatly appreciative. However, my mom really dropped the ball on me this evening. > > She announced that her boyfriend’s daughter, a drug addict who had been spending the past couple of months in prison for shoplifting, will be coming to live with us for a while. I, for one, am not comfortable with the prospect of a meth addict who had spent the last 3 months doing drug deals out of a motel room coming to live with us. > > It’s nothing personal. However, this woman has a way of getting trouble to follow her wherever she goes. I think that having her live here is bad news, and personally I am going to use it as a very strong incentive to find a means to get out of here ASAP. > > My mother rightly justified the decision, pointing out that since I don’t pay the mortgage, I don’t have any say. Her boyfriend pays half of everything, and she can’t afford to live in the house if he bails. But I am rather surprised that my mom, having an ex-spouse who was a drug addict, would go along with this. I am disappointed about her decision, but then again, I’m the only one that seems to have a problem with it. :mad: > > I guess it gives me a reason to look forward to going to the job fair in Santa Clara tomorrow… ☹ You’re (presumably) an adult, you live with your mother, and it takes a situation like this to make you THINK about moving out? Cut the cord… jeez! ---
**Author:** ![bobkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c67d28/32.png) [@bobkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bobkitty)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/39 "2005-05-13T13:50:10Z")
> [@if6was9](#): > > You’re (presumably) an adult, you live with your mother, and it takes a situation like this to make you THINK about moving out? Cut the cord… jeez! Yeah, I would have thought the pregnancy scare was enough to make him grow up, but I guess instead it takes mom’s attention going to someone else. “WAAAAHHHHHH!! I should be the only one freeloading off my mom!!!” ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2005, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179/40 "2005-05-13T13:57:21Z")
I was planning on moving out this summer. I’ve been looking for full-time work for two months now. My plan was to get a full-time job, save up some money, then move out. I’ve wanted to move out for a while. But I didn’t want to live paycheck to paycheck like my friends do. I’d rather be financially prepared to move out. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-whole-new-reason-to-move-out-asap/303179.md?page=3)