# A Witch! A Witch! We've Found A Witch! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 27, 2005, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209 "2005-10-27T21:52:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/41 "2005-10-28T19:44:19Z")
> [@](#): > > I’ll take over the nipple inspection going forward, Inigo. Damn, why did I have to be travelling today…Now i’m stuck in the line ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/42 "2005-10-28T19:47:53Z")
Oh, and you can have Prue. While witch nipple chocolating is a good thing, _dead_ witch nipple chocolating is taking it a bit too far. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/43 "2005-10-28T19:48:30Z")
I remember a catering job I did once for this Wiccan group, and everyone had to have a different sub for lunch. Only the packages weren’t marked. So the problem was … Do you see it coming? Which 'wich was which witch’s 'wich? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/44 "2005-10-28T20:19:03Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > How could you tell which witch was which? Well…she looked like one! ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/45 "2005-10-28T20:24:07Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Well…she looked like one! did she have on a fake nose and large pointy black hat? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/46 "2005-10-28T20:30:31Z")
Nope. But she did have frosty cold chocolate nipples! ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/47 "2005-10-28T20:34:42Z")
I got here late, save me a witchy chocolate nipple. ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/48 "2005-10-28T20:34:46Z")
okokokok what about the warlocks - where are we going to apply the chocolate on them? hmmmm? ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/49 "2005-10-28T20:41:26Z")
Yow! Well if the choclate’s been heated up it’d add a whole new meaning to butning a witch at the stake! ---
**Author:** ![UncleRojelio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unclerojelio/32/3160_2.png) [@UncleRojelio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleRojelio)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/50 "2005-10-28T20:56:43Z")
> [@eleanorigby](#): > > Is she a good witch or a bad witch? I dunno yet. I’d have to see their nipples. Is it just me, or is it colder than a witch’s tit in here? ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/51 "2005-10-29T01:07:45Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > May we burn her? No, but _we_ may spank her. A Spanking! A spanking! May _I_ spank her! (May _she_ spank _me_?) ---
**Author:** ![zelie\_zelerton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/59ef9b/32.png) [@zelie\_zelerton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zelie_zelerton)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/52 "2005-10-29T01:10:27Z")
So did you burn her yet? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/53 "2005-10-29T01:18:57Z")
> [@Inigo Montoya](#): > > Yow! Well if the choclate’s been heated up it’d add a whole new meaning to butning a witch at the stake! it won’t be that hot, and it will be licked off very quickly \ ---
**Author:** ![Peter\_Morris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/peter_morris/32/359_2.png) [@Peter\_Morris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peter_Morris)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 1:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/54 "2005-10-29T01:54:29Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Witch-bridge? **That** bridge. Where-wolf? ---
**Author:** ![anyrose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/54ee81/32.png) [@anyrose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anyrose)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/55 "2005-10-29T02:01:09Z")
> [@Peter Morris](#): > > Where-wolf? There wolf. There Castle you started it ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/56 "2005-10-29T02:14:49Z")
I know everyone is afraid of Where-woofs but I would be way more worried about all those Were-houses I keep hearing about. ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/57 "2005-10-29T03:09:50Z")
I have devised a fool-proof method to tell witches apart from others. We must first erect a scaffold exactly thirteen feet high, and light a fire on top of it. Next we must aquire a mirror and set it up in a manner that it reflects the light of the fire into the room where the witch is being held. Then we take a piece of wood a bit larger than the mirror and every few seconds cover and then uncover the mirror. If she can sleep though this she is a witch, and must be burned. If she does not sleep through it, she is posessed by demonic spirits and we must cut open her skull and remove her brain to let the spirits out. Then put the brrain back in and be cured. If she does not survive the operation it is alright because it means that she was a posessed witch. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/58 "2005-10-29T03:16:25Z")
This new learning amazes me, **Regallag**. Explain again how sheep’s bladders may be used to prevent earthquakes? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/59 "2005-10-29T11:16:30Z")
Yanno, if the line’s too long for inspecting the various witch’s chocolated nipples, I suggest we draft some of the hotties in line waiting to do inspections… and check out their chocolated nipples, too. After all, we need to verify the conditions of the control nipples to be able to make proper judgements about witchy nipples. (Yes, I’m looking at you, **Kythereria** 😃 ) ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2005, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209/60 "2005-10-29T13:17:57Z")
> [@jrfranchi](#): > > I know everyone is afraid of Where-woofs but I would be way more worried about all those Were-houses I keep hearing about. Tell me about it. I used to live in one and every full moon, it turned into a suburban bungalow. The HORROR, I tell you… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-witch-a-witch-weve-found-a-witch/328209.md?page=4)