# A woman who likes younger men is a cougar- what's a younger man who likes older women? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [July 24, 2011, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191 "2011-07-24T18:23:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![manwithnobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@manwithnobrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithnobrain)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/61 "2014-03-03T12:58:50Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > So how YOU doin’? 🙂 I’m doing myself a favour, trying to substitute the term ‘cub’, for ‘connoiseur’! For some reason, I believe you wouldn’t really object to that;) ---
**Author:** ![manwithnobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@manwithnobrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithnobrain)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/62 "2014-03-03T13:18:17Z")
Actually, it’s quite odd to see some people finding the whole ‘young man attracted to older girl’ scenario strange. I understand how some even go as far, as mentioning ‘mommy issues’… Please allow me to throw a relative argument here! We’ve been accustomed to the typical stereotype of finding young girls attractive, which is kind of a stereotype thing. Some people would even see some ‘ridicule’ in a man who is attracted to the contrary…Why? Personally, I’ve had my share of BS from friends, for this, BUT, there’s a couple facts that should be made clear. 1. Quality of sex: although I don’t really believe that maturity of age ‘sets’ a higher standard for sex, the chances of having great sex, increase drammatically when your partner is more experienced, and feel comfortable with herself. Age definitely helps. 2. Communication: Not a matter of age either, BUT: most girls get easily distracted at younger ages-not because they’re stupid or something-but they usually get more attention than they can handle. Good luck trying to figure out what’s going on, when you’re seriously interested in a popular girl, aged 25 i.e.-it’s hard to settle knowing exactly what you want, when nobody would leave you alone… 3. Looks: Hell, I’m going to stick to this one…a beautiful 40+ woman, would combine so many great attributes, that can easily tear young girls to dust! Here, we get a mix of refined beauty, character, intellect, and maturity… It’s all a matter of personal taste I guess, but hey, it all comes down to asking yourself the following questions: 1. Do you like your steak seasoned? 2. Do you appreciate high quality old wine? 3. Would you wear a Panama hat on the beach? 4. Do you find old Ferrari’s more sexy attractive than new ones? 5. If you smoke, would you prefer one type of cigarette simply because it’s got a white filter tip? If it’s a YES to 3 out of 5 of those, it’s done deal-you’re a ‘connoiseur’! You appreciate the fine things life can offer…So yes, you’re probably fond of mature women!😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/63 "2014-03-03T15:38:04Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > Some (most?) people think that a guy who likes younger women is a stud, but vice versa is a pervert. > > I’m going to be high brow literary and go with [Franklin](http://www.swarthmore.edu/SocSci/bdorsey1/41docs/51-fra.html) HEY! When I posted this, I never dreamed it would be relevant to my own life. Who knew I’d pick up a 24 year old whatever-he’s-called. ---
**Author:** ![manwithnobrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@manwithnobrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithnobrain)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/64 "2014-03-03T16:34:06Z")
‘connoiseur’… Or ‘stud’ should work fine, too! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/65 "2014-03-03T16:53:26Z")
> [@Cub\_Mistress](#): > > I’ve used the term cub, and have seen some dating site screennames that include the word cub (Cutecub, TallCub ) of young men who make it abundantly clear they only wish to meet women over age 40. Your username suddenly suggests many things it never has for the past few years… :dubious: > [@Mijin](#): > > Can I be the one here to express incredulity? > > There may be guys who prefer to date older women for various reasons, but to find a woman of 40 more _attractive_ than a woman of 30, say, particularly when the guy is below 30 himself…I doubt that this phenomena exists in any significant number, certainly to justify having a specific label for it. As a thread on sexual preferences progresses, the probability that somebody will show up and say, “I don’t understand this preference, and therefore it doesn’t exist!” approaches 1. There really ought to be a name for this law. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/66 "2014-03-03T17:46:59Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > As a thread on sexual preferences progresses, the probability that somebody will show up and say, “I don’t understand this preference, and therefore it doesn’t exist!” approaches 1. There really ought to be a name for this law. I can’t vouch for what other people have said on other topics. But I’m quite happy to defend what _I_ have said on _this_ topic (which is quite unlike your paraphrasing). One thing I asked upthread was whether a person would turned off if a woman looked physically young despite being actually older. I’ve noted some tumbleweeds rolling by, but no responses yet. ---
**Author:** ![carnut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnut/32/3531_2.png) [@carnut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnut)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/67 "2014-03-03T18:10:04Z")
> [@naita](#): > > A man. This. What’s the big deal about being with an older woman? Maybe he wants to be with someone that he can be sure won’t be knocked up? Maybe she’s a wonderful person and he is genuinely in love with her. Why do we draw special attention to this when we don’t for an older man/younger woman unless the age difference is over 20 years? I know the answer of course. It’s a sexist society that needs to find something to gossip about. Pretty sad state of affairs, methinks. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/68 "2014-03-03T18:12:36Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > But I’m quite happy to defend what _I_ have said on _this_ topic (which is quite unlike your paraphrasing). I know several men that prefer older women for reasons that have nothing to do with money. I don’t, and I don’t understand the appeal, but far be it from me to tell them they’re wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/69 "2014-03-03T21:03:13Z")
> [@carnut](#): > > Why do we draw special attention to this when we don’t for an older man/younger woman unless the age difference is over 20 years? An older man who goes after younger women is called a Dingo. I don`t know why it’s not more popular because it’s a fantastic name and every bit as clever as cougar. Sexism, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/70 "2014-03-03T21:22:09Z")
Busy. In some locales, very busy. ---
**Author:** ![Melchior](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Melchior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melchior)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/71 "2014-03-03T22:20:16Z")
> [@Sampiro](#): > > Is there a specific term? I’m not talking about gigolos or hustlers or “dudes with mommy issues” but men who are legitimately attracted to women older than they are. Blind. ---
**Author:** ![Cub\_Mistress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea666f/32.png) [@Cub\_Mistress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cub_Mistress)\ **Post date:** [March 3, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/72 "2014-03-03T23:12:04Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > Say we have a hypothetical “cub” who’s 26 years old. He meets a woman who’s 45. They get on great, and she’s attracted to him. > However, she doesn’t look 45 – she has the firm body and flawless skin of a woman half her age. > > So, can he find her attractive? If yes, then his attraction works pretty much the same as anyone’s (though he may find it difficult to find women his own age with compatible personalities). If no, then the assertion that some men are attracted preferentially to older women is true, but definitely put me on the list of people that are skeptical that someone would be turned off by youthful features. As near as I can tell you are the only one who has asserted that a cub would be turned off by youthful-looking older women. I have dated one young man who had just turned 26, I was 54.(28 year’s difference,) I do not look half my age and my skin is not flawless. We dated for several months, and are still friends. He dates women his own age and sends me pictures of them, so, yes, he is attracted to younger women as well. He also dates women that are over 45. However, he tells me and I believe him, that he prefers the older women. > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Your username suddenly suggests many things it never has for the past few years… :dubious: It’s a coincidence, really. I swear. > [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > As a thread on sexual preferences progresses, the probability that somebody will show up and say, “I don’t understand this preference, and therefore it doesn’t exist!” approaches 1. There really ought to be a name for this law. OOOOOOOO, could we call it Cub Mistress’s Law? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/73 "2014-03-04T01:59:31Z")
Well, it’s less unwieldy than Really Not All That Bright’s Law… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/74 "2014-03-04T02:10:14Z")
Prune eater? ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/75 "2014-03-04T03:12:33Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I know several men that prefer older women for reasons that have nothing to do with money. I don’t, and I don’t understand the appeal, but far be it from me to tell them they’re wrong. I didn’t mention money and I didn’t say any behaviour or desire is wrong. Let’s say you prefer experienced, mature women. Well, fine, but why not say exactly that? Not all older women are experienced, and not all younger women are lacking experience. > [@Cub Mistress](#): > > As near as I can tell you are the only one who has asserted that a cub would be turned off by youthful-looking older women. I didn’t assert that; I asked a (deliberately leading) question. If you’re asking my opinion, then of course I would say the opposite: I find it very unlikely that a man would be turned off by an older woman because she looks too young. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/76 "2014-03-04T04:45:03Z")
> [@Mijin](#): > > I didn’t assert that; I asked a (deliberately leading) question. If you’re asking my opinion, then of course I would say the opposite: I find it very unlikely that a man would be turned off by an older woman because she looks too young. I am in the same boat as you. I would only want to be with an older woman if she was physically attractive to me, and hence, she would need to look younger than her age. I don’t know why this is. ---
**Author:** ![bob\_2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bob_2/32/3341_2.png) [@bob\_2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bob_2)\ **Post date:** [March 4, 2014, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191/77 "2014-03-04T11:02:22Z")
When in my late teens, I had a relationship with a woman in her thirties. I just thought I was lucky. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-woman-who-likes-younger-men-is-a-cougar-whats-a-younger-man-who-likes-older-women/590191.md?page=3)