# A woman who likes younger men is a cougar- what's a younger man who likes older women? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 24, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191 "2011-07-24T18:23:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/41 "2011-07-26T15:18:26Z")
Cougar hunter? ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/42 "2011-07-26T16:14:57Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Good thing words never have two meanings, right? Oh, don’t be such a bear. ---
**Author:** ![md2000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@md2000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/md2000)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/43 "2011-07-26T17:17:33Z")
> [@naita](#): > > A man. Too true. My friend told me his “locker room” conversation with a co-worker went something like this: “You’re 25 and she’s almost 40. Why would you go out with her?!” “She swallows.” So I guess he had his priorities straight. ---
**Author:** ![Leo\_Bloom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leo_bloom/32/10377_2.png) [@Leo\_Bloom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leo_Bloom)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/44 "2011-07-26T17:30:22Z")
> [@md2000](#): > > Too true. > > My friend told me his “locker room” conversation with a co-worker went something like this: > “You’re 25 and she’s almost 40. Why would you go out with her?!” > “She swallows.” > So I guess he had his priorities straight. That’s what the Japanese think too (see post above). ---
**Author:** ![Disheavel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e274bd/32.png) [@Disheavel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disheavel)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2011, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/45 "2011-07-26T18:14:51Z")
> [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](#): > > Cougar hunter? This is what I’ve always heard. And there are [T-shirts](http://www.bustedtees.com/cougarhunter) that support it. I can’t figure out why no one knew it until post #41! ---
**Author:** ![B\_lga](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@B\_lga](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/B_lga)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/46 "2014-03-02T03:00:39Z")
I’m 22, my lady will be 29 in a few days, I was 21 when we started dating. I typically prefer women who are in this range (27-30). I’ve only been in a serious relationship with a woman close to my age once, she was 22 is now 23 and we still stay in age. I find I can go on a date or two with women who are close in age to me, maybe even mess around with them but it never gets serious. Me and my lady often joke about the age difference, and at first it was a “thing” in our relationship but now not so much. Are we at different stages in our life: yes, do we work through it: yes. But really I love dating older women and me and her both are still big kids at heart anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Chefguy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chefguy/32/138_2.png) [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/47 "2014-03-02T03:19:09Z")
> [@B\_lga](#): > > I’m 22, my lady will be 29 in a few days, I was 21 when we started dating. I typically prefer women who are in this range (27-30). I’ve only been in a serious relationship with a woman close to my age once, she was 22 is now 23 and we still stay in age. I find I can go on a date or two with women who are close in age to me, maybe even mess around with them but it never gets serious. > > Me and my lady often joke about the age difference, and at first it was a “thing” in our relationship but now not so much. Are we at different stages in our life: yes, do we work through it: yes. But really I love dating older women and me and her both are still big kids at heart anyways. You’re not at different stages in your life; you’re both in your 20s. Different stages in life would be someone who is 29 dating someone who is 48, or someone who is 40 dating someone who is 24, both of which I did. 22 and 29? Puh-leeze. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 7:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/48 "2014-03-02T07:34:47Z")
I’ve always heard cougar hunter or chaser. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/49 "2014-03-02T13:09:13Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You’re not at different stages in your life; you’re both in your 20s. Different stages in life would be someone who is 29 dating someone who is 48, or someone who is 40 dating someone who is 24, both of which I did. 22 and 29? Puh-leeze. If he is in college and she’s settled then yes, they are at different stages. ---
**Author:** ![Learjeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/94ad74/32.png) [@Learjeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Learjeff)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/50 "2014-03-02T15:37:20Z")
> [@Chefguy](#): > > You’re not at different stages in your life; you’re both in your 20s. Different stages in life would be someone who is 29 dating someone who is 48, or someone who is 40 dating someone who is 24, both of which I did. 22 and 29? Puh-leeze. I disagree. A lot of us make pretty significant transitions in our early twenties, what Erikson called a psychosocial moratorium. Even as late as 22, many people are still trying different senses of identity. At 29, most people have that figured out. It’s a very significant difference in stage of life. But I’ll admit that it barely qualifies her as a cougar; she’s a bit young for that, unless he were still a teenager. And in just a few years, the age difference would hardly be noticeable. ---
**Author:** ![ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b4bc9f/32.png) [@ThisUsernameIsForbidden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThisUsernameIsForbidden)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/51 "2014-03-02T15:52:00Z")
I always thought it was gigolo. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/52 "2014-03-02T16:05:21Z")
In the novel _Waiting to Exhale_, Bernadine takes up with a boy-toy and describes him as a _tenderino._ Looking at urban dictionary, it doesn’t appear to have taken off. ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [March 2, 2014, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/53 "2014-03-02T16:21:42Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Is there a specific term? I’m not talking about gigolos or hustlers or “dudes with mommy issues” but men who are legitimately attracted to women older than they are. Just wondering…why do we assume “mommy issues” (or I suppose “daddy issues” for women) are incompatible with “legitimately [being] attracted” to someone? Each of us likes what we like, for a complex mix of evolutionary, hormonal, psychological, and cultural factors (and some measure of free choice, I guess). You might be shaped by the experience of an absent parent, and that might shape the kind of person you’re attracted to, but none of that means the attractions aren’t ‘real’ or ‘legitimate’. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/54 "2014-03-03T01:41:56Z")
I’ve used the term cub, and have seen some dating site screennames that include the word cub (Cutecub, TallCub ) of young men who make it abundantly clear they only wish to meet women over age 40. ---
**Author:** ![manwithnobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@manwithnobrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithnobrain)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/55 "2014-03-03T02:47:29Z")
Being such a kind of man myself, please allow me to name us ‘connoiseurs’… I definitely believe that suits the characterization of younger men adoring older women…😛 ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/56 "2014-03-03T04:05:06Z")
> [@manwithnobrain](#): > > Being such a kind of man myself, please allow me to name us ‘connoiseurs’… > I definitely believe that suits the characterization of younger men adoring older women…😛 So how YOU doin’? ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/57 "2014-03-03T04:35:34Z")
Can I be the one here to express incredulity? There may be guys who prefer to date older women for various reasons, but to find a woman of 40 more _attractive_ than a woman of 30, say, particularly when the guy is below 30 himself…I doubt that this phenomena exists in any significant number, certainly to justify having a specific label for it. Sorry for the long sentence, couldn’t see how to chop it up ---
**Author:** ![Hector\_St\_Clare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5ac83/32.png) [@Hector\_St\_Clare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hector_St_Clare)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/58 "2014-03-03T05:59:09Z")
**Mijin** maybe more men would be attracted to older women if they didn’t get shamed and laughed at by society for feeling that way. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 7:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/59 "2014-03-03T07:28:15Z")
> [@Hector\_St\_Clare](#): > > **Mijin** maybe more men would be attracted to older women if they didn’t get shamed and laughed at by society for feeling that way. Well that’s conflating two things: what a given person is attracted to, and how they behave. FWIW I’m not laughing at anyone for anything, I’m doubting that such a preference exists. Say we have a hypothetical “cub” who’s 26 years old. He meets a woman who’s 45. They get on great, and she’s attracted to him. However, she doesn’t look 45 – she has the firm body and flawless skin of a woman half her age. So, can he find her attractive? If yes, then his attraction works pretty much the same as anyone’s (though he may find it difficult to find women his own age with compatible personalities). If no, then the assertion that some men are attracted preferentially to older women is true, but definitely put me on the list of people that are skeptical that someone would be turned off by youthful features. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/60 "2014-03-03T07:42:37Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > This is my theory. The theory that is mine, by me. Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there! I thought the exact same thing, but then found that you had ninja’d me by three and a half years. :smack: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191.md?page=4)