A woman told me to stop running because of her dog

If I’m in the zone, I’m not stopping.if I haven’t warmed up yet, I may be inclined to stop but IDK.

I guess it would depend on my mood.

I get what you’re trying to do, but misogynistic terms don’t make for good jokes.

Yeah, there are a lot of nasty people in this thread. I don’t understand why the first response of so many here is to be rude to the woman. So many internet warriors. It’s a simple request and she knows her dog better than any of you who are imagining all kinds of scenarios with rabbits and squirrels.

What we know is that the dog chases after people, she cannot control the dog even with a leash, and that she expects people on the opposite side of the street to change how they normally use the public streets to accommodate her.

Pet responsibility lies solely with dog owner.

A stranger running has not one iota of obligation.

Let’s walk through the possible realities.

She knows her dog and it is true that her dog is a real risk to run away after “anything running” with her unable to control it well enough to prevent that. And she is choosing to walk her dog in a residential area, where there may be joggers, kids, and yes the apparently fantastical possibility of rabbits and squirrels. That simply is not a rational choice. It would be reckless behavior and someone who believed that was a reasonable thing to do is being irrational. Talking to them won’t go well.

If I really believed that was the case then maybe we have some ethical mandate to get her not behave recklessly, in a way that potentially endangers others, including kids in yards, and her dog? But highly doubt. And if attempted would not be well received.

She believes it but is wrong, extrapolating because her dog is excitable. It is still her thought process and what she believes. Same as above.

I am personally not concerned for my safety based on her warning.

Actually it’s kind of funny, the dog walker could be just toying with random people she meets. The poor bastard in his front yard raking leaves is told to get back in the house, delivery drivers admonished to back the fuck up i got a dangerous dog here. Everyone vacate the street, I’m coming through!

I’m reminded of a scene from Fierce Creatures where one of the zookeepers was warning somebody about the many dangers of (IIRC) Coatimundis.

Ooooh so dangerous. They’ll raze whole villages when they get their back up!

Spaniels are the same way. If only, like Peter Pan, you believe.

What do you mean by “medium-sized”?

I 100% agree with #1 and, while in theory, I agree with #2, I’m not going to risk it in the interests of self-preservation. The woman sounds like she can’t handle her dog. Why else would she make that request? As I said above, I have a large 85lb dog, half Rott-half pit. I have never needed to ask someone to move away from me. If I see I’m coming up on a person, much of the time I will move way the hell around them, even into the street or the other side of the block, to make them feel more comfortable. I’m not particularly worried my dog will snap at them or anything, but I don’t want them feeling uncomfortable. That’s my job. And the other dog walkers around here with big dogs know well enough to alter their path if I’m walking down the street by myself (or with my dog) for similar reasons. It’s our jobs as dog owners to be courteous this way. And absolutely do not come and try to make friends with dogs without getting the owner’s permission. It’s more about letting the dog meet you on their terms than you meeting the dog on yours, especially a dog you don’t know.

The woman was rude to the runner in the first place, yelling “STOP! STOP!” at them. If her dog isn’t safe on the public streets without her yelling at law-abiding passersby like it’s a major emergency, then she shouldn’t bring her dog on the public streets.

Calling to a runner halfway down the block along the lines of “Excuse me!! My dog is still learning not to chase after runners, would you mind kindly walking till you’re well past us? Thank you!!” would provoke a lot less annoyance, I’m sure. But yelling “STOP! STOP!!” like you’re a first responder at a disaster scene? Yeah, no.

Maybe 50 pounds? Small enough a normal person should be able to hold it, big enough that I wouldn’t want to tangle with it.

I should have noted originally: the dog was sitting, looking at me very intently but not lunging. The woman appeared to be trying to block its view and distract it. So she at least had some kind of control, although that was apparently marginal based on her request.

This is where I started as well. It did feel rude at the time. But honestly, I don’t think I would have stopped immediately or at all if that was the approach she’d taken. Without that urgency, it would have taken me a while to process that she was talking to me and what she was saying.

Who knows what her situation is? She had an unreasonable request delivered rudely. Maybe she is entitled; maybe she is in an unexpected situation, needs help, and is struggling to articulate it. There’s only one data point. One can try to guess what’s more probable, but what is that really worth?

We like to think we are reacting to the specifics of these scenarios, but I think we make our decisions sub-consciously, then interpret the “facts” to justify our decisions.

These scenarios say more about ourselves than the scenario. Do we never want to be a doormat knowing we won’t help when it’s needed? Do we want to always help knowing we will sometimes be a doormat?


My initial reaction would be to walk and be annoyed. A block or two later, I would be mad at myself for being annoyed – that’s not who I want to be. I’m naturally pretty critical; for me, it’s a work in progress.

I would also wager that the majority of reputable, experienced dog trainers would echo Cesar Millan’s near mantra of “calm, assertive energy” as being foundational to training a dog.

To me, this dog owner epitomized its opposite, thus exacerbating the very problem she was ostensibly trying to manage.

Maybe the dog was cool, but the lady was fighting back her own propensity to chase our very chaseable @TroutMan :wink:

a/k/a “Puppy Projection”

This really captures my confusing (and changing) feelings on this. I started off really annoyed, but then questioned if I should be. Especially in the last 10 years, I try to make an effort to grant people grace, even if some of them don’t deserve it. Should I be doing so here?

Initially, the responses here swung me back to thinking it was unreasonable and the woman was completely self-centered. But the lack of empathy in some of the responses here is shifting my opinion again.

Sure, maybe she’s a self-centered jerk who thinks the world needs to adapt to her needs. But I don’t know that. I didn’t stop to talk to her. I don’t know if it’s her dog, I don’t know what she’s doing to train it, I don’t know what’s going on with her life. What’s the cost to her and me if I assume the worst versus if I assume the best?

If I saw her regularly (or even once more), I agree with those who suggest talking to her. Then I can make a decision based on a better assessment. But without any additional info, I guess I’m OK with being nice to someone who might not deserve it.

She is 100% wrong to demand the public accommodate her untrained pet’s bad behavior. Therefore, it is reasonable to ignore/deny her and continue running. If you want to be kind about it, you can explain to her that she is being unreasonable, but she’ll get shitty with you because she already feels entitled to make the world bend for her. You’ll still be mad a few minutes later, and she will have gotten you to alter your pace for the moment. Nuts to her.

If everyone is “reasonable” and does a simple thing to accommodate her, she will never have to make herself better–won’t even know she needs to. Not saying you need to black her eye for being a dummy, but we as a soceity already coddle too much bad behavior out of misplaced empathy for the bad actor’s hard life or whatever. People need to experience the emotions they elicit in others.

Do you think she would extend you the same courtesy? When she wanted you to stop running did she question you to make sure there was not a tiger after you, or that you were in a hurry? No, she just assumed you’d walk when she told you to.

I think it depends on a few factors, but when I used to exercise outdoors, I carried a taser that made a loud zapping noise. I might be tempted to push the button and see what the dog did in response. But I’m not much for confrontations normally, so I’d probably do as she asked.

I was walking my dog a couple of days ago and a man walked up to me and informed me that it was unnatural for a dog to wear a sweater, as mine was. I just smiled and nodded my head and went on my way. People are something.

Curious. The impression I’m getting is that most of who own dogs are on team keep running?

It seems notable to me that @Stanislaus both feels dog owners as a group are entitled, and the runner should stop and have conversation with the dog owner.

I think dog owners understand that controlling our dogs is our job. The respect we demand is to not come up and try to pet our dog without us giving the okay. But we move ourselves to give our dog the bubble it needs.

Yes I also run and would be annoyed at having to stop. Headphones often in so might not even hear. Both of my dogs occasionally with me so already very conscious of my bubble and crossing streets or changing course to avoid my dogs reacting to something. And I can under a ten even twenty foot bubble - as a runner going near a dog I generally give that space. Fifty feet plus or walk? No.

FWIW, I have a 55-pound dog who sometimes runs with me, although she wasn’t on this run. I don’t think we have enough data to say dog owners lean one way or the other.

And I don’t think dog owners are any more or less entitled than the population as a whole. There are a lot of entitled people out there. My guess at the percentage is entirely dependent on my recent interactions and my current mood.

My response to that is pretty clear cut. I always want to help if I can, and I don’t really give a toss who might think I’m a doormat. Because I’m not a doormat.